I Could Never Love Another
Pairing: Ser Duncan The Tall X fem!Reader
Summary: After falling mysteriously ill on the road, you struggle to hide your worsening condition as Dunk and Egg grow increasingly worried. As your fate becomes uncertain, fear and unspoken feelings become harder to ignore, forcing Dunk to confront what really matters before it’s too late.
Warnings: Sick fic, mutual pining, friends to lovers, a little cursing, mentions of reader being sick (coughing, sneezing, etc), 1 use of y/n, crying, cuddling and kissing.
Word Count: 3.1K
a/n: can y’all tell i love writing sick fics? lol
read on ao3
the gif below does not belong to me
This morning just a few days after you, Dunk and Egg had started your journey to Dorne following the Ashford tourney, you awoke with an achy feeling that had settled in your bones, the inability to breathe clearly through your nose and your body covered in a thin layer of sweat. You felt absolutely awful, all you wanted to do was lay here beneath the tall oak tree you’d set up camp under until you felt better. But you had to admit, this sickness didn’t feel like any other cold you’d had before, it felt worse and made you question if there was an end in sight.
Still, you didn’t want to make Dunk or Egg worry so you continued on with your day as if nothing was wrong and pushed through how horrible you felt. And as you regrouped under the tree during midday for lunch, you noticed that Dunk’s eyes refused to leave you, as if he thought you’d disappear the second he looked away. “You’re staring.” you commented with the quietest sniffle you could manage, peering at him over the bowl filled with soup in your hands.
He frowned a little and set his own bowl down, “Are you feelin’ alright, m’lady? You look paler than usual,” he replied and pressed the back of his hand to your forehead. “Gods, you’re burning up.” Fuck. He had noticed.
As much as you loved Dunk,–unbeknownst to him–now that he knew you were sick, you knew he wasn’t going to stop worrying until you were well again. You hated when people worried about you, you just wanted things to go back to normal.
You slowly opened your mouth but when you tried to speak, cough after cough suddenly exited your mouth, you could barely breathe. In a moment of pure panic, Dunk’s eyes widened and he stared at you like a deer stood before an arrow just before it’s killed. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he just sat there staring at you frozen in place. “Can’t breathe, help.” you got out in between coughs, prompting him to grab his flask from where it rested against his thigh and hand it to you, supporting your hand as you gulped down the water.
Egg watched in horror while all of this went on, feeling absolutely terrified. You were the first mother figure he'd had in years and he was worried that just like his actual mother, you’d leave him too because of this sickness. “I don’t feel so good.” you quietly said, interrupting his thoughts, and in the blink of an eye, consciousness was ripped from your body and you fell back onto the grass, the bowl of soup in your hands falling onto the ground.
Dunk wasn’t going to just let himself freeze up again so before a minute had the chance to pass after you’d fainted, he scooped your body up into his arms and placed you on your bedroll, his heart pounding. He grabbed a cloth and wet it using the cold water left in the flask then draped it over your forehead, hoping that’d help get rid of the warm temperature that’d taken over your body.
Truth be told, he didn’t know much about any sort of illness but he desperately hoped that a few hours of rest would help. He couldn’t bear the idea of losing you, especially before he got the confidence to tell you he was in love with you.
He watched as Egg walked over to you and began to sit next to you, “Let her rest, Egg. We’ll wake her in a few hours.” he told the small boy, but still Egg didn’t leave your side and Dunk found himself wanting to stay glued to your side as well. He never wanted to take his eyes off of you again.
—-----------------------------------
When you woke up again in the late afternoon, your eyes slowly opened in the midst of some conversation Dunk and Egg were having a few feet away from you. “I don’t know what to do, Egg. I can’t afford to pay a Maester and I worry that she’ll die.” he admitted, being more honest with Egg than he’d ever been.
You could practically hear the frown in Egg’s voice, “Maybe we could take her to Storm’s End and ask Lord Baratheon to help? I don’t think it’s that far from here.” he suggested, looking up at Dunk from where they sat next to each other.
Dunk nodded, “Maybe, but I don’t know how welcoming Lyonel would be after I declined his offer.” he replied, causing the two of them to sit in silence for a few moments.
Egg sighed, “Well, it’s worth a try, Ser. We can’t just sit here and watch her die.” he said, showing you how mature and logical he was again and again despite his age.
With this decision set in stone, Dunk rose from the log he was sitting on and went to check on you with Egg in tow. He kneeled beside you and gently brushed some of your hair out of your face, happy to see you awake again. “How’re you feelin’?” he asked and you slowly sat up, sneezing while your body moved.
You took a deep breath in, a frightening wheezing sound leaving your mouth, “Awful, weak. We need to find a Maester.” you said, pretending you hadn’t just eavesdropped on their conversation.
