I have got to stop giving mental resources to family who don't really care for the ME that I am. I'm tired of being nothing more than this vague concept or placeholder for them. The most draining and least productive "conversations" I have are with family who ask about me only so I can fill the empty space when they take a breath or search for something else to talk about that actually interests them. I can be a sympathetic ear only so many times before I need to retreat to cleanse my brain. Everyone needs to vent, ideally to someone who actually LISTENS and cares. I get so tired of being the only one to bring that to the table. This is why I get quiet and stop communicating for a while. But they don't notice or care. By the time they start to wonder why they haven't heard from me (or, rather, had me to talk at), I've moved on to try to find a tiny slice of inner peace. It eludes me a lot, especially with the "downpour" the Universe is currently hurling at me (that I'm NOT sharing with said family because I've learned that they don't care).
I'm tired, so tired. Family is more exhausting than strangers for this flaming introvert.