Thoughts on If I Fall and This Might End Up a Story
I would have never met Ate Leng’s works if not for one of my close friends’ recommendation of If I Fall. I started reading it around December last year. I was only able to finish it after the school year has ended. Why?
I had absolutely lost interest in Filipino Wattpad stories about romance about two years ago. It started to sink in that most of them are so shallow and is just a waste of time. I especially hate reading about very flat and unrealistic characters and, in my opinion, these wattpad stories are so full of them. With this being my opinion (it actually still is), why did I choose to read If I Fall? My friend had told me that there is a student-teacher relationship in the story and that certainly took my interest. I adore forbidden love in fiction and student-teacher relationships are one of my guilty pleasures. I gave it a shot with only that in mind. I did not have expectations for the story due to my negative opinion about Wattpad romance stories. I did not expect a storm to come barging in my life.
In the beginning, I did not give any priority to If I Fall. That is why I had finished it around March of 2015 even when I had started it in December last year. The slow pacing really killed me at first. I always fell asleep after reading only a few pages probably because I read it very late at night. I will only read a little bit if I have absolutely nothing to do while I’m in bed. For a few weeks, it became something that I used to fall asleep at night.
Having read the prologue at that time, I was so underwhelmed. There was no spark. I was reading without feelings. There was typical introduction of characters, so on and so forth. The amazon-woman cliché check! The cat-and-dog relationship cliché check! The hot and popular basketball jock check! I did not expect anything spectacularly new at all. I was also very annoyed by Barbs and Cyrus in the beginning. I just gave no care for them because they were both very annoying. I thought they genuinely didn’t get along at all in the beginning and if that’s how this whole thing with them was going to be, I might as well just stop reading! It’s a good thing that I fought my annoyance, though. Wes and Rocky always fighting annoyed the heck out of me too but they were not as annoying as the early Bayrus was.
It was at the end of the school year that I seriously started reading it. I don’t know what chapter gave the story my full attention and curiosity. All I know is that I got hooked pretty badly. There were nights where I did not give myself any sleep just to know what happens next in the story. At this time, every character was already given exposure. I was impressed by how the main characters were actually given legitimate development and backstories. The characters had stories that many people could relate to. They were stories that even I could relate to despite not residing in the Philippines. I was already attached to all of the main characters and of course, the pairings too. I had fallen deeply in love with Bayrus over time. I could not believe how I became so emotionally invested in a pairing that I once thought was annoying and clichéd. They had an undeniable connection. It is a connection that I cannot un-see nor un-feel no matter what they both say about it in the sequel.
I had grown attached to the other pairings namely Vean, Wesky, and Chesnine. As I’ve said above, I started reading If I Fall for the S-T Relationship which is Vean. I don’t know when Bayrus started weighing more than Vean but that just proves that the flow of a fairly long story has the ability to change your opinions.
I adored Wesky very much over time, too. They were good together and I have a feeling that they would last the longest out of all the pairs. I don’t want to expect anything though because we know how ate Leng plays with our feelings! xD This pairing has this aura that tells you that everything will be okay no matter what.
When Seth was first introduced, I pretty much knew what his role would be in the story but the thing is I initially failed to understand his importance to the development of Barbs and Cyrus. At that time, it did not come into mind that Seth could have a big, big part to play. I initially took him for the typical second guy for a triangle to form. I thought he was just another obstacle for the relationship of Barbs and Cyrus that I already assumed was endgame. Never was I more wrong. This is one of the biggest things that made me become so impressed with Ate Leng. She actually made it hard for me to choose between the two! I have seen the love triangle scenario countless times and I always see it as a big waste of time. We basically know who ends up together so can you just stop putting unnecessary people into the picture? I know this logic isn’t entirely right but you guys get my point, right? My heart is rarely moved by the second guy. That’s why I hate half-baked stories revolving around love triangles. Don’t put a second guy if you’re not confident enough that this addition would confuse the readers. It’s so rare that I could count the times with my fingers. This is certainly one of the times. If you’re asking me who I want Barbs to be with, I honestly don’t know anymore. That idk feeling is so painful (but delicious because you know that it’s a GOOD love triangle you’re getting), you won’t understand unless you’ve been there and I’m pretty sure a lot of this story’s readers have been there. Of course, even if you have that idk feeling, there is still a pair that weighs more than the other no matter how you deny and say that you can’t choose. So, for me, that’s…….*drumroll*…..Bayrus. Yes po, na sa #TeamUmaasaKahitAngSakitSakitNa rin po ako!
