#selflovediet

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Dear Universe

This morning I wake up with sunshine in my mind, even if it is cloudy and grey outside. I walk through the day knowing that I am in control of my reaction to everything. Healthy food and plenty of …

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Love Would Choose to Relax

I read this prompt after finishing the last thing on my to-do list for the day. I read the question, “What would love do in this moment?” and closed my eyes. My answer was to take a deep breath and…

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Day 9: Allow yourself to feel

The one emotion I have always had the hardest time with is anger.  I have done a lot of work over the years on allowing myself to be angry.  It started when I was in therapy about 7 years ago and my therapist noticed that I never said I was angry about anything.  We talked about why I was denying myself the right to be angry.  It was rooted in my childhood experiences with anger.  It was painful talking about those parts of my childhood.  About how when I was very little, my father was always angry and when he was angry, he hit my mother.  And about how after my parents’ divorce, my mother would hit me when she was angry.  Talking about these things made me realize that I had formed a core truth that anger hurts people so I had decided to never be angry.  I didn’t trust myself to be angry.  I thought that if I allowed myself to be angry, I would hurt someone.  Slowly I learned to let myself feel angry and trust that I can control my behavior.  It still isn’t easy or feel natural to be angry, but I’ve gotten better at it.  

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Day 8: Fostering Gratitude

One: Before You Get Out of the Bed in the Morning, Focus on One Thing You’re Grateful For

This morning I thought about how lucky I am that I have my fiance.  She is always there for me in whatever ways she can be.  She loves me no matter what happens or what I say or do.  I am truly grateful that she is part of my life.

Two: Create a Gratitude Jar

I have not done this yet, but I’m going to.

Three: Participate in the Online Gratitude Jar

I submitted my gratitude about my fiance this morning.

Four: Start a Gratitude Journal

Each day, a few times a week, or once a week, choose one thing you are grateful for, and then write down five reasons, experiences, or examples of why you’re grateful for it. The more detailed you get into each reason, the more the gratitude will resonate with you. - I’m going to start a gratitude journal this week, using the five-minute journal method.

Five: The Five-Minute Journal

In the morning, write down:

3 things I’m grateful for

3 things that would make today great

​2 daily affirmations (For example, I am great because….)

Before you go to bed, write down:

​3 amazing things that happened today

​2 ways I could have made today better

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Day 7: Identify your feelings using HALT

When you are aware of an emotion, ask yourself: What is this feeling? The acronym HALT can be used to help discern your emotions.

H = Are you hurt? If you are hungry, is it physical or emotional? A = Are you angry? Are you anxious? L = Are you lonely? T = Are you tired?

Last night my sister was texting me about the problems she’s having.  After we hung up, I used this to figure out exactly what I was feeling.

H= Was I hurt or hungry, physically or emotionally?  I did feel hurt emotionally.  It’s difficult to talk to my sister sometimes because no matter what you say to her, she has a negative answer for it and if you tell her you don’t know what she wants you to say, she’ll stop talking to you.  That’s exactly how our conversation went last night.

A= Was I angry or anxious?  I was both.  I was angry that my sister wasn’t listening to me.  She asked for my advice and I tried to give her what I thought was the best advice I could, and she just kept shooting down everything I said.  I was also angry that she would choose her boyfriend over her daughter.  I was anxious (bordering on a panic attack) because I’m afraid that she is going to become homeless.

L= Was I lonely?  No.  I didn’t feel lonely.

T= Was I tired? Well, I’m always tired, both physically and emotionally.  I felt physically tired because it was close to bedtime and because I have depression and have been ill for a few days now.  I felt emotionally tired because I felt like I’d run through every emotion possible and my sister, despite asking for my advice, was just pushing me away.  

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Day 6: A list of self-love actions

Compile a list of self-love actions and do one of them today.

1. Take a bubble bath

2. Spend some time outside

3. Read a book for fun

4. Listen to uplifting music

5. Talk/laugh with someone I love

6. Take a nap (especially if I haven’t slept well the night before)

7. Give myself permission to say “no” if I don’t want to do something or don’t feel up to it

8. Go for a walk

9. Write a list of things I’m grateful for

10. Make time to play (video games, coloring books, playdoh, sports...)

I’ve done 2 of these today.  I’m going to make a much longer list and tuck it in a book somewhere for bad days.

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Day 5: Change Your Critical Thought Patterns

Catch the Thought

I don’t matter and what I want doesn’t matter.

Confront the Thought

Why do I feel like what I want doesn’t matter? Why do I feel like I don’t matter?

Replace the Thought

What I want matters.  I matter!  I matter because I’m a human being and my life has worth.

Apologize to Yourself

I’m sorry for thinking that I don’t matter.

Commit to Change

Every time I find myself thinking that I don’t matter or acting like I don’t matter, I will confront those thoughts, replace them, and apologize to myself.  I will keep doing this until I believe that I matter.

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Day 4: A letter to my body

Dear Body,

I spend so much time and energy thinking about what you are not that I forget to be grateful for what you are.  Thank you for continuing to be healthy and strong.  I’m grateful for your strong healthy muscles and for your healthy heart and lungs that allow me to take long walks, go hiking, ride my bike, roller skate, and do all the other physical things I like to do.  I’m grateful that I have two healthy eyes that allow me to see beautiful things.  I’m grateful that I have decent hearing that allows me to hear the voices of those I love and hear the music that feeds my soul.  I’m grateful that I have a sense of smell that allows me to enjoy spring rains, perfume, and the smell of delicious food cooking.  I’m grateful for my sense of taste that allows me to enjoy my meals.  Most of all, my dear body, I am grateful that you have survived everything that we have been through.  It hasn’t been an easy road and I’ve treated you badly, but you continue to be strong and healthy.  I love you for that.

Love,

Me