#sharedlives

[logsofephemera]

weekend with the tumblr girliepops ⋆.˚🦋༘⋆

disclaimer: i only meant to recount the events of our bonding, but i ended up reflecting and reminiscing too, kaya baka medyo mabigat basahin at times hehe

💐 the night before, i couldn’t catch sleep. it felt like i was about to join a field trip... having a mix of nervousness and excitement. i was also anxious about possibly being late for the meet-up with mel and faye. since we were coming from the south, we really set aside a big chunk of time for travel.

💐 grateful to mel for offering us a ride. the trip was smooth and comfy, her playlist was cool, and the three of us had a soft catch-up about our recent ganaps. on the way pa lang, i already had a long list of what i’m thankful for.

💐 it wasn’t my first time hanging out with mel and faye so i felt relaxed with them. but i was still a little anxious about the meetup because i was about to meet, and even talk with, most of them for the first time.

💐 coming out of a friendship fallout two years ago, i’ve become more aware of how awkward i can get in meeting new people. but as soon as they arrived one by one, i just knew in my heart how lucky i was to have the privilege of breathing the same air with these people. with them, everywhere feels like a safe space.

💐 i also felt safe to be clingy around these wonderful and beautiful ladies. i know i could be too much for many, but i just love loveee how we look after one another. like when someone gets distracted and another gets left behind, agad agad may hahanap. that’s really big for me as the eldest daughter who’s used to looking after others. and hearing about the struggles they’ve been through, i saw why... everyone’s experience felt like a mirror of one another.

💐 and how comfortable i felt in my own skin... from being fresh at the start to looking hulas later on. i used to grow up so insecure about myself, but being with them reminded me how far i’ve come. the version of me who showed up that day is no longer hiding, but almost healed.

💐 and how everyone could finish each other’s sentences because of how deeply we related... that was something else. it felt like proof of how connected we already were, even long before this day happened.

💐 how laughter came so easily, softening even the heaviest stories. no matter how jolly we sounded while sharing our past and present hurts, i felt every word so deeply. behind the aesthetic and the unrestrained laughter, everyone has carried hardships no one ever saw coming. i respect and love you all so much 🥺 and i can’t wait to share tight hugs with everyone next time.

💐 and how soundly we all slept that night. puyat and pagod for sure, but still having that kind of energy reserve for everyone??? grabe. i’m so sooo grateful.

💐 on the flip side, i truly had so much fun. within the first hour pa lang, halos di na kami matapos sa kakatawa. sumakit yung pisngi ko, tapos kinabukasan paos na sa dami ng daldal na pinagkasya sa limited time hahahaha. can’t wait to do this again, hopefully with the rest na di nakasama. kahit after being together overnight, grabe pa rin yung sepanx. next time, i’ll make sure to recharge and have extra energy for everyone.

thank you, girlies! salamat sa buhay niyo 🫶🏻 @sonderreverie @m3lisssss4 @thespacesbetweenherbecoming @katoptrisse @kimhortons @aerystotle @inkedbydawn

[logsofephemera]

I had the privilege of spending yesterday with Faye, Mel, and Alea ❤️

We joined a floral arrangement and acrylic painting workshop in Silang. The whole day was filled with so much laughter but I swear I ran out of brain cells just trying to make sense of the chaos I was creating with my bouquet and canvas. Bat kase walang kopyahan HAHAHAHA eme

This morning, I found myself wanting a revenge activity (to redeem myself and recreate both the bouquet and the painting properly next time). Hirap pag nagfifixate talaga XD

While there were a few aspects of the workshop that fell a little short of expectations, they hardly mattered. There was never a dull moment with these three. Thank you for welcoming me to the Eldest Daughter’s Club 🥰

[logsofephemera]

Celebrating this special milestone as husband and wife—our first fun (walk-)run together, woohoo! 🏅

Our afternoon walks have been our constant serotonin booster, and today’s run proved just as exhilarating. There’s something magical about losing ourselves in the rhythm of running—pure joy, energy, and fulfillment. Nakakaadik pala! No dull moments, just good vibes 🌱

A proud moment too, running alongside our dearest friends—from Milo Runs to this unforgettable experience. Super sulit ang paggising nang napakaaga.

