seen from China
seen from South Korea
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from Poland
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Ukraine
seen from Brazil
seen from South Korea
seen from China
seen from South Korea
seen from Japan
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Ukraine
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
no bc you KNOW that ilya did to some degree view fucking shane's asshole as a conquest of sorts. you KNOW he viewed fucking shane as deflowering him and defiling him in the most wellmeaning way possible. he doesn't view shane as less-than or dirty or slutty for letting ilya fuck his ass but he DOES feel a sense of pride and ownership about it. he IS of the personal opinion that shane's hole belongs to him. that's His hole.
2011 is a rough year bc as a part of his campaign to get access to ShaneHole Ilya drunkenly texts him a YouTube link to I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island with no context, just “this could be u”, and it gets SUCH a good reaction that he keeps fucking doing it
It’s very unfortunate for Shane that in 2013, after Ilya leaves him in the stairwell, he willingly of his own volition chooses to go upstairs, lay down in bed, stare at the ceiling for a bit, open the link, and let the song wash over him. The key change is a religious experience.
ilya really is fucking obsessed with shane's hole to a ridiculous degree like before they get out of bed in the morning ilya probably scoots down the bed underneath the covers and shane's like "what are you doing 🤨" and ilya's like "saying good morning" and thumbs open shane's cheeks and presses the smallest sweetest little kiss to shane's little pucker and shane's like "oh my fucking god you're so WEIRD" and ilya's like "good morning shane's hole <3"
the concept of shane referring to himself as ilya's hole.... like one day he's just feeling like shit maybe he lost a game maybe he's feeling a little down on himself and he just wants to feel brainless and weightless and Not Exist for a little while. tells ilya all soft and vulnerable "can i just be your hole? please. just wanna be a hole for you." and ilya's taking shane's face in his hands and murmuring, "yes sweetheart we can do that" and the next thing he knows he's being bent over the kitchen counter and spread apart. ilya spits and thumbs it into his opening, squeezes one of shane's cheeks, states matter-of-factly, "this? mine. my hole." and shane closes his eyes and presses his face to the counter and groans, "your hole. i'm your hole."
Ariana Grande Donut Incident was actually her homage to an almost identical incident two years earlier involving a coked-out Ilya Rozanov and a Cronut.
(He’s banned from that part of SoHo for life)
post marriage i do think ilya has a folder hidden deep on his phone called 'shane hole' and it's just pics of shane's hole #mytruth
