- “I am stupid. I am . . . worthless. I-I am useless.” Those three sentences repeated in whumpee’s ears over and over again. They tried to struggle, their fingers clawed at the arm of the chair and their shoulders rocked against the back. But the headphones never fell out. The words echoed in their ears as tears slid down their cheeks. They wanted it to stop.
They knew they were stupid.
They knew they were worthless.
They knew they were useless.
They just wanted the verbal attack to stop. Finally silence fell and they opened their eyes to see whumper standing in front of them. “Now, why don’t you tell me why you’re here.” They suggest, removing the headphones. Whumpee took a relieved sigh and looked down ashamed. “I am stupid. I’m worthless. I’m useless.”
Chapter 127 Summary: The next morning Peter goes to make sure Rowan’s all right. (Targs: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi, @much-ado-about-whumping, @abitefullofeverything, @whump-me-all-night-long, @sky-or-something-idfk and @tears-and-lilies)
Peter could hear Rowan shifting around in his room, and he suppressed the urge to turn his head to check, he knew that William would snatch at any opportunity to try and goad Peter into reacting. He didn’t want to risk getting angry again, or for Rowan to hear through the door all of the things that William would say in an attempt to upset him.
William was still asleep for now, Peter had begrudgingly tossed a pillow at him in an attempt to get him to stay quiet during the night and now he was on his side, face obscured by his loose hair.
Peter decided that he wanted to take this brief opportunity to check on Rowan and had to push himself to his feet without making a sound, just in case. As he gently turned the doorhandle he heard scrambling on the other side and looked in curiously, Rowan met his gaze and relaxed immediately, afraid that it was potentially William, having escaped his bonds and was now coming for him.
“Hey, Row, how are you?” Peter whispered, closing the door behind him.
“F- I’m fine,” He muttered, relaxing in the bed again.
“Should I bring you anything?” Peter asked. “Your books or tools for carving?”
“Yes please,” Rowan answered quickly. “I don’t want to go to out there, even if he isn’t awake.”
“I’ll be back in a moment,” Peter smiled soothingly and stepped backwards towards the door again.
“Um, w-wait, please?” Rowan asked, flushing deeply as he glanced over to Peter. “I didn’t…I didn’t sleep well, could you keep me company for a few minutes?” He was afraid of refusal, that he would be turned down and left alone for hours more with no company but his sleeping companion Olivia, and his penetrating thoughts.
“Of course,” Peter answered, dispelling all fears immediately. “I wouldn’t mind some company for a while, either,” He sat on the edge of the bed and smiled at Rowan. “Have you had a nightmare?” He asked softly, folding his hands in his lap.
“Sort of,” It was true, his sleep hadn’t been restful. First he was distracted by Olivia and her wellbeing, and then the snatches of sleep he caught were riddled with flashing images of death and torture and fear. “I’m still a bit shaky,”
“No doubt you are, William is definitely a jarring character.” Peter smiled. Would you like some tea, then?” He asked and Rowan shook his head.
“Not just yet,” He said. “I’m all right for now,”
I don’t want you to leave just yet.
“That’s all right,” Peter sighed gently and glanced out the window. “Would you like to talk about anything?” He asked, looking back to Rowan’s timid face.
“What…what did William say about me?” He asked, surprising Peter. “I know he spoke to you last night, he had to have, he wouldn’t just stay quiet.”
“We should talk about something else,” Peter suggested quietly, studying Rowan’s face for an answer to why he wanted to discuss the elephant in the next room.
“Was it that bad?” Rowan asked.
“No, but you shouldn’t focus on things he says, you said so yourself.” Peter replied.
“I’m not, but I just…I want to know what he said about me.”
“It seems as though you’re almost, addicted to the abuse William gave you,” Peter murmured. “You’re looking for something to upset you.”
“I-no, I’m not!” Rowan exclaimed in outrage. “I-I don’t…wh-why would I look for-for…I hate him!”
“You are asking me to tell you what your abuser said about you, knowing that it won’t be anything positive,” Peter stated, inching forward slightly. “I can’t see any way in which it will do any good. Why should I give you that information? Why should I give you more reason to feel upset?” Rowan looked down shamefully and shrugged, his fingers wringing together restlessly. “Why would you want to hear what he said?”
“I…I just…” Rowan paused for a second and rubbed his nose agitatedly. “My nightmare…I was talking to him again, and he was saying…some things that I didn’t like, but they made sense, and I hated it even more because of it,” He admitted, sniffling into his sleeve. “I only wa-I only wanted to know if he…actually did say those things,”
“Well, I didn’t let him say anything about you,” Peter soothed, placing his hands on Rowan’s shoulders. “If it was a nightmare, then it doesn’t matter a sod, it’s just your own mind warping the things he’s said to you in the past, he hasn’t said these things, and Gods know your mind isn’t one to play fair. So just disregard it as a cruel joke and take a deep breath.” He said calmly. “You know I will fully support you, and I’m willing to dismiss any fears you have about your worth or about the monster in the next room,”
“I know,” Rowan murmured and leaned forward, resting his forehead on Peter’s shoulder. “I…I like it when you say it, though,” He admitted and Peter chuckled slightly.
“Good,” He sighed. “Imagine, now I need to fight off your subconscious demons as well as those from your past,” He joked and Rowan snorted weakly, covering his nose as he giggled in a much lighter mood than before.
“Thank you, Peter,” He sniffed, hands taking the handkerchief that Peter held to him. “But, I don’t want you to have to look after me so much, you don’t need to fight anything,”
“I’m not doing it from obligation,” Peter replied, brushing his hair from his eyes. “You should know this by now,”
“I…I know, I only…I-I struggle to process the idea that you don’t, want anything from me,” Rowan admitted, rubbing his eyes with his hands.
“Because of him,” Peter said, in a much sterner voice than Rowan was expecting. “And he won’t get away with it.” He promised, catching Rowan’s eye.
“Mh-hmn,” Rowan nodded softly and Peter smiled, ruffling his hair gently.
