#self-reflective asks

[josai]

Waxing and sunset tbh I think sunset is the saddest of these questions and waxing is the most positive one. You are brave to ask for these I don't think I could answer most of them!

waxing: what is your proudest accomplishment? 

Probably that I put myself through school working a lot of crappy jobs and taking out student loans, graduated with honours and then paid off my loans by the goal that I set myself (two years after graduation!) I actually just finished paying them off about a month ago... I don’t think it’s truly sunk in yet! But I wanted to be able to move forward without all this debt hanging over me, and it really feels great.

sunset: who is someone you thought would be in your life forever, but you no longer talk to?

My best friend growing up... funny how perspectives change as you grow up, and people change. It was probably for the best, but still seems strange to think of all these memories and moments we shared growing up, and how close we were whenever I see her now because we’re basically strangers.

late-night self-reflective asks

[khas-lana]

Waxing, earth :)

waxing: what is your proudest accomplishment?

I don’t honestly know. These days I’m proud of myself for just waking up and doing at least half of my to do list instead of vegetating on the couch and wasting away on this god forsaken website. But I digress…

Probably graduating with my Masters degree. Despite it being the reason I can’t get a job (unless I move out of state and that simply isn’t an option for me), I’m extremely proud of myself for doing it in the first place. I’m officially have a high education than most people in my family, and while I don’t toot my horn about it (because let’s be real; I’m still a fucking moron), it’s nice to know that my creativity got me a Master degree and a 3.6 GPA at graduation. 

On a smaller scale, I’m pretty fucking proud of myself for putting away my laundry. 

earth: where do you feel most at home?

In bed. 

That’s tough. I’ve always been something of a wanderer. I don’t like to settle in one place for too long. I like changes of scenery. I’m a firm believer in home is where the heart is. My heart is with my close friends and family. It’s all about the company you keep, not the location. It’s a work of heart and a state a mind. 

late night self-reflective asks

[josai]

Ohh what about soothe: what's one thing that always makes you feel better when you're upset? and contemplation: if you could wake up one morning and everything in your life was perfect, what would that look like? Yes, intense questions :D

soothe: what’s one thing that always makes you feel better when you’re upset?

Music!! I feel like this always helps me, regardless of the reason for why I am upset. Plugging in my headset and either flopping in bed with the lights off and the blinds closed and just focus on nothing other than the music. Or if I need to talk, first starting out with some songs I like to help calm myself down and gather my thoughts and feelings into words before I try to explain them to someone is really helpful!

contemplation: if you could wake up one morning and everything in your life was perfect, what would that look like?

Wow Amalas you are having me dig deep here for this one!! Damn. Okay, well.I feel like for me it wouldn’t be anything complex. But waking up and feeling happy. Content. Not feeling rushed, not waking up and thinking of all the things I didn’t do, didn’t say, didn’t accomplish the previous day - waking up and feeling ready to face the day, whatever it might bring, to do my best and put forth another day at working towards my goals… I can’t say for sure what it would look like concretely other than those feelings but that’s what I’d like to hope for some day!!

late-night self-reflective asks

[josai]

the last 4!! ⭐️

<3

shooting star: who is someone you trust to help you make the right decisions?

My mom (/)///(/) doesn’t matter how old I get lol

earth: where do you feel most at home?

Around people that I care about. With my friends, and family - I feel the physical location is less important, but I’ll always feel at home in my parents house where I grew up!

soothe: what's one thing that always makes you feel better when you're upset?

Answered here!

slumber: what's one thing that helps you fall asleep when it feels impossible?

Answered here!

late-night self-reflective asks

[josai]

Galaxies and constellations for the ask thingy, please~ (I would ask off-anon, but I'm super awkward and shy!)

Aww, thank you!! I promise I’m not scary, I’m more awkward than I come off lmao but anon asks are good too!

galaxies: what are three things you want to do before you die?

I want to travel more, see more countries as well as more of my own country (I’m working on this one!!), finally finish writing one of my original stories and learn as much as I can about everything available to me? We’re living in the age of information, it’s all a keystroke away and I feel I don’t take advantage of it as I should. Learn something new from everyone I meet and share what I know.

constellations: who is someone you could talk to for hours and never stop?

I’d say there’s maybe... I dunno, three or so close friends I can do this with? I pretty much do this with one of my close friends most days haha. We just talk anything and everything - I have a bad habit of rather than hanging up a call, I just fall asleep while talking to him lmao. Although if I’m being honest, it isn’t always talking. I’m not an extremely talkative person? I’m more awkward than I lead on (I have learned to hide it as a form of self-preservation) (/)///(/) so sometimes it’s just like.. more chill and calm conversation? Not always super quick fast-paced replies, but silences are nice, sometimes just sharing a space, bringing things up every now and again as they’re relevant. I don’t think I could literally talk to someone for hours unless they’re a more talkative person than I am, and are good at leading a conversation.

late-night self-reflective asks

[josai]

11-11

11-11: what's something you want, but feel like you will never have?

Answered here! Thank you for asking <3

late-night self-reflective asks

[josai]

11-11 and full moon :)

11-11: what's something you want, but feel like you will never have?

Enough free time to do the things that I want to do freely. Have time to write, create, game, spend time with friends and family, travel, learn, share... enjoy my life. With my career path, I don’t think it’s quite possible, but I would like to have this someday if I can!

full moon: what type of person do you hope to be?

Answered this one here!

late-night self-reflective asks

[josai]

Alright thennnnnn, which ones seem most difficult hmmm. Nightmare, reflection and sweet dreams. How about bonus nightlight?

nightmare: what are you most afraid of?

Failure. In my professional life, my personal life - ending up with regrets.

reflection: have you ever changed something you liked about yourself to satisfy someone else?

I’ve tried to before, sure, when I was younger, but it never sticks. I honestly am the worst at keeping my mouth shut and pretending to be someone that I’m not lol, I remember even as a kid being very “yeah lol no” when someone in my class told me that I had to do certain things if I wanted to be their friend. I’m just not about that life :’) if I need to, I’d be happier by myself than trying to be someone I’m not. I’ve accepted that I’m a weirdo lmao

sweet dreams: are you happy?

Overall? Mh… I think I’m getting there. It’s a work in progress figuring this one out!

night light: who/what makes you feel safe?

Answered this one here!

late-night self-reflective asks