continued from here, ft. tida chiang @shimmerseas.
dumbfounded. for a few short moments, he wonders if he missed something– something very major; more than a little bit important. ( how could it be possible: to miss not just Seoah falling in love with him, but also, out of it? could he go through life not noticing any of that– ?! only he could be that oblivious... ) but finally, he gets ahold of himself: shakes the stupor of confusion out of his last braincell. it clicks: she was a WRITER, after all. what did song-writers write about more than anything else? love, of course...
he stumbles into an answer, finally, no longer staring at Seoah wordlessly with a furrowed brow, brain playing the Jeopardy Theme Song as he desperately tried to make sense of her words – the how, the why, the specifics of this timeline of love and loss, the complete impossibility of her liking him, all of it – no, surprised curiosity takes over instead. “ oh. what’s that? a song? ” lyrics, probably: not some kind of sad confession of fading love...
but damn. even knowing that now, he finds himself oddly shaken by words that weren’t even meant for him. the true mark of a skilled writer: she almost made him believe in – and grieve for – someone else’s love story; whatever poor soul inspired this song. or maybe he’s just too scared, at the thought of hearing those words from someone for real, more susceptible to the mere suggestion of them than most... a quirk of a relieved grin, as he jokingly sympathizes. “ 'kinda glad I’ve never dated someone whose a singer. imagine the song everyone’s bumping is about how much your ex is over you, and you have to hear it like two hundred times a day. sucks to be that guy. ” but, if they did something bad enough to earn a Taylor-Swift-style callout through song, maybe they deserved their fate. “ but I guess there’s worse ways to get broken up with – like a text. ” at least they had to put effort into a song...
“oh, sorry — did i scare you?” seoah lets out an abashed chuckle once she realises what she has done, pulled out from the trance by tida’s string of questions. it is a strange habit, though perhaps one shared by many writers. scribbling songs in her head as her mind drifts past the sea of memories and half-finished conversations, uttering words that she doesn’t mean to divulge to listening ears. “it is, i was just thinking out loud.” astonishing her company when they are in the middle of preparing for dinner probably isn’t the best idea, not when chopping boards and knives are being used.
her gaze drops the the pieces of vegetables on the chopping board from the ensuing ramble, she listens intently and offers a faint nod in response. while it is not a rare opinion, she cannot explain the twinge that twitches in her chest as he says it. or maybe she can, she just doesn’t want to admit it. not to him, not even to herself. why bother starting something that can never stand a chance? she likes them enough like this, him with his silly jokes and her with her mouthful of thoughts that he hasn’t grown tired of. it is better this way, for them to remain friends when the alternative has the potential to be so devastatingly ruinous.
“right — it does suck to be that guy.” another nod as she bites her bottom lip and buries the words unsaid. words that are better left unsaid. she wonders, for a second, if tida can spot the nuances in her song on a hopeless crush that is far beyond her reach. her gaze continues to avoid his, she picks up the bowl of carrot slices and throws them into the pot of boiling water. she watches as bubbles rise and dissipate in the water, swallows the feelings that bubble at the base of her throat. “but isn’t it kind of nice, in a way? to matter that much to someone, enough to have your love immortalised in a song?” she says in defence of all songwriters and blinks away all personal sentiments regarding the matter. “then again, i’m very biased.”