#shadowtravellerswriting

[nightmindstuff]

I could do anything right now and nobody would know nor care. Because, who does? Who does give a single fuck about me? A god damn care? Yeah, maybe they do. But it doesn't feel like it. Nothing, feels like it gives a damn about me.

Maybe I am just feeling that way. My mind tricking me into it. But maybe it is true.

Maybe I am at fault myself for how everything is going.

But why is it only me, where it feels like it isn't goinf as it should.

Everyone is working hard for their life they have. And they deserve it but I am working hard too. I am trying my best. Maybe it isn't as good and much as others do but I still ddserve a reward, ain't I?

So why does everything feels like a punishment?

Why does everything I do feels like a total failure?

Like I can't do anything right. Wether it is for me or others?

Why can't I have what I want? Feel how I want? Be who I want? Look like I want? Why does nothing goes how I desperatly wish for it?

Why.

Why?

Why?!

WHY?!

...

...

...

I feel like dying, again.

[nightmindstuff]

Nightly thoughts #1

sorry for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes English isn’t my first language so if there are failures, please let me know Tuesday, 12.02.1912:06 AM

Inspired by bmth and a convo at late night

Most people don't understand them. Don't understand how their Relationship can work. How they can last. How they found each other. That is, because no one tries to understand.

She has insecurities. Even tho she hides them, behind a mask of a foul mouth and bad jokes. Sarcasm and black humor. He knows them. He found a way, to deal with them on his own. With his own way. She need attention. Almost 24/7. She gets clingy and need to be reassured. Because her insecurities and her overworking mind are destroying her.He gives her all the attention she needs. Gives her the support she needs and don't mind her clingyness one bit.

He is confident. He knows how good he looks and how sympathetic he is. But everyone just sees his shell. His appearance, but nobody really is interested in what is inside his mind. Nobody listen to him.She is interested. His look was, what draws her to him in the first place. But what made her fall in love, is the person that is inside that shell. The thoughts that run inside his mind. She could listen to him all day about everything.He is always there with a smile. Nobody really sees how he breaks down because nobody really cares enough to see it. She cares. She is there and sees his breakdowns. She won't leave him alone. Even if it's just sitting next to him. She is never leaving him.

They aren't perfect, but they know, that they are humans. Not perfect. Having failures. But they know, how to deal with each other. Talking and listening to each other. Even if others can't understand it. It doesn't matter because they do. They would go through hell for each other, if it meant to be at the side of the other one.