#self-improvemnt

[bloginspiringilango]

[breakingbadhabitsnow]

The reason for starting this blog is simple

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired and not feeling like I’m in charge of my life. I’ve recently come across the idea that we are just creature of habits and what we are today is a direct result of our dialy repeated actions. I have big dreams that I am going to achieve, and establishing good habits will be a stepping stone to success. I will be taking one thing at a time and start small, as that is the best method, after many trails and errors. I would also like to stress that it is equallly important to praise yourself for every litte improvment you make, something I haven’t been that good at doing but am hoping to improve. Here’s to this simple bloggy thing that will hopefully amount to something great in the long run.

[alciavikkander]

got sent a message today from someone i used to be friends with in regards to how our friendship just suddenly ended. my original message to her was to explain why i just walked away and how, yes, i did miss them. i knew that in the long run our friendship wouldn't be mended, and i was fine with that. she tells me that the things i did before walking away from our friendship were two-faced and fake, and i won't deny that everyone in anyone relationship has done something two-faced and fake at one point or another. but i guess having it thrown in my face was a little disconcerting. 

at the time, i thought walking away was the right thing to do, because i knew that i didn't want to talk about it or i would've gotten extremely angry and lashed out. hell, i still think it was the right thing to do, but i guess i started feeling guilty and thought sending a message clarifying my actions would be the right thing. 

it sucks, i guess, because looking back on all my failed friendships, it's always been me walking away and thinking i was doing the right thing. was i two-faced and fake then? i didn't think so, but i could be wrong. i thought i was getting better in between the failed ones, i don't know. 

in a way, i think she's also fake and two-faced, but i did not feel the need to say that too her because i felt that it would not have been right throwing my opinion of someone's personality in their face like that (especially given that she was once my friend).  having someone's opinion of you thrown at you when you thought you were different is always hard, but i'll have to take it like a grown up. 

while i believe that most of time you're the only person you can trust or count on is yourself, being able to share life's journeys with friends and significant others is also truly important. 

so, here's to the start of my better-me self-improvement "program." taking it one day at a time.