#shattered...

[31-radical]

Maybe I’ll get a replacement Valentine’s Day mug after my 1st one met a tragic end over a year ago

[krayolablue91]

Trying to calm down.... Beyond all the normal stuff, and despite what I thought prior, actually seeing my Grandpa do really irrational behaviors is...Traumatizing in a way. I'm somewhat used to him going off and saying terrible things or doing somewhat stupid things, but this is different....I mean, even when he says terrible things, you don't really get used to it, in the sense that it feels okay, but you kind of aren't as shocked when he does stuff..Well kind of. Him just talking about doing things and actually doing them though... He smashed those pictures. I think it throws off my mind even more because of those pictures...Those pictures, those frames which in my mind were momentos to be treasured and kept "forever". Unchanging. They're pretty old (at least older than me so I have memories of them always being there basically), my aunt and uncles high school graduation pictures were the ones I am pretty sure he smashed... My grandma has/ had them displayed in the back behind other pictures. She also has there baby pictures: All five displayed above our sofa...She has the other five frames of them when they're a little older with their bronzed shoes on her desk..... These things which I thought would be "forever"...He just smashed.... These pictures....Even though I often just pass by them and it is like "whatever, they are there." It bothers me.... This house I live in, has been for the most part where I have lived since childhood. It's familiar and "safe" even before when my Grandpa was a jerk.... I could always count on those things being there. I didn't have to worry, Gramm would always be there.....

[kirrrrshhh]

Everything is going to go all wrong. -.-

Sigh...