Shepard had died before...
So… Another little Drabble. Little bit angsty but also fluffy?
I dun even know anymore. Just needed some Shenko in my life! Basedon the ME3 ending so possible spoilers ahead? You have been warned!
Shepard had died before.
Last time it had been dizzying, claustrophobic and dark. The choking desperation which had turned her cold and blotted out her vision as she whirled through empty space, dragged back into the planets atmosphere. Despite the blackness of space and suffocation it had been bright and full of sparking colour behind her eyes, heart hammering in her chest as adrenaline surged through her before an all encompassing nothingness.
This time was different.
This time it was hot and burning. This time it was sharp. This time it was crushing and this time it felt wrong…
Pinned by the rubble Shepard was only vaguely aware of the overall experience. If she’d been asked to rate this death it would’ve been unsatisfactory. Far too long and drawn out. Her senses were dulled, she couldn’t tell if her eyes were open or not as visions in shades of grey bloomed in front of her. Visions of Reapers, the Illusive Man, Anderson and the Normandy… A strained, sudden gasp of breath bought her senses back online for a brief moment as her brain struggled to comprehend or register the bombardment of sensations, or in some cases, lack of any sensations at all. Shepard didn’t know whether to be glad that she could feel pain or be thankful for the areas of her body she couldn’t feel at all. It struck her as an odd situation to be in…
Had Kaidan and the others fared better than she had? They had to… She’d sent them off on the Normandy evac… A shallow exhale and her sense dulled again, head lulling to the side as her mind began to cloud over once more.
This time death seemed slow. She could almost hear it creeping up on her. It felt warm and welcoming, a well earned rest after not stopping for the past 3 years… But then…
Another piercing breath and Shepard’s senses roared back to life with the intake of oxygen. She didn’t remember dying being this painful the last time around… She recalled that this time… This time there was a reason for her fighting off the inevitable shadow which hung above her… A familiar face swimming in and out of her hazed vision, shimmering just out of touch.
“She- rd!”
Slowly and with considerably effort Shepard turned her head slightly. Was that..?
The inevitable exhale was shaky and she could feel it seemed gargled. She could taste blood? Her blood? All noises faded away as her senses dulled once more but her heart skipped before she forced herself to inhale again. Deeper this time. Her brain struggled to recall…
It hurt. Oh Gods and Spirits it hurt. She must’ve broken a rib, or five. The pain made her cry out and exhale just as quickly but she made herself do it again. Oxygen began flooding her battered systems and as sensations returned the pain intensified.
“Shep… Shepard!”
“Kai-”
She spluttered and spat out blood, some of it dribbling down her chin as her tongue felt thick in her mouth.
“C'mon Shepard, please!”
“Shepard?!”
“Commander!”
More voices now. Shepard blinked and spat blood again, inhaling shakily and through gritted teeth. Her vision swam as she peered around at the dust and rubble surrounding her. She tried to lift her head, gain a better view but found herself unable to move.
“Kaidan…” She said, intending to shout but lacking the required energy.
She tried again.
“Ka-”
She was cut off with guttural coughing, turning her head to the side. Blood misted in her breath and sprayed onto the rubble at the side of her
“Hey, did you hear that?”
Shepard’s body was giving out. She’d died once before… She knew… Breathing was becoming more difficult. Her vision was swimming and the colours were slowly fading into shades of black and grey once more.
“Shepard?! Shepard can you hear me?!”
The ruins and rubble seemed to fall especially still and silent as Shepard drew one more shuddering breath, eyes flickering shut.
“Kaidan…” Shepard spoke the name clearly, with the reverence of a prayer as she exhaled.
“Shepard!”
Through hooded lids and the burning heat of pain Shepard saw deaths angel coming for her. It slid down the pile of rubble, stumbling and rolling before scrambling over to her, cradling her face softly in its warm calloused hands. Death seemed to be awful gentle this time around… Handling her carefully like a fragile package.
“She’s here! We need a med team stat! Liara! EDI! Garrus!”
Since when did Death sound panicked at the sight of a dying soldier? How did death know the names of her team..? It couldn’t have them. Hadn’t they given enough? Couldn’t death just take her and spare her friends? Let them live in this hard fought peace?
Death looked down at her as she fought to open her eyes, “I’ve got you Shep. I’ve got you. It’s okay, med team is on its way. I’ve got you.”
There was a soft glow of orange. An omni tool? A sudden wave of mild relief spread through her body, starting at her chest and blooming outwards as her vision cleared slightly. The pain lessened enough for her eyes to slowly flicker back open. Death was working above her frantically.
She cracked a small half smile. How could she have been so foolish? There, above her, was Kaidan. His expression was pinched with concern and he shushed her gently, having administered all the medigel he could. He stroked a hand through her hair, fingers quivering as the other supported her neck as the medpacks worked on stopping bleeding where they could. His omni tool already assessing the damage.
“Kaidan…” She whispered hoarsely, “I thought…”
Kaidan had tears in his eyes as he looked down at the broken body of the Commander, “it’s alright Shepard, I’ve got you. We’re going to get you out of here.” He spoke reassuringly though Shepard was not sure if the tone was meant for him or for her.
“Kaidan…”
“Shhh, don’t talk. Just, stay still, okay?”
“Kaidan, please…” Her voice was strained and a medical fog was beginning to cloud her mind. She was vaguely aware of others around her now, more soft lights and voices but her peripheral vision was blurred, focused only on the Major, all other noises and distractions fading away, “did… Did we win?”
It was Kaidan’s turn to smile now, “We did Commander. We did.”
“… Good…” Shepard slurred as the sedatives started to kick in, “thought I’d… Lost… You”.
“Never.” Kaidan replied firmly, squeezing her hand, “never…”
