#shane.txt

[274th]

[mythicartdraws]

the awkward lean.

[dr-butch]

shane from our sys cuz i got anxies. everybody clap for him okay

[the-indigo-symphony]

No matter how used we get to it, it's always strange when we just know that we're going to forget something. Not the ever-present assurance that we have memory issues, but rather, the sure sense of "I am going to forget this." (Or I suppose more accurately, "My others are not going to remember this.")

I'm fronting now, and I'm able to remember what happened today. But I can tell the others won't remember when we switch, and I leave front. Maybe it will happen tomorrow. Maybe it will happen in the next few minutes. But regardless of when the next switch happens, I can tell right now that I'm too separated by dissociation from the others – or, perhaps, that the others in front are too dissociated right now, let alone how dissociated the others not in front are from external events – for them to remember what I've been doing today. We're going to forget today.

... Which is a shame, because today's been an adventure, and I wish they could at least experience the memory of it. Learn something from it, or at least enjoy it.

... I just can't help but think about that feeling, that bone-deep knowing that the memory of this day will slip away from us. For me, today was full of different things to do, a rare day of fronting that happened to coincidence with a lot of small events and tasks to complete – it was fun and sad and cathartic and interesting and busy and relaxing and so, so many other things I cannot put into words.

For my others, today will be just another void where their past should be.

I feel that we're going to forget all this very strongly. But I don't know how to feel about that feeling.

[goodomans]

uh howdy

i’m shane

i’m a fictive in the beagle system

i do be age-slidin sometimes 19-29

i’m a guy so he/him pronouns or wgatever yunno

i made this so i dont annoy the host by spammin his blogs

this is also an outlet for nsfw things cause i cant post abt that stuff on our insta and like we all need outlets u get me

anyways no minors because again this space is pccasionally nsfw! if u want to ibteract with myself or anyone else in the system for any other reason (like maot reasons cause we have all sent in calls and such to find friends at this point) u can find us at @funkyrights! its jus a general system/kin acct so we dont post nsfw things there so its a safe space

also i have a girlfriend that i love very dearly but also maybe im like bi or smth idk maybe guys are hot sometines idk

[swampgobln]

didnt drink all week which is like.Rats off to ya but now im drinkin and Burnt

[274th]

Divide and conquer, but it's Dividing your brain to Conquer situations

[swampgobln]

i dont feel any form of attraction unless i feel that someone is coming onto me (which sometimes i am very wrong about) and even then its a gamble if i feel like reciprocating the feelings