Shared Time
I’m the wife of an inmate, his crime was very minor but he’s served for quite some time now. He should be getting out soon, maybe a couple of months, but I figured I'd explain what I have realized since he's been in jail. My sister is the wife to a soldier and my brother himself is a soldier. I was watching my sister when her husband was deployed last year back in May. The care packages, the waiting of phone calls, video calls, emails, and the wait for time. The time he returned home. I’m watching it now even as my brother is deployed with his girlfriend. It seems to be a constant wait. Which is what I’m doing. Sending money for commissary, putting money on the phone, waiting for a phone call, waiting for visits(the video calls) and waiting for him to come home.
It’s a difficult thing not knowing when they’re coming home. I’d hate to compare to the military but even when I go online I see my own brothers girlfriend anxiously waiting for him to return home. Waiting for a letter, a phone call, or some form of connection. The difference is my brother has no choice on when he leaves but my husband did. He committed a crime. I made the choice to stay with him after he went to jail, after all I loved him. My brother will come home the same time my husband gets released out of jail. It’s funny how time has a way of showing us things. My brother deployed around the same time my husband was arrested. Knowing that they are about to come home fills my heart with joy.
What usually happens when your loved one comes home?...
Normally there’s an amount of joy that swirls itself around a room. You can’t stop hugging them, kissing them, loving on them, and talking to them. You are usually inseparable. Then after a certain amount of time you start in with the arguing and bickering and before you know it one is sleeping on the couch and the other in another room. Or they are taking off going to their family and friends house. I’ve always wondered why this happened. I guess maybe you give all your heart in the first 2 weeks and then once that phase is over then the reality sets in. Then before you know it they are gone again. Whether it be; deployment, jail, divorce, or separating. We get bored in our world. It isn’t ever the same to hear, “I’ve been married for 30 years, 50 years, or even 10 years” anymore. You go through all these hard times of just waiting then when the wait is over you get tired and end it. So what if you spend your whole life just waiting....or seeming like you are just waiting. Waiting for him/her to come home, waiting for the next moment you feel the sun on your skin, waiting for that next kiss, waiting for a hug, and waiting to hear, “I love you.” once more. Because in life you are always going to be, “Just waiting.”
