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#buttons! at the disco #panic! at the ecosystem #panic! at the disco #brendon urie #seventy four #patdbuttons favorites

To know you're always there.

(as inspired by A Softer World)

#edmonton oilers #stuart skinner #vincent desharnais #edit #mine #seventy four #seventy three #I'M HAVING ANOTHER MOMENT I'M FINE

i'm losing my fucking mind

#OK before we start let me say that i know if I've done my asthma inhaler or not rignt #it hangs on the back of the bathroom door and i always do it right before i brush my teeth so i never #rarely #forgot to do it #here's the problem #when i take it off the bathroom door and sit down to do it #and then get distracted #and when i come to i don't know if I've done it already #if the counter is an odd number i know im halfway through #other than that I'm fucked #thats what happened this morning #the counter was on 74 i didn't know if id done it or not so i left it bc I'd rather not overdose though i def have accidentally before #don't do that #i get it this evening and sit down and I SWEAR TO GOD i thought SO hard about doing it #i get distracted #come to #and what's the counter on?#SEVENTY FOUR #im going insane #mine #I'm honestly fine 🤣#i just should not be missing doses my lungs won't thank me for it #but i can't see a way to hack it thay doesn't require more focus and self control than my brain has

Seventy Four

i've started having sex dreams,

they tell me how I feel;

they show me tourniquets,

they make me something real.

I've started having sex dreams,

they bound around my head;

they fill the lungs with pipe dreams,

and breathe in tar and lead.

i've started having sex dreams,

just touches on the skin,

brushes on the softness;

states that I am in.

i've started having sex dreams,

they put me in my place;

we elope in pure daylight,

underneath the asphalt grace.

#seventy four #poetry

Edmonton advances to the WCF!!! | EDM @ VAN G7 | 20.05.24

#edmonton oilers #oilers lb #stuart skinner #evan bouchard #mattias ekholm #gif #mine #two #fourteen #seventy four #aaaaaaa

"I really started focusing on myself inwards and what's going on inside; working on the anxiety and the fear."

Stuart Skinner Had To Master The Mental Game En Route To The NHL

#edit #gif #mine #seventy four #stuart skinner #edmonton oilers #oilers lb #not my favourite selections I've ever done but I'll live #more love for goalies!!!

#seventy four #corteiz #streetwear #street fashion #london #us #clint #art #fyp #indeedgoodman #design #fashion

maybe i am being immature. but the sun is burning now after a chilly morning and i hope i am not the only one of us upset. i am going to go to bed tonight overthinking this and my heart beats so fast when i feel like crying. meanwhile i know you are fast asleep because you are too tired to think of me and somehow i expend all my energy on this when i know it is dumb and not worth it and i make myself feel more hurt than i should. that is okay, i suppose, as long as i am feeling things. i just didn’t expect these new things to have the intensity they do. and yet it is an intensity without clarity. it drains me.

i am so moved and i love this feeling, this capacity for feeling, and yet i know this will not make me happy.

now i am thinking that maybe i have been inconsiderate. but it’s hard not to be when i don’t have context and am not there to pick up the context clues. is your grandfather still alive? does your father still want to die? but you were out last night with friends and seemed happy, and that is all i want to hope for, that you are happy.

i am finding that i will be okay regardless. because i can look in the mirror through tears and summon up some resiliency to turn the negative energy into something positive.

so i was writing this when you called me twenty minutes later and found that i was wrong and that i was right and i still miss you but i need to calm my heart because a doctor told me to.

#numbered #zd #seventy four

#seventy four

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