Aster gets the distinct impression that the Showrunner is upset at him.
That, or they just think that making him lose to Theo five times in less than an hour is the height of comedy.
He curses to himself, rubbing his throat– leave it to Theo to go for his neck so often– as he flops onto a nearby bench.
His best friend seems concerned. Given he’s come over to the training area in Summer Hills instead of working his anxiety out at the training hall, that’s a fair response.
“You’re kinda shit today,” Theo notes.
Instead of thinking about how he keeps seeing visions of what they’ll look like at some point– candy-sweet domestic bliss, the three of them obviously in love and enjoying every moment of it– he grumbles, “So sue me for being distracted.”
Theo shifts, his wings flicking anxiously. “...Trouble in fuckin’ paradise already?”
“What? No, we’re going on a date tonight. Everything is fine with us.”
Why the fuck would Theo assume things were bad with Daz?
He reminds his friend, “He didn’t see me cheating on him with you.” “You’re both being real fuckin’ cagey about it, so…I dunno, I feel like you’re both lying.”
Aster winces. “I mean…Daz is, uh. Needing…some time. To admit it. ‘Cause it’s– kind of a lot.”
“That’s so fuckin’ sus,” Theo groans, plopping onto the bench next to him. “The fuck does he have to be concerned about?”
More than Theo can ever fathom. “...Future might have changed,” he says, knowing Daz might get mad at him for admitting even that much.
Theo looks concerned. “D’you two not get–” “No, we– we do. It’s…” he chews on his lip.
This is such a dangerous path. The fuck can he even do to appease Daz, assuming he missteps?
“We’re– we still get married,” he finally settles on.
His friend’s head cocks to the side. “Then why the fuckin’ weirdchamp shit?”
It seems like Theo listens to the Fates, because he frowns. “Kid you two have still exists, right? I was kinda interested in being an uncle.”
Aster blinks, and he’s in another vision.
He boggles at the sight of not one, but three kids flinging themselves at future-Theo.
Two girls, one younger boy. The girls both have gorgeous bluejay-like wings, though the boy doesn’t.
Future-Theo scoops all three into his arms, beaming at them. “Kids!” “Dad, dad! Doctor Aryll said my wings are gonna come in soon!”
Visibly thrilled, Future-Theo asks, “Yeah? You ready to go flying with your old man, uncles, n’ grandpa?” “Yep! Grandpa keeps saying he can teach me if you don’t wanna, though.”
“Dad can fuck off, you’re my kids. I’m gonna teach you all myself,” Future-Theo grumbles.
Future-Daz teases, “You sulk every time he brings it up.” “He had his fuckin’ turn, n’ again– my kids,” Future-Theo complains.
The future version of Aster snorts, “And here we were, thinking you’d be less overprotective.” “Shut. Now, Boreas, did Aryll say about how much longer it’d be?”
And that’s all that Aster gets.
He stares into space, and then says, “Three?!”
“Huh?” “Three kids, with wings! Who the fuck even– I don’t even know anyone with bluejay wings, let alone a woman,” Aster groans, raking a hand through his hair.
Theo freezes. “You two have kids with fuckin’ bluejay wings?” “Apparently!” “That’s…”
His friend’s brow furrows. It’s like he’s trying to put the pieces together.
“...Aster, if I fuckin’ guess what you saw, you’d tell me if I’m right– right?”
…Fuck. If he guesses directly, it’d be kind of a dick move to say no.
He grimaces. “Uh…maybe. It– yeah. If it’s…close enough. Daz just– needs some time, so–”
Theo grabs his shoulders, making him jolt in surprise.
Hands gripping him tightly, Theo demands, “You two keep fuckin’ seeing me with you, don’t you? N’ that’s why you’re both being so fuckin’ weird about it.”
Damnit.
He averts his gaze. “Please don’t say anything to Daz. He’s– uh, he’s actually deeply insecure. I had to strongarm him into telling you after a week, so…”
A noise of distress escapes Theo, whose head thunks onto his shoulder.
Aster frowns. “Theo?”
“...Three kids, huh?” “...Yeah. I– it looks like you’re really happy to be their dad.” “Never fuckin’ pictured myself in a…marriage? We get married?”
“Seems like it. We all have earcuffs that look like wedding jewelry.” “Bet Dad’d love being a grandpa.”
Awkwardly, Aster pats his back. “He apparently kept offering-slash-threatening to teach them how to fly–” “Absolutely fuckin’ not, I’d teach my kids myself,” Theo snaps, sounding affronted.
“Which you got mad about.”
A grumble escapes Theo, who seems sullen.
After a moment, his best friend asks, “So…what if I’m– not really fuckin’...sure about that?” “As in?”
Theo pulls back, seeming uncharacteristically serious. “I dunno that I really want to get into a– relationship. Feels…weird. N’ with both of you…”
Aster resists the pang of hurt he feels. It’s not even like he seriously considered it before, so it doesn’t shock him that Theo is hesitant.
