♡ @sgnchanyeol | she spots them together at the daljip and tries to pay no mind ( keyword being try ) — it’s a free country and chanyeol is allowed to have friends of the opposite sex, after all. they were nowhere near the type of relationship ( if you could even call it that ) where she even had the right to have any possessive thoughts; especially when her feelings were so one-sided. that mindset keeps her company well enough until the two of them make their way into her point of view together, dashing away with each other in tow, and there’s something about how she swears she sees a glint in his eye, something about seungah’s expression that makes her think that they have a robust need to go somewhere more private.
and she comes to believe that this is exactly what she gets for allowing her delusions to go too far — to think that there was even an inkling of a chance with him.
it’s been at least twelve hours since then, sunlight glistening past her window to illuminate rumpled sheets upon a bed, limbs peeking out every which way from underneath, the rays highlighting disheveled hair, puffy cheeks, auburn hues blankly gazing at a random corner of her wall. it’s been at least twelve hours and sian is still replaying the scene as if it were just two seconds ago, throat still constricting because it isn’t able to tell the difference. it makes her wonder how she could be so impossibly stupid to place a man atop a golden pedestal just because he was nice, just because he treats her with basic human decency that we should expect from everyone around us. she thought she learned that lesson a while ago from sehun, especially when she came to find out that it was all a mirage, and it makes her wonder if his personality is all an act as well. regardless, he’s still a man with hormones and desires and he has the right to act upon them. it would of been nice if that realization wasn’t played out to her in real time, so bluntly, cheekily. shout out to god for his sense of humor.
she was not seungah. kwon sian would never be bok seungah in any form or fashion and the girl thinks that it’s easier to cut her losses now instead of deluding herself even further because how could she even bother to even try to compete with her? someone in a completely different ballpark than the best version of herself could be, possibly. the sky lantern viewing is tonight — the one she had to build up the courage to ask chanyeol out to — and it makes her foolish for even wasting her time and energy to do so, for allowing this to be the highlight of her entire week. it’s that thought that causes her hand to fish around the covers for her phone, palm smoothing the edge of the bed only to find it forgotten upon the floor as she pushes the bags off of her eyes to gaze upon the screen. there was still more than enough time to call the whole thing off, letting out a sniff as thumbs type away at the screen for what feels like hours — typing and backspacing, wondering and doubting — before sending submit and praying that he was too preoccupied with other things to even bother with her.
⟨ ˟💌 3 ▸ SENT ⁝ 🥰🥰🥰 ⟩
‧ ‧ ‧ ➤ hi
‧ ‧ ‧ ➤ i’m not feeling well so i can’t go to the thing tonight
‧ ‧ ‧ ➤ sorry, have a good time though with someone else