“Bilko's Ape Man” (S4;E24 ~ March 18, 1959)
Created by Nat Hiken (creator of “Car 54 Where Are You?”)
Produced by Edward J. Montagne
Directed by Al De Caprio, Aaron Ruben
Written by Arnie Rosen, Coleman Jacoby
Synopsis ~ A fitness instructor is placed in Bilko's platoon. To get rid of him and to make some money, Bilko tries to get him cast in a Tarzan movie. To do this, Bilko tries to fix it so his man wins the Mr. Universe contest. First step: he hires a woman (Lucille Ball) to scream when his man goes on stage. When this fails, he dresses Doberman up in a gorilla suit to fight his 'Tarzan'. Colonel Hall sees the 'gorilla' and soon has the whole camp hunting for him.
Phil Silvers (Master Sergeant Ernie Bilko) was born Philip Silversmith in 1911 (the same year as Lucille Ball). He started entertaining at age 11. He made his Broadway debut in 1939. In 1952 he won a Tony Award in the Broadway musical Top Banana in which he played a TV star modeled on Milton Berle. His feature film debut came in 1940. Silvers became a household name in 1955 when he starred as Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko. In 1963, Ball and Silvers performed the classic ‘Slowly I Turn’ sketch for “CBS Opening Night.” In December 1966, Silvers guest-starred in “Lucy and the Efficiency Expert” (TLS S5;E13). A year later Ball and Silvers both had bit parts in the film A Guide for the Married Man (1967). He died at the age of 74.
Lucille Ball (Fainting Fan, uncredited) filmed this un-named, uncredited cameo in early 1959, just a few months before she left both her husband and Lucy Ricardo behind for good. Two months earlier, Ball had played Lucy Ricardo on “Make Room for Daddy” in return for their cast appearing on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour,” but this appearance on “The Phil Silvers Show” is the first time Lucille Ball has ever appeared on another situation comedy as non-Lucy character.
Harvey Lembeck (Corporal Rocco Barbella) is probably best remembered as Edward Von Zipper in the beach party films. He was also seen in the movie musicals Kiss Me Kate (1958) and The Unsinkable Molly Brown (1964).
Paul Ford (Colonel John T. Hall) was nominated for three Emmy Awards for playing Colonel Hall in 1957, 1958, and 1959. Both Ford and Silvers appeared in the 1963 film It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
Hope Sansberry (Mrs. Nell Hall) appeared uncredited in the Lucy Ball / Bob Hope film Fancy Pants (1950), which was her screen debut. She played Mrs. Hall for 38 episodes.
Maurice Gosfield (Private Duane Doberman) was nominated for an Emmy Award for playing Colonel Hall, in 1959. Both Gosfield and Silvers appeared in the 1960 TV movie Summer in New York.
Allan Melville (Corporal Steve Henshaw) is probably best remembered as Sam the Butcher on “The Brady Bunch” (1969-74) and Barney Hefner on “All in the Family” (1971-79) and “Archie Bunker's Place” (1979-83).
Bernie Fein (Private Gomez) was also the creator of “Hogan's Heroes” (1965-71).
Maurice Brenner (Private Irving Fleischman) played Officer Julie and several other character roles on “Car 54 Where Are You?”
Terry Carter (Private Sugie Sugarman) made his screen debut with this role.
Herbie Faye (Corporal Sam Fender) made four appearances on “Here's Lucy,” and one on “The Lucy Show.” He was also seen with Silvers in the 1951 Broadway musical Top Banana.
Mickey Freeman (Private Fielding Zimmerman) later wrote a book about “The Phil Silvers Show” titled Bilko: Behind the Lines with Phil Silvers. The book includes anecdotes and an episode guide. When he died in 2010 he was the last surviving principal cast member from the show.
Jack Healey (Private Mullen) went on to appear as Officer Rodriguez on “Car 54 Where Are You?” from 1961 to 1963.
Bilko calls Mullen “The Fidel Castro of the Slobs.”
Billy Sands (Private Dino Papparelli) made three appearances on “Here's Lucy” and did a television commercial with Lucille Ball in the 1970s. He went on to play 'Tinker' Bell on “McHale's Navy” for 138 episodes from 1962 to 1968. That's one less than his number of appearances on “The Phil Silvers Show.”
