#sgplove

[skinnyproblems]

So today I got this comment from a friend telling me that another friend (male) said that nobody would ever want to fuck me because I am a flat pole and that Im only bones and skin or something like that. I wasn't shocked at all, it's nothing that ive haven't heard before and it doesn't afect me because I know it's not true. My question is what can I tell him back?

I am not even infuriated by men who think that women owe them their bodies, to merely be sexually pleasing. It just saddens me because they are the ones who will end up struggling to be in long-lasting, mature relationships all because all they wanted was a sexual object.

Give him three points:

Nobody wants to f*** him anyway with that stinking attitude.

Also, my existence is not based on solely to be f***’d with anyway. That’s none of your business, it doesn’t depreciate my worth. But you know what depreciates a person’s worth? Stupidity. Not being skinny.

I think I’d be more hurt if he said no one would love me if I was only bones and skin. I’d rather be loved, appreciated, than simply f***’d. It doesn’t make me feel better as a person if an immature guy tells me because of my small assets, I am not going to appeal to the sexual tendencies of a guy. In fact, I’m glad. I want to appeal to his mind, and heart, not his penis.

[skinnyproblems]

Tbh I hate when fat or curvy women say "at least i have something he can grab" wtf! No, you dont need to be grabbed by a boy to love yourself

Relevant.

[skinnyproblems]

My friend was talking about her new bf today. She's not considered fat, she's a little chubby and insecure. But of course she labels her self as curvy. She said something like "my bf says that he likes curvy girls, and sticks are not fun to cuddle with, bonny chicks are gross." I couldn't believe she said it in front of me. I'm a skinny girl my and she pretty much put me down. I know she didn't mean to hurt my feelings. But I cannot believe that putting down skinny girl was comforting for her.

I personally wouldn’t like to date someone who body shames. Or compliments me at the expense of other women.

[skinnyproblems]

(To the anon about her guy friend making a comment about her body). I honestly find it hilarious how guys think that makes them funny or cool. Because who wants to date a guy who says rude and demeaning things like that? I also think guys show off around their guy friends to look more manly or masculine, but I seriously don't understand the appeal of being a complete asshole. Can any guys tell me why certain guys act like that?

Exactly, it’s such a put off. There’s no appeal in that, but the girls on whose side the compliment is on are clearly enjoying it.

[skinnyproblems]

I LITERALLY DONT UNDERSTAND SKINNY SHAMING, FAT SHAMING, OR BODY SHAMING IN GENERAL. IF YOU DONT LIKE MY BODY THEN OH WELL, SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU BUT ITS NOT LIKE I WAS MADE ESPECIALLY/SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU. OBVIOUSLY I LACK BODILY THINGS THAT A LOT OF GUYS WOULD DEEM AS ATTRACTIVE BUT THEN WHY IS IT NECESSARY TO MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT IT? I already know and I have trouble dealing with it so thanks for making it worse.

YOU ARE NOT DISAPPOINTING OR “LACKING” ANYTHING. He’s the kind of guy that NO woman should go out with anyway - if he is going to make immature comments. Never insult my friend’s to benefit me. I would not laugh. We are all beautiful, and we don’t live to please your objectified vision. I’ll pass.

THIS IS YOUR BODY. IT IS DAMN FREAKIN’ BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE A SLIM BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND THERE IS A GUY OUT THERE WHO WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH EVERY INCH OF YOU. Some guys objectify women so much “three things” its ridiculous but yet those girls laugh along easily.

[skinnyproblems]

"Welll.... You're really skinny, but your face is pretty and you're nice " Like I feel like it's a positive and negative thing when I hear stuff like that. Like they don't actually find me attractive.

If any guy says that to any girl, even in the form of ‘'Well… You're really fat, but your face is pretty and you’re nice.” he is silly and not worth your attention. If that doesn’t sound right, then the other doesn’t either. I can’t say to him, ”Well… you’re really fat, but your face is handsome and you’re nice.” He wouldn’t like that, so what sort of power does he have to be able to blurt out such a rude comment?

It’s a completely negative thing because:

- What does my size/weight have to do with my beauty?- Why shouldn’t it (if I wanted it to)? What’s wrong with my skinnyness? If that bothers you, then yeah sorry, YOU bother me.- My face is pretty and I’m nice?`/

Any other silly comments left so I know how to properly exit this conversation and stop any potential likeability for you? 

That’s not how any guy you would want to be with, should speak to you. I really hope you value yourself better than that. ON TO THE NEXT, girlfriend :)

[skinnyproblems]

I don't understand why people would even let men value women by their body type. I feel that is a completely wrong way to "empower" women to love their body. Saying a men love bigger or smaller women is such a generalization and doesn't add or lose value to anyone. Is that something that also bothers you? I feel like no one brings this up.

Definitely. In the blog description, I make it clear that our confidence should never derive from male acceptance or preference. That is problematic for many reasons. If a girl feels insecure because a guy has never complimented her, then she needs to realise that validation doesn’t come from men. I get compliments about other things, but not about my body (but do guys actually compliment a girl’s body directly unless its catcalling?). Hmmm

But yeah, maybe we should have a discussion about male perspectives on this blog someday then. We’ve had previous discussions on Jennifer Lawrence, All About That Bass/Anaconda and Thin Priviledge. This could be the next topic? ;)

[skinnyproblems]

I kinda feel the same way the other anon felt. Although we have all had puberty for years I still look less developed than my friends and I know that looks aren't all that matter (because I have a great personality) but I don't think that it will compromise for what I lack physically.

I understand… but looks can only get you so far in life. There’s nothing I can do to change my body. So I won’t call it ‘lack’ because then I would be comparing it to an unwarranted standard.