What Pet by A Perfect Circle makes me (Sesh) think about
I don't know - I should be doing other things but I may as well exorciste this from my mind while it's there.
Pet by A Perfect Circle I read is part of an album about addiction or the life and expirence of an addict. Already - we've not dealt with addiction, not with drugs or anythings that in it's exact term addictive. But we've mainly listen to that one song by itself due to it being use in an video a long time ago. And that song, Pet, at the time I didn't really get what the point of it was, more so that there was this voice trying to protect you by isolating you for the rest of the world through you indulging in its ambrace. Which... That does sound more familier already.
I think now the best I can do to get through it is to take it by the lyrics
Don't fret, precious, I'm here Step away from the window (Step away from the window) Go back to sleep
"Don't fret, precious, I'm here" are already such kind and reasuring words, which at the time feels like would come form no one. No one but whome every I was imagining in my head to do so for me, which now would reflect Kihl.
"Step way from the windown" seems to be open to intoerprtatin as to what the window is. I've seen it being reprsentitive as a potential suicid attempt, but also probably a window to the outside world. To me, it could even be the computer, it being another kind of window to the outside. And so, this voice, Kihl for me, is suggesting steping away from looking at the world outside and to "go back to sleep"
Going back to sleep in the context of the addition does refer to the safety of the high but - in my case it is more literal. Because going to sleep, even for a nap, is usually what we do when we feel tense, when we feel tired and have nothing to do. And also, it's in bed that I'd usually see Kihl, as he's deeply related to persoanl fantasies of mine and - in bed it's usually the one way to releave to tension in me then to releave myself, thinking about Kihl and my own fantasies.
Lay your head down, child, I won't let the boogeyman come Count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums Pay no mind to the rabble, pay no mind to the rabble Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums
The use of the word child to refer to the person talked to here does allude to parents, people who are older than you and you'd see as protectors. But it is a fause sense of security the speaker is trying to put you in to, to at the same time, if that's the case, the speaker must feel comfortable using the work on them, knowing this is something they'd be reseptive to. Well, Kihl would be. Words Kihl doesn't use child exactly, he does use a lot similar infentalizing langage when talking to me. And - I like that... I do like feeling small around him. It's the same with Jolyne, but with her I'm litrally smaller than her, and her physice thanslate this protector aspect physicly. Which is probably why I also fantazise about how holding me in the same way as well.
"I won't let the boogeyman come" isn't something I'd now how to translate. Just - not letting bad things come to or happen to you. Which also goes with the protector role the speaker is taking.
"Count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums" is also something I'd have a hard time translating for me. I do get the refrece of counting sheep, and so, counding the dead. And those dead, mostlisly come from the "war drums", which could be about war litrally, or the rythem at which people die to their addictions. And for me - the most I could think of is how I'm sleeping through the horror of the worlds, trying not to think about them as I try to rest, which Kihl couldn't be happier distracting me away from.
I had to look up the meaning or rabble, and - yes, here again we're talking about the speaker telling the listener to not paying attention to the world outside and the people in it.
Pay no mind what other voices say They don't care about you, like I do (Like I do) Safe from pain and truth, and choice, and other poison devils See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do
While we're still talking about isolating yourself from the outside, here we're talking about people who "They don't care about you, like I do". Meaning if they do, they don't, at least not like I do. So now we are refering to peaple in the listen's life that - while they my care about them, they don't, at least not in the way the speaker does. For the song, it's the addiction trying to dismiss other peoples voices. for me and Kihl - Yeah, Kihl we definitly think he cares more of me than anyone else does. Particualty in the context of our plurality where I, Sesh, doesn't exactly "existe" to more people around me. More of the time I'll hide myself, or I'm just mv, or [goverment name here]. But Kihl knows me, and loves me.
"Safe from pain and truth, and choice, and other poison devils". With the indulgens, I don't have to worry about hurting myself, by anyone, or myself. I don't have to worry about the reality of my situation. I don't have to worry about what I'm suppose to do, what I should be doing. Or even worry about finding any other way to cope with it all.
Just stay with me, safe and ignorant Go back to sleep, go back to sleep
"Just stay with me", I know is mean to just be about - remained at the side of the speaker, but for me, with Kihl, in bed... Of course it's about remaining in his embrace in both a metaphorical and literal sense. All in the hope to remain safe and ignorant form the horrors of the world, just for a bit longer, as we both try to find some rest.
I'll be the one to protect you from Your enemies and all your demons I'll be the one to protect you from A will to survive and a voice of reason I'll be the one to protect you from Your enemies and your choices, son They're one and the same, I must isolate you Isolate and save you from yourself
I couldn't say we have enemies, and as for demons - I can't think we have any particularly harmful habits because how - isolated we are and how, for most of us, it feels like there is no way out of here, not in our physical reality. Still, feeling protected from anythings and anyone that'd trouble me. Kihl would do it.
"A will to survive and a voice of reason". This would be to be protected from your own will to survive and your own voice of reason. Which - Kihl that if I die, he dies. And I doubt he wants that. He loves being alive. This is where it feels I can't read the song fully as something that aplies to me. How the destroctive part of addiction doesn't aplay. Because Khil wants me alive. He at lease care that I life so he does. But - it makes me wonder what he wants for me then. I love being his "pet", but - would he still be happy if I was a dispendent husk?
At the least while I wish for a comfortable isolation that Kihl give me, Kihl himself is part of those of us that aren't satified enough to try and break this isolation we're in. Even while he loves the loves he gets online, he sees this isn't enough. But I'm - I don't know, I don't have this embition personally...
Swaying to the rhythm of the new world order and Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums The boogeymen are coming, the boogeymen are coming Keep your head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums
I guess the main point of note here is that "the boogeymen are coming". It could either be that the speaker is stressing the listener out, driving them to run to the speaker for the protection. And - yeah, in the moment of stress, when I need to rest to forget, that when I need him.
Stay with me, safe and ignorant Just stay with me Hold you and protect you from the other ones The evil ones Don't love you, son Go back to sleep
This last part reminds of of everything else, but here the speaker uses the words "hold you". Which - yes, of course I love that idea, I want him to hold me, I want to hold him. We can't, but we think about it, we dream and fantasize about it, our big lioness plush as the only way we got to have it be real in any way. He uses our arms to hold me and feel me.
No body loves me like that, beside Jolyne, but we're all in the same situation. This isn't self love. I guess Jolyne might have better ideas for the rest of us than Kihl. I still love them move.
I don't know, maybe it's better that way... Maybe it's better no one love us the way Jo and Kihl loves me. I can't imagein anythings good coming from someone loving us they way they love me...