Kenneth Vaughn (Private Forbes) is the platoon's “new recruit” - the physical fitness instructor that Bilko needs to get rid of.
Joe E. Ross (Master Sergeant Rupert Ritzik) went on to create the role of Gunther Tooty on “Car 54 Where Are You? (1961-63). He also played the role of Ritzik with Maurice Gosfield as Doberman on “The Ed Sullivan Show” (December 28, 1958).
Beatrice Pons (Mrs. Emma Ritzik) played Joe E. Ross's wife Emma for 13 episodes and then went on to play his wife again on “Car 54 Where Are You?” She made 32 appearances as Lucille Toody from 1961 to 1963.
Edith King (Ursula Thorndike) played five different characters on the series, including Martha Washington. This is her final role.
Thorndike is the editor of Body Health Magazine and also a judge in the Mr. Universe contest.
John Alexander (General Alexander) is probably best remembered as 'Teddy Roosevelt' Brewster in Arsenic and Old Lace (1944). This is one of three Generals he played on the series, all with different surnames. He also played three different characters on “Car 54 Where Are You?”
Fred Herrick (The Hunter) plays the last of his four character roles on the series.
Nick Saunders (Captain Barker) played the role for 28 episodes between 1956 and 1959. In 1962, he made two appearances on “Car 54 Where Are You?”
Barbara Barry (WAC Corporal Edna, uncredited) made 36 appearances as Edna, her only screen role.
Uncredited performers play the bodybuilders and the magazine photographer.
“The Phil Silvers Show,” originally titled “You'll Never Get Rich,” and variously called “Sergeant Bilko” (or merely “Bilko”), is a sitcom which ran on CBS from 1955 to 1959. A pilot called "Audition Show" was made in 1955, but never broadcast. 143 other episodes were broadcast - all 30 minutes long except for a 1959 one-hour live special. The series starred Phil Silvers as Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko of the United States Army. It ran concurrently with “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour,” airing its final episode just two months after the Ricardos and Mertzes left the air for good.
Character actors who appeared on the series included: Ned Glass, Dody Goodman, **Jane Kean, ***Al Lewis, Charlotte Rae, Fred Gwynn, +Dick Van Dyke, Morey Amsterdam, Margaret Hamilton, +Paul Lynde, Larry Storch, Peggy Cass, +Dina Merrill, Irwin Corey, *Natalie Schafer, Tina Louise, Alan Alda, Orson Bean, Lee Meriwether, Julie Newmar, +Bea Arthur, Barnard Hughes, and Sammy Cahn.
Celebrities who appeared as themselves include: Bing Crosby, +Gary Crosby, Dale Evans, +Ed Sullivan, **Mickey Rooney, Diana Dors, Kay Kendall, Jule Styne, Sam Snead, Dorothy McGuire, Mike Todd, and Yogi Berra.
Like Lucille Ball, other uncredited celebrities included: George Kennedy, *Jack Albertson, Pat Hingle, *Janet Waldo, Mason Adams, Vincent Gardenia, Graham Jarvis, Robert Morse, Christopher Lloyd, **Dean Martin, and +Dick Cavett.
* appeared on “I Love Lucy”
** appeared on “The Lucy Show”
*** appeared on “Here’s Lucy”
+ appeared with Lucille Ball on other TV projects
Lucille Ball speaks just eight words (besides screams) and her screen appearance lasts just a minute and a half. It is unknown if this appearance was reciprocal or a favor for Silvers. He didn't appear on “The Lucy Show” for another seven years!
The movie magazine in which Papperelli (Billy Sands, left) reads about a movie studio looking for a new Tarzan has the name ELVIS in large letters on the facing page. At the time of filming, Elvis Presley was also in the Army. On the air date (March 18, 1959), Elvis was thrown to the side of the road and injured his knee while taking a tight curve in a Jeep. The injury, however, was kept secret from the press.
Bilko is determined to get perfect specimen Private Forbes out of his unit and cast as the new Tarzan.
Henshaw: “Yeah, but Ernie, how do you know he can act?
Bilko: “What act? You don't have to act. All you have to learn how to do is stab animals and say two lines: 'Me Tarzan. You Jane.'”
Henshaw: “What's in it for you?”
Bilko: “Me rich!”
The auditions are being held at the Santa Monica Auditorium, which, in reality had just opened in 1958.
