For this post, I thought instead of rambling on about self-care/boundaries/burnout etc I would share a real tool I have been using.
First let me talk a tiny bit about the rational behind it.
I found myself trying to “do self-care” but never really following through or making much progress and I kept losing track of what I was working on specifically.
SO…If I have learned nothing else from my work, I have learned the real-life use of clear, specific, measurable goals that can be measured over time.
To do what you will find below I had to think about the following
When I feel at my best what is happening? What am I doing and what am I not doing?
Literally list things (walking, seeing people, being around trees, taking naps, drinking less alcohol…literally whatever POSITIVE thing)
How can I do more of those things? How often would be realistic and manageable?
Walking everyday seem to be too much? Maybe make it less. What needs to happen for you to do those things? Need to shift your schedule around so there are pockets of time? Do it.
Knowing what I know about myself, how can I make it more probable that these things will happen?
I am super visual, and I love check marks. I like seeing physical representations of progress. I like physical copies of things.
I need a motivator, a positive reinforcement for doing thing.
DO IT!
Here is (the best example) of my self-care chart (this one is fancy because I love Halloween). I do this every week. Each time I do one of the things for that day I mark it. At the end of the week I tally them up and record what percentage I did that week. I also have a “weekly” section where I need to do each of those things weekly. If I end up doing any of them, I add them to the count that goes towards the percentage. (Also, not that it matters, as I am typing this out, I am working on my 3rd Nalgene of the day, and have had almost all my fruits and veggies <3)
Above you will see a line graph tracking the weekly percentages for every week since August 3rd. On the left, it is measured by percentage. It doesn’t include this week, the week of 10/26 as it isn’t over yet!
So far, as you can see on the VERY scientific line graph *pushing my glasses upward on the bridge of my nose*, overall I have been making measurable progress. Some days, and weeks, are better than others, I am particularly proud of the week of 10/12. Some days my self-care game is on point (because I feel good already, have motivation and have the energy) and other days I struggle. Either way, what I like about this tool is that it holds me accountable to myself. It also gives me a space to be thoughtful and creative with trying new things, keep track of things that work, remove things that don’t, change around frequency of activities, look back at when things did work etc.
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You get the picture. Another important thing worth mentioning-- This is in NO WAY supposed to be a way to shame yourself into doing things. There are days where I notice I do this thing were I’m all, *insert a high pitched voice and picture an older lady standing over you wagging her finger in disappointment* “Sara you have to do that thing because its on the to do list!” Then I resent the list and it becomes a “should”. This list is an impartial measurement tool and a visual reminder, nothing more. Is it an extra motivation to follow through with things, yes. AND at the same time, if I am having a hard day and don’t get to “being active” or eating all three fruits and veggies that is ok. The point of the list is to remind myself to take care of myself and some days what I need changes.
Being harsh, self-critical, and self-shaming is NEVER good self-care-- plus, it’s not on the list, like ever.
