I have spent the last several years struggling, and since I left Santa Fe, New Mexico in 2015 it has been no one’s fault but my own. During this struggle I have made many little attempts to come out of it and although there may have been pockets of clarity and happiness, I haven’t been strong enough to mainta
During these pockets of clarity I have been able to make several revelations about my life and my choices, and one of them was that I have pushed a lot of people away without realizing simply because I was telling myself that I would have time for “that” after I accomplished this or I accomplished that, I told myself that I needed to do this first and then I can open myself up to that/them. And that mindset being at the foundation of many of choices over the last two decades has strained friendships, limited other friendships, and paired with other things: stress, doubt, uncertainty—in myself, mostly I have been judgmental and just angry.
