Singing and Insecurities
A/N: I don’t hate Roman and I apologize for making him seem evil in this fic! I am aware that he is not a bad guy! I had thrown out an idea in the discord chat and this was the only way to get it to work. Don’t hate me for Roman’s characterization!
This was just an idea I was toying with in which Logan did sing in the New Years video but then never again so maybe Roman said something. The POVs don’t really make sense but uhhh. It’s 2:30 so yeah... This is not edited.... send help
Warnings: intrusive thoughts, singing?, self-doubt, self-hate, anger, yelling
(Takes Place Right After “A New Year of Lying to Myself….In Song!!)
Roman’s POV
Had Logan really sung that well? Was it even possible that Logan could manage to sing better than him? He was creativity after all if anyone should mimic Thomas’ angelic singing it should be him not Logic.
He had to go confront Logan, there was no way he would be shown up by a nerd. This would not do, Thomas’ fans could not believe that Logic was capable of also being creative. What if his fans decided that Logic, of all people, would be capable of creativity, and therefore would render Roman useless. That simply would not do in Roman’s mind, Logan was the least favorite. He should stay there or at the very least become a favorite without stealing Roman’s thing.
Roman decided to watch the video before he went to confront Logan. Maybe Roman was being overdramatic, he was known to blow things out of proportion for theatrics. Not that he could really help it, Virgil was anxious about everything, and Roman was very extra and flamboyant, it was just a thing everyone had accepted.
After watching the video once (uhhhh five times) he had decided that he must confront Logan at once. The thoughts in his head were making it nearly impossible to think straight (hahaha). The thoughts saying things like, “Wow if only your notes sounded as full as his. Do you project as well as he does? Nope, didn’t think so. His range is greater than yours. He’s making you look stupid in your own department.”
Roman was only good at one thing and Logic was trying to take that away from him. Logan had many things he was good at and no one could argue that he was unnecessary. Roman, on the other hand, people could argue that he was keeping Thomas from doing other things with his life by making dreams and goals so unattainable. Roman obviously didn’t do this on purpose but when he was thinking it was difficult to stifle the creative streak. In Thomas’ mind, the sky was the limit, anything that could be thought could be attainable.
By the time that Roman reached Logan’s room he was fuming. Common sense and a filter had gone out the window, replaced by hurt, disdain, sadness, and maybe rage. Roman didn’t bother knocking on Logan’s door. He just turned the knob and swung open the door, causing Logan to jump in his seat.
Once regaining his composure, Logan stood up to greet Roman but was immediately pushed back into his chair. Roman placed his hands on his hips, “You don’t get to speak yet. How are you able to sing?”
Logan shrugged, unsure if he was allowed to speak. Roman realized Logan was taking the not speaking thing literally and said, “Speak, nerd,” the emphasis and malice put on the word nerd would have made a normal person lose their composure.
The logical side didn’t miss a beat, “Well Roman we are all part of Thomas; therefore, it is only logical that we can all sing like him.”
Roman had already considered that earlier not really having a good reason or the filter to reason with him right now he said, “But you are Logic. You should not be capable! Nay, you aren’t capable.” Roman was no longer in control of the words that were coming out of his mouth, all reason and consideration for the other’s feelings had gone out the window. He would deal with the fallout from this later, right now he needed to get this off his chest.
Roman took in a deep breath, “If we ever do singing in a video again you might as well just duck out or not participate. Singing is much like participating in professional make-believe---unprofessional.”
Logan’s mouth hung open but he was at a loss for words. Roman chose now to finish his rant, “You wouldn’t want to embarrass Thomas, would you?” Logan shook his head but didn’t speak. Roman patted Logan on the cheek, “Good. Glad we could come to an understanding,” then he sauntered out of the room.
Logan’s POV
Logan sat in his chair for a few minutes trying to process exactly what had happened, but no matter what way he looked at it, nothing made sense. Was he actually a bad singer? Logically that did not make any sense, as they were all aspects of Thomas, therefore they should all share similar singing capabilities.
