The weight of a decapitated head felt like the weight of an entire world. Heavy in his not nearly as strong as they should have been hands, as though God himself placed weights there and told him to keep holding them up. Blood dribbled and gradually dried up in his palms, slowly creating a paste to glue his hands to the head.
It wasn't how he'd wanted to see his best bro's face for the first time, hell, he doubted it was how anyone wanted to see their best friend at all. Jaw slack, blood everywhere, eyes rolled back behind shades with glowing red dots, and a warmth rapidly fading. Having his friend's copycat, his mimicker, messaging him as he stared at the gore in his hands only added to the horror.
Kiss me, Jake.
Hurry up.
Do it, or he'll die.
Kiss him?
Kiss... Dirk?
It wasn't Dirk anymore.
It was a head. A dead thing cradled precariously in his hands, gluing itself to him, eager to meld with him. It felt like the lava from the volcano was boiling the sticky mess, further latching the head to him.
Kiss me, Jake.
Kiss me or I'll die.
A shudder ran up his spine, fear and frustration swirling and clawing at his gut and throat.
What had happened?
Why had this head fallen into his hands?
He shuddered to think, no, to realize what Dirk must have done to get his head to Jake.
The mental image of a red box sliding over this very head.
A beep.
Then the slice.
The sendificator did its job. It sent Dirk's decapitated head to him. Now he was faced with his swirling, complicated emotions while mentally panicking. Did he really need to kiss this thing? Would Dirk truly die if he didn't?
Yes, Jake.
You need to kiss me.
Hurry up, or he's dead.
The stupid AR, the copier, the... The fake! It wouldn't stop. It kept hounding him and hounding him to kiss Dirk, to kiss It.
In a moment of frustration and shouted a confirmation, an acceptance of this horrific task, and smashed his lips against the cooling, sticky lips of the dead Dirk. The volcano erupted, debris fell all around him, the world on its last leg, dying with a painful rattle. But that didn't matter right then, he couldn't focus on that at all. The only thing he noticed was the slackness of the lips against his, the way the blood stuck to his own chapped lips...
And, oh God...
He could taste it.
The metallic tang of copper, mixing with the flavor of old Fanta and teeth that had gone unbrushed that day.
All he could feel was the gore hanging from the head. The esophagus dangling down, the bits of spinal collum left inside the neck...
When he finally broke away, a trail of sticky red linked his mouth to the head's, leaving a horrible feeling in his gut.
Then he heard it.
A cough.
He turned sharply to his right to find...
Dirk?
Oh and Roxy and Jane!
But Dirk was there... Alive.
And...
Oh God.
He dropped the head, flailing in panic.
Dirk!
Dirk was alive!
And...!
Oh no.
Dirk had seen him macking on the head. Dirk's head.
Jake frantically wiped his mouth, scurrying away from the head.
"Nice one, English."
Dirk's voice was so dry... Soothing in a way, but very dry. Monotone, maybe. Bored, perhaps.
Jake looked over at Dirk and stared then sputtered, gesturing at the discarded head. "Was that really necessary?!" he screeched. "Did I really need to do that?!"
Dirk's expression was unchanged. He stood still as a board, blank as a sheet of paper. But he nodded. "Yes," he said. "And I appreciate you being timely about it. I'm sure there's a timeline somewhere out there where you utterly failed to give me that sweet sweet smooch and I died right in front of your sensitive little eyes. I appreciate you keeping me alive, Jake. Truly."
Jake felt a mix of emotions as he watched Dirk wander off towards his own head. He was elated to meet his best buddy in person, he was excited to see the man he'd been, he guessed, infatuated with for so long. Yet, there was confusion and maybe disgust? Who starts a relationship by making your crush kiss your decapitated head, even if it was necessary? And Dirk's way of speaking was just as robotic and stilted in person as it was over message.
Then again, Jake didn't exactly have references for dating outside his movies and the Internet. What did he know.
He smiled as Jane and Roxy hurried to say hello to him, eager to chat. He smiled softly, watching Dirk, still grappling with what was his first kiss.
A gorefest was not exactly ideal for kisses and beginning relationships.
Hopefully things would only go up from here.
