Welp, That's All Folks.
I was just fired from the restaurant; I won’t mention the name of the place just in case anyone from there finds me here. I got a table of one grumpy old man, and he was mad because I didn’t come to his table sooner… well no one told me you were even here! That’s not my fault. He calls me “Orphan Annie,” so I lean into that and say, “I’ll be right back, with a porter, bet ya’ this time your wait will be shorter,” to the tune of “Tomorrow” from Annie. Of course, that man wanted me to sing everything on the menu back to him, so I did, and I was happy to do it. I ran back and forth, singing. When he got his steak he kicked it across the room, he left without tipping. I’ve been doing this since I was seventeen and I’m tired. I ran after that man and told him right off, to the tune of “Phantom of the Opera.” I’d never felt freer than when I left that place. I just want to write Broadway songs.
Anyway, I have a lot of free time now. I’m applying for unemployment… What kind of jerks have abused you in the service industry? Pleeeeeeeeeease write in! Even though that guy was an asshole, I made some cool songs during that shift. I think I’m going to make a SoundCloud dedicated to making fun of these customers so please write in the ask!!!! Anyway, I’m going to decompress and take a bath. There’s ketchup literally caked in my hair, and it’s been a very long day.