(au, established shance) “Ready?” Shiro asked, stern and commanding.
“Baby, I was born ready,” Lance responded with a purr and a cocky smirk that made Shiro roll his eyes. He nudged the other man with his elbow, and Lance made a show of stumbling dramatically. “Interference! Ref, I demand a penalty!”
Shiro ignored him, although he could hide the smile that pulled at his lips due to his boyfriend’s antics. “Ok, watches are synced. We start in five...four...three...two-”
Lance planted a swift kiss on his cheek. “Love you, babe,” he said quickly before shooting off ahead of Shiro.
“Now who’s cheating!” Shiro yelled, laughing.
The two men burst through the department store doors, Lance a few steps ahead and Shiro following closely behind. Once they were inside they veered off, Lance making towards the children’s department, and Shiro to the party section, racing through the store as if they were on supermarket sweep. They weaved around shelves, displays and other shoppers, many of which ignored them, although several shot them disapproving looks.
Shiro reached his goal first, and after pausing for only a moment to watch Lance bound up an escalator (yes, he was checking out his boyfriend's ass. It was allowed), he turned his attention to the shelves and began his search.
------
Skidding to a halt, Lance glanced around, getting his bearings before he shot off in towards the toy section, which proved to be a treasure trove. There were all sorts of tat and over the top, gaudy items on sale, some of which the thing he was looking for, and others that could be adapted. There was so much choice.
“I have this in the bag.” Full of confidence Lance picked a large squid plush toy off the shelf and rested it on his head, letting the tentacles dangle around his face. Catching sight of a child nearby, from the corner of his eye, who was very obviously staring at him, Lance let out a groan. “Oooh. I have a splitting headache.” He turned to face the little girl, holding his head as if he didn’t notice the squid.
The girl stared at him for a moment, then laughed before running off calling for her mother to tell her all about the squid she saw eating a man's head in the middle of the store.
It was good and would serve his purpose well. But it wasn’t good enough. Lance pulled the squid off his head and set it back on the shelf. No, he needed something better.
------
Shiro found his choice limited, although what was available, was quite something. He ignored the more boring choices, which narrowed his options considerably, making his decision a little easier.
A glance at his watch revealed that he had time. Enough to go through each of his few options. The first hat was a burger, one that encircled his head with a hole for his face. It was oversized and comical, but too obvious. He set it aside.
The next hat was a large orange and white traffic cone. It was gaudy, but again, too simple.
Finally, he tried on the one that was his favourite. The one he'd been planning to go with anyway, but he'd wanted to try all his option, to be sure. It was perfect.
Happy with his choice, he ran back to the front of the store, the chosen hat bouncing comically on his head as he ran.
-------
“Well, what do you think?” Lance asked proudly, standing tall, his hands on his hips and his head held high. On top of his head was a big, pink stuffed unicorn head, with a glittery cotton candy mane and a silver horn.
“I’ve never wanted you more.”
“You could say,” Lance paused, grinning slyly, “that I’m feeling horny.”
Shiro snorted and tried to stifle his laughter with his hand. His hat, a large rainbow arch that curved over his head with little blue birds 'flying' cross it, ending in two fluffy clouds, one by each ear, wobbled precariously.
“And you’re my rain-beau.” Lance delivered the line with a pair of finger guns.
Shiro didn't stand a chance. His hand dropped away from his mouth, and he broke out in a laugh that had him bent double, clutching his stomach.
“May I help you, gentlemen?”
Shiro immediately stood up straight and to attention. Lance appeared cowed for a moment, but he was the first to recover, his confidence and charm quickly returning. “Actually you can,” he answered with a grin, throwing his arm around Shiro’s shoulders. “Who wore it better?”
The salesperson stared at him for a moment and then appeared to decide that arguing wasn’t worth the effort. “Am I supposed to decide who looks the most or least ridiculous.”
“Most,” both Shiro and Lance chimed in unison.
A small smile tugged at the man’s lips, his stern façade breaking. “Well then,” he hummed thoughtfully, considering both of them for a tense moment, “I think I have to go with the guy with the unicorn head on his head.”
“YES!” Lance whooped, jumped up and punched the air.
“Fine. I humbly accept defeat,” Shiro sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging.
The salesperson laughed now, shaking his head. “Please return those items to where you found them if you don’t plan on buying them.”
“We will,” Shiro promised, and the man turned away, leaving them alone.
“So, do you think I should get this, for tonight?” Lance asked, pointing to the unicorn hat he wore while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“Please no.”
“Hey, now. This is my victory, and I get to do anything I want to you,” Lance purred. He stepped closer to Shiro and wrapped his arms around the other man's neck he pulled him almost obscenely close, arching his body and pressing himself against the broad, muscular chest -he smacked Shiro in the face with the unicorn's nose.
They laughed, breaking apart. “Ok, maybe we’ll leave the hat,” Lance conceded. “Let’s put these back, then we can go home, and I can claim my prize.”
