Server's Revenge

I’m Annie, and I was fired from my restaurant for telling off a jerk who didn’t tip. Write in the “Ask” about your worst customers, and I’ll immortalize them with a show tune!

[serversrevenge]

IT'S FINALLY HERE!

You’ve sent stories, and man my inbox is flooded! I’ll get to those soon, but the songs I’ve written for you guys are FINALLY on the SoundCloud.

Here’s the link: https://soundcloud.com/serversrevenge

Anyway, I thought you should know more about me.

THINGS I LOVE:

Broadway Musicals, duh.

My cat, Demeter of course.

Revenge

Tipping well when I eat out (will I be able to afford to eat out again?)

My dads

THINGS I HATE:

Bad tippers, obviously.

Old ladies who run their mouths.

People who hate cats, whether it’s CATS on Broadway or real cats. If you don’t like cats, I don’t trust you. 

When the unemployment website doesn’t load. If I can’t work right now, the website should at least work, LOL.

If you are a bad tipper who hates cats, get off my page! I’m looking for employment, but all these stories make me not want to work at a restaurant anymore. I think I should finally make the move to NYC…

One can dream.

Until next time, stay vengeful.

Keep submitting.

-Annie <3

[serversrevenge]

Nothing too crazy, but this instance really made me want to whip out my bachelor’s degree in environmental science. 

I was told a party of six was on the patio, so I of course bring out six waters. Only one person was at the table, and he says, “you need to leave my water and take the others back, it’s hot out.” I put the waters back on the tray, which is when he decides to give me a lesson in elementary science. He used a tone you would use when speaking to an eight-year-old. “When water is left out in the heat with ice on it, the glasses get wet. It’s called condensation,” he told me.

“Wow, that’s so crazy, I never knew that. I’ll sure remember that next time,” I responded, and he failed to pick up on any degree of sarcasm.

Wow, that’s so crazy, it’s like servers know things about science. What a wild thought LOL.

[serversrevenge]

Okay, so the other day I was working a lunch shift. I’m the only one working lunch because we don’t get much business for lunch, usually. At about 11:25 AM I had four tables and one to greet when this couple sat down, they were old. I asked them if they wanted anything to drink and immediately noted that they were difficult because it took about three minutes for the man to ask me for a sweet tea with lemon. I greet the other table and then go back to their table. We have Doner Kebabs on our menu, and the lady asks about them. “At least they’re not Donner Kebabs,” she says, “do you know anything about the tragedy of Donner?” she asks me. The thing is, I vaguely remember this from history class. I also remember this woman asking me the exact same thing months ago and I blanked out. I knew she was going to call me out and give me more crap if I didn’t know, so I said, “no,” hoping to leave or that she’d make it quick. She begins her story with “…in the 1800’s,” Meanwhile, in the corner of my eyes, I see three two-tops get sat. She keeps explaining geography, historical context, the terrain of the Sierra Nevada mountains.  I could not care less lady, just let me do my job please. I watch another two-top get sat while she goes on this seven-minute-long speech. When she was done talking, I made no comment on her story, I didn’t have time. I finally took her order and scurried away. I was behind for the rest of the shift and couldn’t give anyone good service just because this woman wanted to give a history lesson to a server. I’m so tired, they left me five dollars for that.

I’m not sure if she’s just lonely (not your problem) or if she thinks you’re uneducated and need a history lesson (her problem) but either way, I want to put her on a wagon and sent her far away for you. Okay, I’ll have a song for you by next week and I hope she doesn’t eat you first.

[serversrevenge]

SERVING: REVENGE

I guess the posters really got this page some traction! You’ve asked, and I hear you! I have eleven stories in my ask box right now, and one angry restaurant owner asking me to take my page down! Free speech, ever heard of it?

I wrote the song to accompany the first submission, I’ll be posting that here soon. Here’s a little preview (to the tune of “One” from A Chorus Line) “One singular incision, made this Karen hate her steak. One, little more incision, she’d see it was the perfect make.” She’s vile and suddenly turned against you. You never know what an angry rich old lady can do.”

Teehee. Don’t worry, it becomes even more damning. Okay, I’m going to post the rest of the submissions and try to write you your songs! Wait, maybe I’ll sleep first.

[serversrevenge]

OMG! I saw your poster at the gas station, I love this idea.

Yesterday at work this lady ordered a medium filet. She finally ordered something after about 10000 questions, so I made sure to check on her a couple times. She cuts the filet at the very end and declares it “too fatty to eat.” I ask her if she could cut the middle and she says, "no, it's too fatty, I need to see a manager." So, I get my boss, and she demands a free 60$ steak. We do it for her, but my boss cuts up the steak and shows her that it was cooked a perfect medium. She asks if it is the same steak, and we say yes. She gets her new steak, and apparently, it's "too rare," now. She ended up leaving $8 on a 120$ check after running me around the whole night.

Congratulations you are the first to submit! Maybe her steak will cook the way she wants it too on her way into hell LOL. Okay, stay tuned and I’ll write a song for ya’. Feel free to add any description of this woman in the “ask” so I can read it for inspo.

[serversrevenge]

Welp, That's All Folks.

I was just fired from the restaurant; I won’t mention the name of the place just in case anyone from there finds me here. I got a table of one grumpy old man, and he was mad because I didn’t come to his table sooner… well no one told me you were even here! That’s not my fault. He calls me “Orphan Annie,” so I lean into that and say, “I’ll be right back, with a porter, bet ya’ this time your wait will be shorter,” to the tune of “Tomorrow” from Annie. Of course, that man wanted me to sing everything on the menu back to him, so I did, and I was happy to do it. I ran back and forth, singing. When he got his steak he kicked it across the room, he left without tipping. I’ve been doing this since I was seventeen and I’m tired. I ran after that man and told him right off, to the tune of “Phantom of the Opera.” I’d never felt freer than when I left that place. I just want to write Broadway songs.

Anyway, I have a lot of free time now. I’m applying for unemployment… What kind of jerks have abused you in the service industry? Pleeeeeeeeeease write in! Even though that guy was an asshole, I made some cool songs during that shift. I think I’m going to make a SoundCloud dedicated to making fun of these customers so please write in the ask!!!! Anyway, I’m going to decompress and take a bath. There’s ketchup literally caked in my hair, and it’s been a very long day.