His thumb softly stroked your sweaty cheek, “We’re taking you to Storm’s End. Do you think you can get up on your own?” he told you, a look of pure fear and worry permanently etched into his features.
You nodded, “I’ll be fine, stop your worrying you two.” you replied and slowly started to rise from your bedroll, but no matter how hard you tried to get back onto your feet, it was no use. Your body was simply too weak and you fell into a kneeling position.
Dunk frowned and picked you up once more, “Just rest, sweet girl. You’ll be well again soon.” he quietly promised, helping you onto Thunder’s back while Egg started to clean up the camp.
“Alright.” you whispered, letting unconsciousness take over your body once more as Dunk got on behind you, holding your body close to his and never daring to let you fall.
—-----------------------------------
As soon as the three of you made it to Storm’s End just after nightfall and Dunk had stated your business for being here, he quickly carried your still unconscious body to where he assumed Lyonel would be, The Great Hall, causing Egg to have to run to keep up. The second his eyes landed on the man sitting almost entirely alone in the large room, he walked up to the long table he sat behind, “Gods, what did you do to her, Dunk?” he said, his eyes widened with concern at the sight of your sickly looking body.
“Lyonel, I need your help. I have no one else to turn to. I’ll become one of your knights, I swear it. Please, just help her, I beg of you. I can’t lose her.” he rapidly said, almost too quickly to understand.
Normally a loud man, Lyonel had become quiet as a result of Dunk’s plea, he barely knew you and yet he felt the need to do something, for Dunk’s sake. “Of course, stay here as long as you need. I’ll summon the Maester at once.” he said before he motioned for one of his guards to show Dunk and Egg the way to one of the many rooms in the castle.
Once they arrived, Egg quickly pulled back the blankets and Dunk softly sat on you on the bed, worrying that he’d accidentally break one of your bones if he was any rougher. He sat on your bedside, holding your hand while Egg pulled a chair up to the bed, impatiently waiting in silence for the Maester to arrive.
And the second that the old man did, Dunk immediately stood up and faced him, “What seems to be the problem, Ser?” he asked, crossing the room to get closer to you, craning his neck back so that his eyes could meet Dunk’s.
Dunk frowned, “She woke up feeling ill this morning and by midday, she fainted. She’s become too weak to stand on her own and is unable to stop coughing and sneezing when she’s awake.” he made known, prompting the Maester to examine you himself.
A frown of his own rolled out across the Maester’s lips when he completed the exam, “Oh, dear. My apologies, Ser but it seems that she has a virus that’s going around at the moment by the name of the spring sickness.” he informed Dunk and Egg.
Dunk’s shoulders relaxed a little at this, assuming an illness with a name like that would be harmless and easy to get rid of. “Is it serious? How long will it take until she is well again?” he asked.
The Maester slightly bowed his head, “I’m afraid many people have already died because of it, but I assure you that I will do everything I can to make her better again.” he says, causing Dunk’s heart to sink. You could die?
The world seemed to blur around Dunk as the old man concocted some sort of mixture of herbs for you and left the room after he’d instructed Egg to give it to you once you woke up. He felt like the Gods were playing some sort of cruel trick on him. Every person he’d ever loved has been taken away from him and now you were too. And if you did love him back, he hated the fact that he’d never get to marry you, he’d never get to have children with you and he’d never get to grow old by your side because of this illness. So many years he could’ve spent with you are suddenly being ripped out of his hands, saddening him beyond words.
And if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know how he was possibly going to live in a world where you weren’t alive. He’d be completely miserable without you in his life and willing to die after you if that meant he could be with you forever in whatever the Gods had in store for the two of you after death, as dramatic as that sounded.
—-----------------------------------
Ever since you’d arrived at Storm’s End four evenings ago, you’d started to feel a little better but tonight–seemingly out of nowhere–all of your symptoms became much more intense and you felt more sick than you ever thought possible. You felt like your body was shutting down and no matter what concoction the Maester gave you, you just kept getting worse.
And in your eyes, you could tell that this had confirmed Dunk’s worries that you were going to leave him too, just like how Rafe and Ser Arlan had. All he ever did now was sit next to you and cry while he held your hand, even though he’d been warned not to touch you because he could get sick too. But he stayed by your side anyway.
You wanted to tell him that you loved him before it was too late but just as you opened your mouth, the sight of what Dunk was doing stopped you. While in the chair he was sitting in that Egg had pulled up to your bed days ago, he had his hands clasped together and pressed to his forehead, his elbows resting on the mattress. He hadn’t prayed in years and barely remembered how to but he’d lost all hope that you were going to get better and he desperately needed to do whatever he could to ensure that you stayed alive.