He shrugs. “I mean– things changed once, right? So…enough time and big enough ripples, they’ll probably change again.”
“N’ if you see something where you’re not with Daz?”
That feels impossible. “Then I’ll fight against that future. I’m pretty set on being with him now. Even if the details change, I want to be at his side. He’s complicated and deeply traumatized, but…I think I like the futures I’ve seen with him. I think I like seeing him so happy to be with me, too.”
With a snort, he adds, “And, uh, I’m kinda hooked on his cooking? It’s– it’s really nice, actually. I’m not really used to food being so…thought about. Or sharing it like that with someone else. He keeps threatening to make clothes for me, too, which is sweet.”
In this new future, Daz has a carved bangle that’s clearly from Aster. Given the disparity between the two timelines, maybe it’d be better to just…make something similar but different.
Enough to prove he’s not being lazy about it, and whatnot.
Daz would probably cry if he gave him something like that. The insecurity would ease, because he’d be proving that he’s not discarding Daz for Theo.
Assuming it ever happens, Aster would accept nothing less than all three of them being on equal footing in the relationship.
“He’s a good guy, though. Even if you decide not to be with us like that…he’d still end up basically your brother in law. You might as well get to know him better.”
Theo sighs deeply. “It’s…yeah, I fuckin’ guess. Just– weird. Didn’t think any of us would ever…”
A flash of annoyance shoots through Aster. “Apparently, people keep asking him out.”
“...Daz?”
Aster rolls his eyes. “According to him, he turns people down all the time. Something about being the primary support for refugees?”
Theo grimaces. “Ah…yeah, the hero worship shit. When you put it like that…yeah, I fuckin’ know what that's like. Kinda annoying, actually? N’ I guess he did mention he has to fuckin'-- turn people down a lot…”
Uhg, right. “True, you have a lot of experiences with people asking you out.” “Lots've ‘em in life-or-death situations, too! Weird as shit.”
His friend squints. “Wait, didn't you say he's stupid fuckin’ rich?” “I didn't know it was possible for anyone to have as much money as he does.” “N’ he's a good cook.” “Better than your dad, and I don't say that lightly.” “N’ powerful as fuck in a bunch've ways.”
…Goddamnit, he's starting to see Theo's angle. “Fuck, he's actually a crazy good catch. I mean, I knew he was– really great, but not everyone has seen what I have. So I just– I guess, subconsciously, I assumed nobody else has thought about it…?”
Theo snorts, but his amusement quickly turns serious. “Aster…man, you know you can't walk away, right? If you choose him, I mean. If Daz is so fuckin’ fragile he tried to kill himself over what you were seeing…? I don't wanna fuckin’ know how hard he'd snap if you left.”
Theo sounds genuinely concerned.
As much as Aster knows he's right to make sure the stakes are clear…it stings to think that Theo would assume he would abandon Daz.
“We're both loyal to the death. I've seen a softer side to him lately– a side I want to keep seeing. I'm not planning on leaving. I– I've seen what abandonment does to admins. To him.”
A cold sweat runs down his spine at the thought of how Daz tore himself in half to be good enough for his own family.
If Aster broke his heart, the best case scenario would be if Daz became his mortal enemy.
Worst case scenario…Daz would seek the ultimate refuge.
Even if that wasn't the case, he would shatter everything about himself to become whoever, whatever, Aster wanted.
Because Daz is lonely. Even in a sea of people, he feels isolated. He doesn't think the real him is worthy of love or kindness.
At the same time, he’s desperate for affection. He's starved himself of touch out of a misplaced fear it would hurt others.
Strangling his soul in exchange for love would be easy. He would pour himself into a mould so lovely that Aster would be smitten– lie until even Daz himself believed it.
He shudders. Even if he would never want that, Daz might think he needs to do it to earn love.
Theo’s hand grips his shoulder. “Aster? You okay, man?”
“Daz could break so easily. It scares me. I want him to be happy. I– I want us to be happy. I want…I'm kind of warming up to the idea of eventually being a dad.”
He sees himself, gently swaying and cradling young, fussy kid in his arms. “Shh, shh. It's just a nightmare, Hemera.”
“But, but, woke up, n’, everyone was, was gone–!”
A kiss is pressed to a mop of golden curls. “Aurora was just in the bathroom, and you know that Mama, Daddy and I are always right down the hall. Plus, all your uncles, your grandpa, Lucid, even San…there’s a whole server out there. The whole world would end before you'd be alone, sweetheart. And we love you too much to let that happen, hmm? We love you too much to leave you all alone.”
Future-Daz, who was watching from the doorway with the other little girl dozing in his arms, melts at how much he likes seeing future-Aster comforting their daughter.
