seen from Türkiye
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does it make you emotional to know that when hudcon finished filming heated rivalry they thought they would be going back to their old jobs but now they’re presenting at golden globes and being torch bearers? or is it just me? 😭🥹 my precious babies deserves everything and more
La petite princesse à son papa
My boy. My special little boy. I wasn’t expecting this to be my first post. I wasn’t really expecting to be writing a new blog.
Elliot doesn’t like his hands touched, which means he doesn’t like holding hands. As silly as it may seem my heart does break a little knowing my last baby won’t want to hold my hand.
I’m not sure if this hand thing is related to him being autistic, but it was a question we were asked during his evaluation. Although it makes me sad, I try to remember that even though he doesn’t let me hold his hand he still crawls up in my lap so I can give him belly and back tickles. Usually when he’s first waking or ready for bed or when he’s sick.
I don’t ever want to take belly and back tickles for granted. I can’t hold his hand but I can give him comfort and bond this way.
This is a jumble of thought and not well written. Just something that I’ve been wanting to do and finally got around to having a little snip of.
It’s amazing, despite the experience, how many people you meet in life, how many people become a part of it, whether it’s in the past or present, and how many more have yet to be a part in the future ✨I love thinking back to past memories, those that stick in my mind, those that I can’t help but smile when I think about, wanting to go back and live it all over again ✨So don’t forget to enjoy life, meet all those who come your way, and make the most of it ✨ Make memories with those around you, because I’m sure you’ll be happy to remember them all one day, and be proud of the life you lived ✨
sometimes, i do believe that i deserve naps but the world is such a sleepless place especially for science. it’s too fast-paced and sometimes, it makes me less of a human even when i do work for human.
in times like these, where i watch people wake up as a sleepless being, sometimes i think sleep is both a privilege and consequence. you see, i love my degree, i love research too, i love human-work, i love the fact that we became translational in between human and modernity— but you see, i’ve compromised more things than imagined. i get sad for some stuff, sometimes it also makes you feel lonely, but for something really basic like sleep? damn, that gets sadder than i initially felt.
honestly, i’m conditioned for these things to happen quite frequently but sometimes, i wann feel a little more human than yesterday.
will I ever feel at peace? Safe to be unapologetically me? Will I ever feel free to fully be in my own space, without having to worry about catering to others? Will I ever be free to be openly emotional, sensitive, soft, as clueless and distracted as I can be? Can I ever just lay down to take a nap when I feel tired & in need of rest without someone expecting me to cater to their time & deadlines? Will I ever be me & will I ever fully experience myself?
i think i like it a little more when it rains... because rain justifies inconveniences for me.
late for a meeting? oh, it was raining. had to wait it out.
underdressed for an occasion? oh, it was raining, so i didn't want to ruin a proper outfit.
looking sad? oh, it's just raining. the weather's all gloomy.
rain is such a vulnerable matter because it shows that it's not always sunshine and rainbows out here. i think about rain a lot, and i wonder when it will come around again.
I'm feeling super sentimental but like- I want to be the kind of spouse that does thoughtful things just because I want the person I love to know how much they mean to me.
I want to chop fruit and make breakfast, and fold laundry, and take clean mugs out of the sink to be set in shelves so I can watch you drink from them- everything will be full of love because I am full of love- I will be warmth and nourishment and familiarity if only to know you don't go to bed with an empty stomach. and then, I'll be yours and only yours- to have and hold and fuck as much as we want and that is how we will spent our eternity
......in a haze of bliss and serenity
