-sits lurkers down and pulls out a 10 month old ship-
listen here bitches it's time for a thing.
this is called, the how-i-got-100-followers-in-two-weeks thread.
let me take you back to...
Achai ( @the-house-of-freaks ) had to hide the body of this dude named Acanthus because someone killed him (not Achai).
And I had my first muse, Eliza. These were the days where my muse list was Eliza, Johnny, Jani, and Terrance.
Does anyone remember way back when Eliza was suicidal the first time, and only had 2 kids, a sex addiction, and a drinking problem?
SO, Eliza's husband Ashyer (he's here, I believe?) had just died and she'd tried to kill herself and that didn't really work out cuz, ya know, her dad is Jesus, so she was walking around all fucking crazy psycho and suicidal and she sees this nigga Achai trying to do a body dump in the drainage ditch.
So basically, she's like, fuck it I'ma help this dumb shit hide a body. So they do. And then they decide to hang out.
True romance starts with dead bodies.
At this point the mainverse breached, by the way. But yeah.
So Achai basically gives her the will to live and she just casually hides the fact that she's fucking crazy because she feels better because she's with Achai.
It's all rainbows and butterflies.
They're pushing up daisies.
BUT THEN THIS STUPID DUMBASS BITCH WHORE CUNT AELIA FUCKING COMES IN.
Basically, Eliza and Achai aren't actually dating but they're about to, but the thing is Achai had a crush on Aelia, and Aelia is the root of Satan.
She is the birth-giver of the concept of Satan.
Satan himself took nourishment from her loins.
So Aelia starts leading Achai on and Achai doesn't really know Eliza but he knows this psycho whore so he's kinda leaning towards her lil bit, lotta bit, but then he and Eliza start dating cuz Aelia was like 'lol no I hate you,' but he hangs out with Aelia again anyway,
AND AELIA GIVES HIM ENOUGH FUCKING DRUGS TO LAND HIS ASS IN THE HOSPITAL.
BECAUSE SHE'S THE ROOT OF SATAN
So, at this point, you have Eliza, who's really, really, really fucked up and needs some fucking help and is doing her goddamn best to leave the past in the past and move on with Achai, and now she doesn't know whether he's even going to be alive, and basically, she just can't handle that shit.
So she walks out on him in the hospital.
But they're dating, so everyone is like 'wow Eliza u a bitch.'
And at this point basically all of my muses and all of Taylor's muses are shipped. Tangent, you know how they call it the demon house? That was my muses.
So, it would be awkward for all parties involved if Eliza was like 'no I can't deal with this' so she goes back to him and she's kinda like 'sorry sorry' and Achai's now suicidal and Eliza is fucking crazy and fucking convinced that this nigga's gonna kill himself or something, and she's so freaked out she just stops eating. For like, a month.
As in, she didn't eat until she collapsed because she was too fucking wired up from dealing with her ex-husband dying and Achai almost dying and Aelia running around and all this fucking shit. OH AND SHE'S CHEATING ON HIM WITH JOHNNY THIS WHOLE TIME CUZ SHE USED TO BE A SEX ADDICT AND ACHAI WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH HER AND LIKE, SHE LITERALLY NEEDED IT. THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR LATER.
So she's in the hospital going O_O and Achai's like ...why did you just quit eating...? And she can't really tell him, but basically she just asks him to go to Jamaica with her, and they just fuck off and go to Jamaica for like three months so she can get better.
You don't just "get over" someone fucking dying.
So she's eating again and everything's fine enoughhh so they go back.
And Aelia's back, curse that fucking bitch.
And Aelia's pissed because Alvah killed her at some point, so she starts like, eating Alvah's soul, and Alvah was dating Helga
OH TANGENT TIME, SO, everyone fucks Johnny (or, they did last July, no one fucks him now, they just all fuck Trent and Helga and don't say anything cuz wtf incest) and Helga had cheated on Alvah with Johnny and gotten pregnant and then he passed it off as Alvah's but no one would let Alvah see Helga because "Alvah was dying and Helga would get stressed and lose the baby."
So anyway, Alvah's like 95% dead and it's all Aelia's fault and he's all mad he can't see Helga so he storms out - after causing Helga to miscarry Johnny's baby that everyone says is Alvah's??? - and leaves and Eliza's the one who tries to make him stay and she's fucking...
Of all the shit Eliza needed to not do, begging anyone to stay was the number one thing. He shook her off and left.
And he was basically like her uncle.
And she blames Aelia for that.
So basically, every time she sees Aelia she's convinced someone's going to die and shit's going to go down. It's like an omen.
So basically, Eliza's been sleeping with Johnny this whole time because sex addiction, but she doesn't tell Achai. On top of that, Achai's terrified of anyone drunk/on drugs, and Eliza's a severe alcoholic, and she's a mess, and I was consolidating verses so she kept bringing in random kids, none of whom were Achai's, obviously.
And Achai kinda goes with it, because by now he knows she's a little crazy. But Eliza can't be drunk around him, she doesn't feel comfortable having her kids around him, and she's fucking someone else. Recipe for disaster.
One, Achai gets a job offer to become a tattoo artist in LA. He takes the job assuming Eliza will just go with him.
Two, Johnny gets Eliza pregnant. I think it was Johnny. Someone did, anyway. She slept with a lot of people.
So you have Achai saying 'let's move to LA' and you have Eliza saying 'holy shit I'm pregnant' and Achai saying 'dude I'm a virgin what the serious fuck.'
And Eliza wants to break up with him at this point anyway and go be with Johnny (because this was before Johnny was as nuts as he is now, and always why he's as nuts as he is now), so she's just kinda like 'aight peace' and Achai's like, 'you're a fucking bitch, and Johnny tried to kill you (that's another story), so if that's what you wanna do, welp, bye.'
So Joliza happens. They have like 5 kids. They also have 2 kids that aren't with each other but that they say are Joliza kids, and those ones don't go straight into being adult muses.
This would be Helgie and Gwen? Yeah.
So, basically, Johnny and Eliza are sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, and then Johnny fucking snaps one day, goes off his meds, and throws Helgie and Gwen out a window in front of Eliza's eyes.
Eliza tortures the ever-living hell out of Johnny.
Remind me to do a Rileycanon on Joliza, btw, that's a beautiful story.
Johnny leaves. They haven't spoken since.
Everyone else in the library leaves, except Eliza.
Up until this point everyone lived in the library. They were really connected and nuclear. And then Helgie and Gwen die and everyone's fucking gone, they have apartments, they have their own place, they're just--fuck that.
Eliza goes from alcoholic to crackwhore.
No one wants to acknowledge that Johnny belongs in a padded room, so they turn a blind eye and see nothing.
Achai comes back, and by now Eliza realizes that she's fucked up. And she hasn't seen him in a while, but she's a total mess and she's looking at him and talking about everything that's happened, knowing it's all her own fault, and she kind of realizes that if she'd just stayed with Achai she would have been fine.
She would have been fine.
So she lets him check her into rehab and she gets clean and Achai makes sure she stays clean and she's doing what she's supposed to, and she graduates from the program and now they're living together and still dating.
She's probably been out of rehab for 3 weeks.
She hasn't even talked to anyone in her family yet.
She's just trying to stay clean day by day and be the woman she ought to be for Achai.
That was actually the condensed version xD
{casually tags shadowedxlove}