He sniffled and wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his tunic, “Dear Mother, I beg of you make (y/n) well again, please. I cannot bear the idea of living without her, I cannot lose another person I love. Please, do not take her away from me. Give her another chance and I will become your most devout follower, I swear it. Amen.” he murmured, almost too quietly for you to hear. But little did he know, you heard every word. He actually loved you, it didn’t feel real. But at the same time, after hearing this admission, it didn’t feel right to admit your feelings just yet, especially because he didn’t know you were listening. So you stayed quiet, for now.
When he raised his head, you weakly cupped his face in your hand and wiped his tears away, prompting him to lean into your touch as if he was memorizing it. “Stop worrying, Dunk. I’ll be alright again soon, I promise.” you quietly said, your voice hoarse from all the coughing you’d been doing.
He nodded, “Okay.” he replied, not knowing what else to say in this moment.
Seconds later, Egg entered the room, you assumed he’d been here just as much as Dunk was but he was always gone when you woke up as if it scared him to see you like this. He slowly approached your bedside, deeply frowning, making your chest ache. You hated seeing him so sad. “Ser, maybe you should eat something. I’ll watch over her while you’re gone.” Egg suggested and Dunk nodded again.
While he did want to stay by your side, he hadn’t eaten since the morning after you got here and he was absolutely starving. He pressed a light kiss to your forehead, “I’ll be back soon.” he promised and left the room, heading in the direction of The Great Hall, knowing Lyonel usually had supper around this time.
Ever the generous man, Lyonel instantly invited Dunk to sit beside him and join him for supper, trying his best to make the tall man feel better with jokes and chalices filled to the brim with wine. But nothing worked, he just couldn’t stop thinking about you and it definitely didn’t help that tears pricked his eyes every time you popped into his head.
Lyonel sighed, sad to see a friend of his behave like this at one of his feasts instead of smiling and joking around with him like he usually did. He looked over at Dunk, their eyes briefly meeting, “What is on your mind?” he asked, the people surrounding the two of them fading into the background.
Dunk looked down at his lap then back up at him, “I-I love her and it terrifies me to know that I won’t get as much time with her as I want. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.” he made known.
Lyonel took one last long sip from his chalice and set it down, “So tell her.” he simply said.
Dunk’s eyes widened, “What?” he inquired, raising his eyebrows.
He briefly squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Gods, you really are as thick as a castle wall. Tell her you love her before it’s too late.” Lyonel answered.
—-----------------------------------
Later in the night once he returned to the room you’d been recovering in, he curled up in the empty spot next to you and fell asleep comfortably for once while he held you in his arms instead of staying awake all night in that chair like some guard dog. And as he slept, he had the worst nightmare he’d had in years since Rafe died.
In this one, he dreamt that it was the next morning and he’d woken up to find you dead beside him, you’d died in your sleep because of this horrible virus and looked terrifyingly pale, your skin as cold as ice. He scooped you up into his arms and screamed out in agony, cursing the Gods for taking you from him, as an intense pain flooded his chest. But he ignored it and continued to hold you close, crying over your dead body until his own heart eventually gave out and he died beside you.
This nightmare stretched into the morning and when he finally woke up, quick breaths left his lips and he immediately sat up. His eyes darted over to your sleeping form beside him and he pressed two of his fingers to your throat like he’d seen the Maester do, feeling your heartbeat beneath his finger tips. At the confirmation that you were still alive, he let out a relieved breath and his shoulders relaxed. You were okay, you were still with him. It was just a dream.
The longer he watched you under the morning light, the more clear the differences in your appearance became. You looked as if life had been breathed back into you over night, you looked like yourself again, giving him more relief in hopes that you were feeling better and his prayer had worked. He suddenly looked down at the feeling of you holding his hand and stroking the back of it with your thumb, smiling up at him.
He smiled back at you and cupped your face in his free hand, “How’re you feelin’, love?” he asked, the new pet name accidentally slipping out, making your cheeks blush.
“A lot better, thank you for staying by my side.” you told him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
At the sound of this, happy tears began to flow down Dunk’s cheeks and he hugged you, wrapping one arm around you while the other slotted itself into your messy hair. “Gods, I love you so much, sweet girl. Never scare me like that again.” he confessed and goosebumps appeared on your arms.
You pressed a kiss to the side of his head, “I love you too, Dunk. I was just too scared to do anything about it in case you didn’t feel the same,” you told him and his smile became brighter, hugging you even tighter. “Can’t breathe, too tight.” you said, prompting him to let you go.
He laughed at how he’d forgotten his own strength, “Sorry,” he said, quickly releasing your body. His eyes met yours as he hovered over you, making your heart pound, “Can I kiss you?” he asked and you nodded.
And in an instant, his lips crashed into yours and he held your face in both of his hands. The kiss was messy and slow, but you adored it all the same. “I love you.” he muttered again and again in between kisses, making you wish you’d had the confidence to tell him how you felt much sooner. But at least now you’d be able to make up for lost time without your possible death looming over both of you.
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