Hay, sobrang siksik at meaningful ng mga bonding moments with my connections lately. Here’s to more shared adventures ahead! 🎉✨

[logsofephemera]

table centerpiece-slash-trivet-with 🌸 coasters

i nearly forgot, but ica reminded me during one of our usual video calls that i hadn’t shared the update on this project yet.

in our group, we have this unspoken rule called dugtungan—we always continue where we left off. we talk about each other’s old ig stories, bring up the last topic, or revisit unfinished kwentos from our last catch-up. for many reasons, ruth, ica, jerald, and i promised to be more present in each other’s lives. and this promise is truly working its magic in nurturing our friendship.

our call was last friday pa, but it was only yesterday that i remembered i haven’t shared this yet.

i finished this project on my birthday last month. we’ve already used it a few times, but i’m still super careful with it. ayoko lang matalsikan or madumihan. these beginner crochet pieces may not be perfect, but i really love them. i made them with so much heart.

i posted this handmade piece on fb yesterday. i have an album there for the things i create. just for documentation and safekeeping.

then a tita commented, “ang ganda! magkano pagawa?”

to be honest, i still haven’t considered accepting commissions. crocheting is just one of my ways to slow down and feel good. it gives me a kind of joy that’s hard to explain.

i’m getting more confident, and i know i can recreate better designs (thanks yt tuts and some freehand knowledge from doing things over and over). but a big part of me still wants to do this freely. without pressure, deadlines, or having to explain my prices.

i love hearing suggestions on how to improve. i really want to get better. and i don’t want money to get in the way of that learning process. at least, not yet. thankfully, lance and i have talked about this before, just in passing, but it helped me process things today.

i don’t mind making pieces for loved ones for free. every handmade item i create is a small gift of love and good energy. but for others, i know i should charge. it’s just... not that easy, apparently??? i almost offered my labor for free after overthinking and doing all the math.

buti na lang, i’m learning to choose growth and self-love. so i disassembled the piece, weighed each item, checked photos to estimate hours, measured the size, and added a fair profit margin. the entire process felt like i was stuck in a blackhole: torn between standing firm and wanting to lower my price. i even thought, ang dali na lang sana ipamigay 🥲

but no. i pushed through. and in the middle of all the doubts, i realized how much i love this new confidence i’m building. because in the end, i chose not to shrink myself or downplay my worth.

after thinking it through, i sent her my terms and shared more photos and information of my work.

she declined. said her daughter already bought something from the UK.

but i didn’t feel sad. instead, i felt this warm kind of relief. it felt like a sign that i did the right thing. and the timing was so perfect. just days ago, i reshared faye’s post about pricing that matches our values, time, skills and energy. maybe that helped me stay firm.

and honestly, i’m proud. even though i’m not actively selling my work, people are starting to ask. even if this tita didn’t push through, i’m grateful. because she saw value in what i made. she believed it was worth paying for.

[logsofephemera]

ever since i began taking my hormone replacement medicine, i developed a habit of taking my 1-hour waiting time before food intake as my me time. i mostly wake up earlier than lance kasi ayokong ma-burden siya to wait for me before he could eat (though in many instances na siya yung mas nauuna, he’s been very understanding and patient, still waiting for me so we can eat together).

earlier, while having my own precious shenanigans, i spent my countdown reflecting on the events and mostly, #sharedlives moments with my husband, our family, and dear friends for the first half of 2025. and i couldn’t help myself but be emotional. my heart is filled with so much gratitude over those opportunities to spend time with these people.

it’s just recently when i became focused and truly intentional in showing up for myself. slowly, i found these people showing up for me too (or maybe i just became much much aware).

i’ve always been the kaladkarin friend... kahit dis-oras ng gabi. kahit malayo. kahit sakto lang ang budget for one drink and pamasahe papunta at pauwi. until i found myself in isolation due to a couple of personal reasons, and had to drop all the missions of showing up for other people altogether. dang. i couldn’t even show up for myself.

but something shifted last year. i was able to pick up my broken pieces and piece them back together, with bruises, marks and lines and all. now, as i gradually found solace and comfort in doing things alone, i rediscovered my kaladkarin self once more. i still love showing up for my people. maybe even more now than before. only now, i do so with more intention. not everyone, not every time.

but i can say that everyone i let in my life is someone i deeply cherish, someone i’m grateful to grow and share seasons with.

