What my grandma taught me...
Both my grandparents are immigrants from Egypt. In the late 60′s they moved to this country, like all other immigrants, in hopes of building a better future for themselves and their kids. My grandmother graduated from college in Egypt with a degree in accounting. But, when she first came to America she knew no English and could hardly do anything without the help of my grandfather. My grandmother a strong, intelligent, independent woman, couldn't bare the thought of depending on others do even the simplest of tasks. She started taking English classes and reading newspapers, and translating TV shows as she watched them in English. I remember her telling me that she learned phrases from TV shows and then would try to use them in her everyday life. She went on to receive her master’s degree as well and eventually entered corporate America.
Not until this passed weekend did I realize how successful she was by the time she reached retirement. She worked her way up the ladder at Arthur Young, CPA firm in Manhattan, which eventually merged to Ernst & Young. This was one of the best CPA firms in the country. She told she was one of 16 head accounts at the firm, and she was the only non-white male on the head team. I asked her if this ever posed any struggles, and one memory came to mind. It was her first year on the head team, sitting with the “big boys” as she said. At the end of every year their came big bonus checks, holiday parties and gifts. Normally at the holiday party there would be lots of drinking and the boss would give a bottle of wine to everyone on the team. She was Muslim, so she couldn't drink or except a gift like that. She went to her fellow male colleagues seeking advice on how she should share this with their boss without seeming rude or ungrateful. They all laughed at her and told her to just accept it and stop being dramatic because “it was nothing.”
She couldn't just ignore it though, and the next day she deiced to just address this concern. She stepped into her boss’ office and told him that she couldn't accept the customary holiday gift at the holiday party in the upcoming days. To her surprise he was very understanding and impressed that she wouldn't waiver on her beliefs for something that seemed so trivial to others. On the day of the party she walked into her office and found a huge fruit basket with a card that read “instead of wine.” This was nearly 30 years ago and she still remembered that card. The story stuck with her all those years because she wouldn't let “being dramatic” change what she knew to be right.
I myself was debating on whether to share this post with the class or not. I deiced to go ahead and share this story because it really resonated with me. I hate being told that my feelings are dramatic or that beliefs are outdated. It bothers people when people look at me and say wow she's making such a big deal about something so small, when to me it really is big deal. My beliefs, opinions and preferences don’t need the validation of others in order to be considered “real” but they deserve everyone’s respect.