On the other hand, Roman knew more about singing than Logan. Sure, Logan could read notes, teach you about music theory, and music history, but objectively he was not sure about what exactly sounded appealing. Therefore, it is possible that Roman was telling the truth, maybe Logan’s voice sounded better to his own ears.
Logan vowed then that he would never sing on camera or in front of others again. The last thing he wanted to do was make the fans hate him more or cause Virgil to work overtime due to him embarrassing Thomas.
Obviously, he could still sing for fun in the comfort of his own room, there was no harm in that but singing for public consumption would be strictly prohibited.
It had been a couple months since Logan made this promise to himself. It was easy to avoid breaking said promise, until one day when they had to film the Q & A. Everything was going great until some fan asked what their favorite Disney movie was and for them to sing something from it. This ask was obviously just a ploy to get to hear Thomas’ great voice more or to impress Roman.
Logan couldn’t help but be nervous. All he could think about was Roman’s face combined with not wanting to embarrass Thomas was all he needed to execute his plan to avoid singing. Of course, the fans already knew he was nerdy so it would surprise no one that he would use his love of poetry to express his favorite song, he figured many of the fans had long since forgotten his horrible singing.
This promise could never be that simple though. Patton just had to start singing “All Star,” it was nearly impossible to not sing along to, nearly. Logan decided to go with the joke but to keep his promise and hopefully add some more humor to his character he decided to sound more robotic. It was common knowledge to the fans that Logan hated feelings, therefore, him singing in a robotic tone only added to the joke.
After that video, Logan returned to his room. It was inevitable that he would likely be put on the spot again and be forced to sing, he would have to come up with a different tactic. Then it dawned on him, he had a love of poetry and rapping was basically poetry set to a beat, maybe he could learn to rap.
This idea provided some comfort for Logan knew that Roman was not capable of rapping. He had stumbled on Roman trying to sing along to the Hamilton soundtrack and failing miserably. The words were too fast and Roman would get tongue-tied, then become too frustrated to continue then eventually give up. This idea was perfect! Roman would be incapable of poking fun at or ridiculing Logan’s rapping. Although if he did Logan could logically think that the anger and comments Roman could say could be due to jealousy.
Logan practiced rhyming with a thesaurus in hand, while rapping proved to be much more difficult than he once thought it was still worth it to be able to express himself without Roman being able to tear him down. Logan also practiced keeping the beat and different speeds by using the Hamilton soundtrack, but only when he was certain no one was around.
Then the day came when Logan was able to show off his newly acquired skill. Thomas’ next video was about originality and while a “rap battle” was not 100% original it was certainly different for this series. Logan was not the least bit surprised when Roman chose him as his dueling partner, it was difficult to hide the smirk that grew from knowing he would win.
Roman’s rapping was not bad, but it also was not on par with Logan’s skills. Roman had obviously been practicing and was relishing in the moment where he could make a fool out of Logan, but the logical side was not going to stand there and take it.
Logan’s vocabulary alone was enough to have beaten Roman, but that combined with the beat and the hand gestures definitely put him in his place. He was not going to brag or tell Roman that it would be better if he did not rap. It was enough knowing that the others, Thomas, and his fans all knew that he was better at something creative than Mr. Creative himself.
Roman’s POV
When had the nerd learned to rap? Even Thomas wasn’t that great at rapping. How had logic learned it and made it seem so effortless? There were not a lot of things that got under Roman’s skin but being outdone at something creative was one of his greatest fears and pet peeves.
He learned his lesson that day. He would never challenge Logan to a rap battle at least not before he was able to perfect the art himself. The nerd had made a fool of him, and he would pay dearly. Eventually, he would be able to convince Thomas to once again do singing as a bit, and then he would have his revenge. The robotic tone would not save him for an entire song.
From then on Roman made it his mission to convince Thomas to do another video in which they sing. While Logan made it his mission to avoid having to sing on camera at all costs. He never wanted to bring Roman more pain or make him insecure, he just wanted to show off his new skill.
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