Forbes can't attend the screen test because he is enrolled in the Mr. Universe Contest at Santa Monica Beach. The Mr. Universe Championships are annual worldwide bodybuilding events organized by the National Amateur Body-Builders' Association (NABBA). In 1959 the winners were Len Sell (amateur) and Bruce Randall (professional).
Santa Monica's 'Muscle Beach' derived its name from the growing reputation of gymnastics and strength athletes who congregated there due to the 1940 opening of the first nationwide chain of gyms by Vic Tanny. By the 1950s, Muscle Beach established worldwide fame and helped to popularize the health and fitness movement.
To make Forbes a loin cloth, he cons Mrs. Ritzik out of her old leopard print coat. Forbes objects to Bilko styling his hair and doing his make-up.
Bilko: “Look, I happen to know Perc Westmore worked two hours a day on Buster Crabbe, so let me help you with these things.”
Olympic swimmer Buster Crabbe played Tarzan in 1933's 12-chapter serial Tarzan the Fearless. Perc Westmore was one the famous Westmore family of make-up artists, although there is no record of him working with Crabbe. This is probably a Bilko embellishment. Perc Westmore did Lucille Ball's make-up for The Big Street in 1943. Lucy and four of the Westmores appeared in “Hedda Hopper's Hollywood” in January 1960.
To help convince the contest judges that Forbes should be the winner, Bilko has arranged to pay a woman $5 to scream and faint when he steps onto the runway. This un-named woman is played by television's number one star, Lucille Ball. Ball, wearing a fur-lined jacket and pearls, walks into the shot with her back to the camera. When she turns, the studio audience (or laugh track) “oohs and ahhs” at the sight of her. Lucy's first attempt is more of a shriek, than a swoon.
Bilko: “I said Forbes, not Frankenstein!”
Her second attempt sounds like an ambulance siren.
Bilko: “You're going to be on television. You ever been on television before?”
Lucy's eyes grow wide and she shakes her head no! When Bilko describes how well-built Forbes is, Lucy faints – for real - and is carried off by Henshaw.
Bilko: “This is a real nut. Get her out of here!”
Corporal Barbella suggests that Forbes pick a fight with Gordon Scott, the current Tarzan, just for the publicity. Scott played Tarzan in six films, more than anyone except for Johnny Weissmuller, who played the role twelve times. Bilko likes the idea, but wants to add in an ape for Forbes to fight. The ape is played by Private Doberman in a gorilla suit.
When he is spotted by the General on a field reconnaissance, an all-points bulletin is issued to kill him on sight!
The episode ends with Mrs. Ritzco chewing out Bilko for conning her out of her leopard print coat! To shut her up, Bilko signs a requisition for the Army to buy her a brand new coat.
In 1956, Lucille Ball and Phil Silvers teamed for the very first time on the small screen to celebrate the 8th Anniversary of “The Ed Sullivan Show”, although Ball is not mentioned in the above TV Guide ad. The pair returned for the show’s 14th Anniversary in 1962.
1956 “Who’s Who in Television and Radio”. Silvers and Ball are joined on the cover by Perry Como, Ed Sullivan, Elvis Presley, and Janet Blair.
“The Television Pictorial History” was published by Chilton Company in 1959, the same year as “Bilko and the Ape Man” aired. This copy was autographed by Phil Silvers. The photograph is a publicity image.
In early 1961, TV icons Phil Silvers and Lucille Ball were major stars on Broadway, both in new musicals.
In 1963, Lucille Ball and Phil Silvers joined stars like Danny Thomas, Arthur Godfrey, and Ed Sullivan to introduce the new season of programs on CBS.
Lucy and Phil teamed to recreate the famous “Slowly I Turned” vaudeville routine she first did on “I Love Lucy.”
In 1965, Lucille Ball and Phil Silvers appeared in the special “A Salute To Stan Laurel”.
In 1966′s "Lucy and the Efficiency Expert” (TLS S5;E13), Silvers plays Oliver Kasten, an efficiency expert Mr. Mooney hires to organize the bank. Seven years after Lucille Ball appearing on his show, Silvers finally appears on hers!
Lucy and Phil Silvers shared the small screen for the final time in the kickoff Sunday of “CBS On The Air” - Night of 100 Stars on March 26, 1978. Lucy represented Mondays and Silvers represented Tuesdays.