your highness, it pains me to admit this, but i fear it is my duty as a just and loyal knight to do so. you see, i fear i have not upheld my oaths very well these past few weeks… traitorous, despicable thoughts of romance and lust keep entering my mind. i saw your hand flex around your quill as you penned a letter the other afternoon, and the sight of it alone nearly undid me.
i’ll of course accept any punishment you see fit, your highness. i just couldn’t bear to live with this shame anymore. i beg you to let me earn my forgiveness, whatever it takes.
sincerely, ser lark
Oh indeed, Ser Lark,
Such behavior from one of my knights is shocking. To think, that something so mundane as the way my noble fingers grasp a quill would spur you to such lascivious thoughts... we will certainly need to do something about it.
Tell me, did you wonder how my hand might look flexing around an instrument of a different kind? Did you imagine what the fine tips of my fingers might feel like?... Did you think of your lord with lust in your heart while you lay in your bed?
Tsk tsk tsk... what ever am I to do with you, Ser Lark?
Perhaps I should have you report to my chambers and have you prove to me how penitent you are. Perhaps I should have you crawl to kiss my feet and beg for absolution.
Perhaps - if you are very very good - I might even let you kiss that self-same royal hand. Might let you show me just how willing you are to work for my forgiveness.
Mark me well, Ser Lark. You will have to earn it.