Friday 01-18-2019
I have broken my own heart again...
I'm back up to 221.5 lbs and have crashed my diet. 😫 I don't want to make excuses but I am anyway. Always. I have no control over my cravings while under stress and most things stress me out. I used to get panic attacks just because I needed to make a phone call to someone "outside my circle" or because I remember a memory as embarrassing. I'm really good at hiding this to the world but it takes a toll on me since I'm coping with food... However, it's not the only thing that helps me. Being creative works even better than food BUT I have a "mental block" right now... Called hubby. Yes, my brain has created a block using my husband. For some reason, I can't do things with him in the house. He has never told me to not do my creative things or implied I'm not "allowed". So why am I doing this to my self? It's literary as if I stop my self from doing what I love... And it's STRESSING ME OUT! So I eat...😑