#sera.vnt

[femmeryanross]

i’m so tired of short talking stages or showing interest in someone and we talk for a day. i have so much love to give and im always the one messaging and the one making the first move and i get i’m probably unlovable but i just want someone else to show interest in me first. i know im not pretty and i know im boring and i know im annoying but i wish i wasn’t. i wish someone could like me and i wish i was more to someone than i am. i’m tired of always shooting my shot and no one ever reciprocating and i just want to know what it feels like to be desired and wanted. i am tired of being alone i want my person

[femmeryanross]

semi talking to this girl. i liked her for a year and then she liked me back and i said i wanted to wait til we weren’t long distance because we have only seen eachother irl 3 times. had a whole conversation about it. months ago by and im telling her how i don’t have a date to homecoming, and she goes “yeah well i’d hope not since you have a girlfriend” dead ass. and i’m like “??… i have a girlfriend?”. and apparently she had been telling people we were dating for MONTHS. so, im like uhh wtf it was a whole thing. so, i’m transneu. i appear more femininely, but i identity fem-neu. i begin to realize that she has always denied my transness. which is odd, considering she is transgender herself. when i was transmasc and bisexual she only acknowledged me as a lesbian, now that im transneu she has only expressed to me that im cis. saying i dont understand trans issues, sending me things like “send this to a cis person”, etc etc etc. like so fucking much of it. the more she disregards my identity the more and more i don’t like her.

[femmeryanross]

i got my haircut yesterday and i feel like i look too masculine now. do i still give femme? feeling so dysphoric

[femmeryanross]

i’m so upset. i can barely see. my right eye is making up for my left eye and i can’t see the specialist until the 27th of october and my vision is rapidly getting worse. i can’t barely function at school. my glasses just make it worse because my right prescription is wrong. “he says it’s right” then why can’t i see out of it. i started crying because i can’t fucking see, i can’t read, i can’t write, and she goes “did you fill your meds?”. every time im upset recently she just asks if ive taken my meds or filled my prescription. i’m so fucking frustrated i just want my eye fixed and my emotions to be seen normally

[femmeryanross]

TW SH !!! i need to cut so bad today has been so awful

[femmeryanross]

i js realized that no one around me but one fucking person actually listens to me so is this my sign to block everyone and delete all socials bc what’s the point

[femmeryanross]

how it feels trying to talk to a friend who only talks about their exes, current crushes, situationships, and friends with benefits but they say “i miss how we used to talk” as if it wasn’t just you listening to them any second of the day. if you ever wonder why your romance life is dead just know it’s my friend who hasn’t had a dry spot in romance since he was 13. i love him but i bet if you asked him my favorite color he wouldn’t have a clue. his is red and black.

[femmeryanross]

odd vent,, please don’t think of my differently :(. i just need somewhere to express my thoughts…

i really want a girlfriend, i want a older butch girlfriend who’s experienced :( i want a femme cougar who wants to show me how the world is. i know it’s wrong,, but i can’t stop but feeling it :(( i want a girlfriend so bad sososo bad. i need a girlfriend :( i miss having someone who gets me, someone who i can tell my every thought to, someone who i can trust, who i can can rely on, and who can rely on me. someone to match pfps with and someone who wants to do everything together. i feel so alone and i just want a girlfriend so bad. i want to love them and take care of them.