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Frodo is sooooo high on spider venom
Gorbag: What are you doing here?
Frodo, whispering wide eyed: Michel Delving...
Shagrat: What? What is he talking about?
Frodo: Capital of the shire...
Gorbag: WHY. ARE. YOU. HERE?
Frodo: I like... apples
Shagrat: There are no apples in Mordor!
Frodo: ... damn
I am in great need of a fanfic where Shagrat and Gorbag do run away together.
It would be glorius. I think it should be a thing. I think they should be the next big ship. I think they'd make a great couple's cosplay.
Unfortunately, I can no-longer be relied on to write anything, so I probably shouldn't complain...
They finally ran away together
What do you mean Gorbag and Shagrat are dead? They obviously ran away together with their fluffy warg friend! Look:
Aren't they cute? The world needs more of them!
Schlocktober day 4: Peeling Sunburn (Shagbag)
Shagrat leaned his head against the cool cave wall. It was way to hot outside to sleep. The sun was burning. Maybe it was a warning. Maybe the dark master had sent its cruel rays to torment Shagrat and Gorbag as a punishment for their betrayl. Didn't he control fire? Yes he did. The cave did little to shelter the two orcs from the light and the heat outside. Oh, the heat! It awoke the urge to scream in Shagrat.
"Disgusting weather, heh?", Gorbag growled suddenly, from his place at the opposite wall. Shagrat lazily moved his head to look at his lover, then he nodded. The last few days had been rainy and the Uruk-Hai and the orc had slept huddled together, now it was way too hot to even think about that. "I feel this close away from bursting into flames", Shagrat mumbled, raising his hand to show Gorbag the miniscule space between his fingers.
Gorbag laughed. "You know what this reminds me of?", he asked. Shagrat shook his head, trying to make more contact with the cooling wall. "It reminds me of the summers before the eye came back. It was hot like piss, just like now. My siblings and I were young and dumb as rocks..."
Gorbag laughed again. Shagrat simply growled and nodded. He wasn't nearly as old as Gorbag. Even if he had been alive during those summers, he must have spent them in Saruman's realm, waiting for the moment the wizard would reveal them. "So what dumb shit did you do, Gor?", the Uruk-Hai asked, scratching a scar on his leg. He could feel the sweat running down his body in disgusting little rivers. Whoever had invented weather like this needed to be punished in some deep, dirty hole.
"We'd go outside, the others and me", Gorbag snorted. Shagrat nearly scratched the scar bloody again, as he flinched in suprise. "You what? How bloody fucking stupid were you?" Gorbag nodded and wiped his sweaty hair from his forehead. The picture it painted was pure sex. If it had been any less hot, Shagrat would have jumped him right there. "Yeah, we'd go outside, shirtless and we'd lay in the sun, face down, as long as we could bare. Then we fled back inside", the older orc explained.
"How the fuck did you get this old?", hissed Shagrat, baring his pointy teeth. Gorbag giggled. "Well, I got smarter. Anyway, in the night, we'd go out again, with a big, fat metal spoon and we'd dip it in the icy water. And when the spoon was all cold and shit we'd hit each other on the backs with it", he chuckled. "But weren't you burned to a crisp?", Shagrat wanted to know, curiously leaning foreward. Gorbag nodded, barely able to continue his story from laughing too hard. "Oh yeah, we were burned. It hurt like crazy, but that was part of the game, you see. We'd hit each other with the spoon and the burned skin would get stuck on it and be peeled right off. Whoever shed the biggest piece of skin won!"
Shagrat shook his head laughing. "This. This is the dumbest shit I've ever heard from you. And I've heard you call that big fat spider 'not that bad'." Immediately Gorbag began to defend himself. In the sky, the sun began to set, as Shagrat and Gorbag argued. They both knew how this would end. No walking would be done that night. But who could deny them a bit of fun?
List of my Schlocktober writing plans (so far), starting on the first of Oktober:
Day 1: Inapropriate use of Labubus -> Thranto
Day 2:
Day 3: Burning hair -> Glorestor
Day 4: Peeling Sunburn -> Shagbag
Day 5:
Day 6: Defiling a Puritan -> Anidala
Day 7: Too many legs -> Kalluzeb
Day 8: Lingarie made of Crabs -> Voronwe x Maeglin
Day 9: Last time -> Grishnakh x Witch King
Day 10:
Day 11:
Day 12:
Day 13: Cactus insertion -> Angbang + Manwe (involuntary)
Day 14: Predator/Predator -> Farawyn
Day 15: Butterplay -> Nienna x Arien
Day 16:
Day 17: Pain without pleasure -> Darth Maul
Day 18: Weakness kink -> Panthea x Gargona
Day 19:
Day 20:
Day 21: Asparagus -> Hammer of harp
Day 22: Autocannibalism -> Carrie White
Day 23: Sterilisation Ritual -> Luke Skywalker and Ezra's Loth-Cats
Day 24:
Day 25: Handcuffs (under arrest) -> Kanera
Day 26: Blue Balls -> Anakin becoming Gil Galad
Day 27: Salt Daddy -> Tuor x Idril
Day 28:
Day 29: Clowns -> Star Wars rebels
Day 30: Pet work -> Silvergifting
Day 31: Ghost of a Sex offender -> Frodo vs Nazgul
More might be added, if I have more ideas...
OH MY GOD I ADORE SHAGRAT AND GORBAG!
I swear I have the outline for a multi-chaptered fic about them somewhere in my drafts (def hasn't been there for like 5 years...) and istg I will write it some day
A fellow Shagbag truther!!!
I'd love to read this fic if you ever publish it! (and don't worry, we don't speak about how long I've left my writing untouched. We've all been there...). I just think we should maybe all just treat the orcs like little guys the way we do the other characters. This includes me, I need to show the orcs more love (then maybe they'd be more loyal to His Lordship).
Do you know any Shagbag fanfictions? I NEED some!
Alas, I don't know of any. Mainly because I don't read fic very often so I haven't gone looking for these two. I really should...
Anyone any Shagbag recommendations??
Happy Shagrat x Gorbag day to those that celebrate! (Me)
