AOS watch 1x01
[This is my rewatch and Shelby’s first watch of AOS. We are both drunk.]
~~Drunk Meter: 1/5~~
Shelby [About Mike]: “There’s no way his hood would stay like that” [Because that’s the weird thing about the opening scene…]
[“What do we do about it”] Shelby:“Nothing?” //turns to me// “Am I right?”
Shelby:“Brett Dalton is hot. Why do you hate him?” Shelby two minutes later:“He’s wound too tightly. He needs to get laid.”
//We hear LOTR fanfare from another room// Me: “That’s not the music I was expecting to hear” Shelby: “Not at all” Me singing: “Something is really—“ Shelby singing: “Something’s not right—“ Me: “REALLY WROOOONG” //Both look down ashamed//
Shelby [about Coulson]: “He’s the cutest. love him. I bet he does terrible dad jokes”
~~Drunk Meter: 2/5~~
//Shelby randomly breaks out in laughter// “It was funnier than I thought” [For the record, I have no idea what she was referring to]
Shelby [About Ward]: “Right you have to play up the lone wolf. ‘Look at my jaw’.”
Shelby [About Ward]: “Almost too fit. God damn it”
Shelby: “Tahiti… isn’t that a machine?”
Shelby [About Daisy]: “Aww, that’s not cool”
Shelby:“OMG what if Coulson were Batman? No. He’d be the Flash.”
Shelby [About Fitz]: “I like the way he says ‘inertia’.”
Shelby:“Did he just smack him [Ward] on the ass? Way to go Fitz!”
Shelby [About Daisy getting kidnapped by SHIELD]:“I wish I could that cavalier before I get a bag over my head…like heeeeyyyy”
Shelby [About “no way”]: “Holy no way Batman!”
Shelby [Quoting Fitz]: “Unappreciated genius” //Laughs for an absurd amount of time before going silent// “Alright, bro.”
Shelby [About Ward at Daisy in interrogation]: “Did yo see that? His face was like ‘BOOOOOBS’.”
Shelby: “Oh no, Mike. Oh no.”
Shelby: “Yeah, he’s [Coulson] the Flash. Barry Allen Flash, Not Wally West. Well, maybe.” Shelby 2 minutes later: “May is Batman”
Shelby [About Fitzsimmons]: “They’re adorable. They’ve got their own little language.”
Me: I’m gonna make you a Fitzsimmons shipper. Shelby: I thought they were already a thing…
Shelby [About the chick Mike saved]: “Ooh, she’s the doctor. That’s a twist”
Shelby: “You’re not making it better, Fitz”
Shelby [I can’t remember what this was about]: “Funnn”
//Shelby very dramatically// “Not magic. Hold up, bro. Gotta make that clear. It’s science.”
Shelby [as fitzsimmons gets scolded about a non-lethal option]: “Oooof”
Shelby: “I like how Skye and Coulson have an immediate connection. He knows it’s her and she likes his style. Not his like actual style, but he does always look so good.”
//Ten minute discussion of whether Centipede is a derivative of Extremis//
Shelby: “Ward is a lone wolf, Skye isn’t a team player, but it’s okay because Fitzsimmons is the same person.”