my lil cosmic journal
Finding Safety in the Stars ~ A Journey of Vulnerability and Astrology ~ As an astrologer and private soul, I’ve always found solace in the cosmos—astrology is the map that’s guided my inner work and often my most difficult conversations with self. Sharing my journey is something I’ve been holding close, almost like an astrological diary, where I record these moments of self-discovery tied to my natal placements and current transits. This piece is a step toward letting others witness that journey.
I recently met with a long-time client, someone who’s trusted me with their own path. I’m deeply grateful for my clients—they remind me why I keep showing up, even as I struggle to share parts of my own life. I feel the call to put my face out there and speak my own story, to stay disciplined in this practice, all while confronting my Scorpio Moon and 12th house Jupiter that would really prefer I stay quiet and out of the limelight. Fame? Not quite. Success in my passions? Absolutely.
But the truth is, no success—no healing—comes without risk, and lately, my Chiron in Virgo in the 10th house has been reminding me just how raw that can feel. There’s a fear of being “wrong,” of coming off uninformed or imperfect, a fear that guts me deeply. Still, I know the work must be done, the healing shared, the words offered, even if I’m afraid.
A Moment of Truth with Myself
Recently, I shared something deeply vulnerable with my partner. It wasn’t easy—in fact, it was gut-wrenching to lay out my own beliefs and biases, the ways I’ve held myself back socially and professionally, the goals I’ve avoided because I couldn’t shake certain ideologies about myself. I shared how painful it feels to carry that perception of who I am, that reality of self that I often want to hide. It was raw, uncomfortable, and yes, a bit cringy, but it was also one of the most beautiful, relieving exhalations of my life.
My partner listened, and in doing so, held pieces of me I didn’t want to hold myself. I hadn’t allowed myself to be held like that in a long time. I realized, too, that once I decided to let him in, there was no going back. Sharing this meant I couldn’t continue in my usual ways—I needed to be honest and open to the love he’s shown me, even when it’s difficult. He’s told me I’m an excellent defender of myself, but sometimes I defend so well that I close myself off even from him. That was before, though, and now I feel a shift.
Pluto’s Shift: A Catalyst for Releasing Old Beliefs With Pluto moving from Capricorn in my 2nd house to Aquarius in my 3rd, my inner structures—my definitions of safety and openness—are shifting daily. I find myself challenged by my own mind, by the beliefs and fears that don’t align with the evolving love I want to cultivate. It’s been a tough journey of breaking down the walls within, facing uncomfortable truths, but those moments are balanced by an overwhelming catharsis. I’m witnessing my own evolution, the melting of old fears, and the welcoming of a new kind of safety—one rooted in honesty, shared vulnerability, and, ultimately, growth.
So, here I am, offering this piece of my journey as a reminder to those who feel the same resistance: our paths may be challenging, but they’re also woven with deep beauty and meaning. Through each conversation, each honest exchange, we’re reminded that while we may be our own mountains to climb, we’re also fully capable of reaching those peaks.
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