[logsofephemera]

after a weekend date with april last saturday, i realized how much i’ve missed joining crafting workshops.

then last night, after we played roblox (yasss, grow a garden and 99 nights in the forest while on discord!), april asked us if we’d consider joining them this august. lance said yes, and the next thing i know, we (the wives) were already filling out the registration form.

i’ll definitely write more about our couple friends/adult playmates/sleepover buddies in a different post. but for now, i just want to say how happy we were last night because one of the things we talked about when we first met is finally getting ticked off our list.

ang biruan namin, kaya naging magkaklase yung husbands namin nung college—para talaga pagtagpuin kami 💌

we’re sooo looking forward to our ramen bowl making activity next month ✨

[logsofephemera]

‘Your mind is a garden and your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds.’

[logsofephemera]

🍒 before we took root dito sa south, i used to wonder if i’d ever have a friend from around here who’s in a similar season of life as us. we have nice and courteous neighbors so far, but we’re not really on the same page, and it feels kind of awkward to initiate a friendship, especially since dumating ako dito na i wasn’t in my best self. for a while, i couldn’t imagine it happening anytime soon, especially since my dearest friends live elsewhere.

🍒 yesterday, one wishlist came true: to be able to hang out with a trusted friend na malapit lang din samin. we’ve been hosting for our loved ones. kaya nung magyaya si faye na bumisita sa kanila, i almost melted. hosting family and friends takes time and effort. kahit gaano pa kayo kafamiliar sa isa’t isa, we cannot take for granted the mental load of preparing for the visitors’ needs and comfort. and i am privileged to experience just that.

🍒 we shared delicious meals together. eating homecooked food is a whole level of love language. kaya nung sinabi ni faye na ipagluluto nila ako ni leo ng galbijjim, nilook forward ko talaga yun. and to finally get to eat the meal they prepared, hay, tastes heavenly. madali lang ako ma-impress sa luto ng iba kasi basic cooking lang alam ko. isa rin talaga ito sa mga nagpapasaya sakin. same feels tuwing umuuwi kami sa mga magulang namin sa taguig at batangas.

🍒 comfort place namin ni lance yung mary grace, pero kahapon ko lang natikman yung sea salt caramel vanilla cake nila. salamat sa recommendation ni faye. we enjoyed the cake + tea (literal na tsaa at chika 😝). itong tea party bonding na ito yung nagpatunay na graduate na talaga kami sa sobrang tamis na pagkain HAHAHAHA

🍒 nakapaglakad-lakad pa kami sa labas nung bumaba na yung araw. para sakin, pinakahighlight ng village nila faye yung walking path. ang aliwalas din kasi napapalibutan ng maraming puno at halaman yung mga common areas. hindi ko tuloy maiwasang macompare dito samin... pero well, kanya-kanya lang talaga ng selling point kada developer. narealize ko rin kung ano yung mga hindi naman namin bet. kailangan din talaga aralin muna mabuti kung saan bibili ng bahay at lupa.

🍒 bilib talaga ako kila faye at leo kasi nawitness ko kung gaano nila kamahal yung mga alaga nilang pusa. kitang-kita naman kung gaano kalusog at ka-feel at home ang mga bebengs. even yung stray na napadaan, mukhang ramdam na kila faye yung best option for survival niya. wala lang. kung sa lifetime na to eh naging pusa rin ako, i’ll definitely head straight sa bahay nila lols

🍒 nitong mga nagdaang araw, para akong lantang halaman. i have so many things lined up to do. things i’m genuinely excited about. pero dahil sa negative aura that lingers around me, i felt paralyzed. ang hirap din i-process kasi ginagaslight ko na naman sarili ko, thinking na baka delulu moments lang ’to. may kamukha kasi to eh. similar sa fallout with my former best friend. naiwaksi ko naman na yun. hindi ko lang gets bakit may paganito uli at may ibang taong involved naman this time. and the more i brush it off, lalo akong hindi makatulog.

🍒 hindi ko naman agenda mag-unload sana, pero ganun siguro talaga when you’re within a safe energy. kusa akong nag-open up kay faye. and even if i was only able to share just enough about what’s been weighing me down, i felt seen and heard, kasi bago ko pa maikanta yung buong istorya, she already recognized where i was coming from.

🍒 yung hindi ko na kailangang magpaliwanag nang todo to the point na i’d end up sounding too defensive, even for my own perspective... dalangin ko talaga ’to. di ko na sinasara yung sarili ko sa pag-meet ng new people, but i wish to only retain a small circle of friends whom i can comfortably share my vulnerability with. what a great surprise, kasi even in our 30s, possible pa rin talaga to have more friends like this.