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with Sethrang too and I also think that they are soulmates and that they are the ones who truly love each other. I know that Seth and Barbs have been through similar experiences like loss. I know that their love makes them both feel alive. I also acknowledge that regardless of the recent chapters for TMEAS seemingly trying to make Cyrus look bad and Seth as the holy knight in shining armor, Cyrus is stupid and is so full of himself. I half-believe that he unconsciously took Barbs as a challenge. Something that I will never ever believe is that he purposely took her as a challenge. Cyrus may be an asshole sometimes but he is not that low. I wouldn’t have loved him this much to go crazy for him if he was. So, after pointing all these out, you might be wondering why I’m still leaning on Bayrus on this one. Why? It’s because I just can’t forget about the connection. They had that connection that I did not see with Seth and Barbs in the beginning. I honestly believe that their former fondness for each other when Cyrus was helping her out with her story was real. Their bond was real! How could it not be, right? I just can’t let it go. Again, I can’t un-see and I can’t un-feel. If anything, I will just be adding more things to see and feel. That is why I still have the feeling of doubt and it is also why I acknowledge Sethrang just as much as I do with Bayrus. TMEUAS showed us the (also) genuine bond Seth and Barbara had formed. Again, it added more things to see and feel and I’ve never been so confused for a wattpad story in all my life.
So, what do I really want to happen for Bayruseth? I just want all three of them to be happy. I adore them all as individuals. I adore both bayrus and sethrang. It doesn’t matter that the degree of pain that they felt is not equal. Frankly, I say this. Who cares if Seth has experienced more pain than Cyrus? Who cares if Barbs was hurt by her assumptions about Cyrus and herself? Who cares if Cyrus was not chosen by Barbs despite all that they’ve been through? Well, we all care. They care, too, but the thing is we should stop caring too much. They’ve all been hurt and all of them deserve to be happy. We should avoid using the reason that Cyrus hurt Barbs or Seth has been through a lot so Barbs is rightfully Seth’s. Just no. Don’t try to love if you’re not ready to get hurt. Someone is bound to get hurt no matter what you do. There is nothing that you can do to stop someone from hurting when you start to love so do not use pain as a justification for your favorite pairing. I will be okay no matter what the endgame is – if it’s Bayrus or Sethrang or maybe even none. We’ve read the TMEUAS prologue (err, epilogue), right? More than anything else, I just want them all to be alright.
As expected, my discussion of Bayruseth would be lengthy but there is so much to say about them. Going back to the other pairings, I hope they’ll be alright too. Vean is already blurry and it makes me really sad. I am also reading The Spaces in Between which is also a wonderfully creative work of Ate Leng’s and in that book, I’ve seen the relationship of Lean and Anya, the sister of Cyrus. They were good and I don’t exactly know the cause of their breaking up. One thing’s for sure, though. I am Vean all the waaaaayyy. Badong, Gael, heck even that Bren won’t do. No one else will do but Leandro Abarquez. I really hope Lean would be able to go back to the Philippines soon and patch everything up with Vivien.
Regarding Wesky, they are still going strong and everything they’ve been having in TMEAS is so adorable, their conflicts included. As Jax has said, they are in the rut period and I love that fact. It makes everything about their relationship more realistic. They are growing and that is cute.
I love how all the main characters in If I Fall have slowly become more mature than they were before. High school is indeed different compared to college. So different, in fact. Psh, how can I even say this when I’m only in high school? Despite that, I still know that the years change you as a person, if only you allow it to.
The slow pacing is something I will always thank Ate Leng for. That writing style of hers exists in almost all the stories that she made and that I have read. Indeed, I would have deemed this as a waste of time if there was no ample time for character and relationship development. The “slow pacing” makes the whole thing all the more realistic because I believe that no true love in reality happens in a snap. Sure, maybe infatuation could be induced by such a short time but love…love must be slow and worthy of the other person. So, I’m sorry to the people who believe in love at first sight. :/
TL,DR: If I Fall is a realistically beautiful and creative story about kids falling in love in high school – a scenario that has been used so many times, only a talented writer could make you feel that it is an entirely new story and This Might End Up A Story is a great addition to its prequel because it shows how people realistically change and it answers some of the questions that you had after reading If I Fall. Always remember, though, to not ask questions if you’re not ready for answers. (Ahem, brace yourself for chapter 15-17 of TMEUAS, ahem)
Thank you talaga Ate Leng for making these stories of yours! Ang galing mo talaga! That’s coming from someone who is not a big fan of Wattpad stories. You definitely have talent and I can attest that you are an intelligent person. I’m very new to your stories and I’ve only just became a fan but it doesn’t change the fact that you have greatly impressed me and that I am a supporter of your decisions for your characters. Thank you so much, again! If I am to thank another person now, it would be that close friend of mine who recommended your story to me. I cannot wait for more of TSIB, TMEUAS, and your future works.