Aster blinks a few times. “Aurora, Hemera, Boreas.” “Huh?” “The kids. I think Aurora and Hemera might be twins…? Boreas is younger.”
Theo’s head cocks to the side. “Dawn, day, n’ the north wind? Interesting fuckin’ choices for gods.”
“Dawn makes sense; gold, stars faintly there, and the sky. It's the three of us combined. Not sure about the others…?”
Oh, wait. Aster points out, “North wind.” “Ah, yeah. N’ it's also the winter wind.”
“What a cruel father, to set our poor son up for snowflake jokes for the rest of his like,” Aster teases. “Or maybe you like being called that, huh?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Theo grumbles, visibly sulking.
If he really thinks about it…Aster can see how they'd work together as a trio.
He and Theo are already close– best friends, and as many people say, cut from the same cloth.
Aster knows Theo pretty damn well. He knows that Daz, the real Daz, would fascinate him.
If it were just Theo and Aster, very little would change in their dynamic.
But with Daz in the mix, he'd strongarm both of them into shutting up. The ruthless, clever man Aster is increasingly seeing the charms of would coax and threaten them as needed, until they did whatever he wanted.
He sees just a flash of all three of them cuddled up in what looks like Daz’s bed.
Both he and Theo are messing with that fluffy blond hair, Daz completely conked out between them…and Theo’s wing draped over top of them.
Huh. Yeah, once Daz gets past the stage of jealousy, he'd probably be very interested in having a second fanatically loyal husband.
God knows Daz melts into physical affection from those he trusts, and Theo is used to giving affection to loved ones pretty freely.
There's a sigh from Theo. “Eh. No fuckin’ point stressing about the names. Bigger fish to fry– I have questions why the fuck I'm the bio dad!”
Aster frowns. “Why would you think that?”
Theo stares at him. “The fuck d'you think made me figure it out? My original fuckin’ wings were bluejay ones! I have Dad's wings now, but those aren't genetic!”
That's…not right.
“That doesn't make sense.” “There’s no reason to fuckin’ lie about–” “No, I mean– that makes sense. I don’t think you're lying. But the kids seem like admins. Eyes are all really vibrant– which I'm pretty sure is a sign of that.”
He's pretty confident they're admins, but it's such a weird thing to pair with the wings.
…Wait.
“Daz is an admin.” “...Yeah, kinda a big fuckin’ deal.” “Admins can do impossible shit.”
Theo’s brow furrows, and then his eyes go wide. “Wait. Are you fuckin’ assuming–” “He's exactly stubborn enough to find a way to– to let you both be the bio parents.”
It actually makes a lot of sense in that context; neither Lucid nor Lee would stop Daz from doing…whatever process that would entail.
Huh. It's…sort of weird, sure, but knowing Daz…it's shockingly plausible.
It makes the most sense for it to be the two of them, anyway. As far as Aster is aware, he's just a normal human.
Both of his eventual partners would get so much more out of being the biological parents than Aster would; not just because of what they are, but who they are.
He does think he wants kids, sure.
But the kids having his genes is– would it be nice? Probably, sure!
Daz, however, deserves to raise kids who are admins. Theo would be thrilled to raise kids who could eventually fly.
He's stared at. “That's fuckin’ crazy.” “I'm actually fairly sure he could do it.” “Lot've faith in him.”
Aster snorts. “I got a peek in his head when he coded something on the fly. It's…hard to think he's not smart enough for it after that.”
A long, tired sigh comes from Theo. His friend stretches his legs out one way and his wings another.
Weird to think that he may raise kids with wings.
In a good way, obviously. In a way that, despite how unfamiliar it is, he feels a sense of bittersweet yearning for.
…His arms feel a little empty. Like something that's meant to be there isn't.
He's pretty sure he knows what that thing is.
Shaking his head a bit, he says, “I think you'd like Daz, the real Daz, if you gave him a chance. No matter if you end up with us or not, I plan to stay with him. You should get to know him.”
Theo groans, scrubbing a hand over his hair. “Feels fuckin’ weird!” “I'm not saying you have to fall in love. But…”
Aster shrugs. “He's going to be an even bigger part of my life. Kinda weird for you to keep my partner at arm's length, y'know?”
He knocks their shoulders together. “You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t tell you to make nice with someone you'd hate.”
“It’s– it's just real fuckin’ weirdchamp, man! I'm not real used to you two being…together.” “Neither am I, honestly. But it's…”
He smiles to himself, thinking about the candy-sweet life he's gotten glimpses of. He wouldn't have considered being with anyone, especially not Daz…
But, gods, he’s already a little charmed by him. Stubborn, clever, mercurial, damaged Daz; someone just as fiercely and fanatically loyal as Aster, someone who has suffered in silence out of a misplaced sense of guilt.
Aster finds himself wanting to shore up the walls of Daz’s heart and mind. Not to close people out, but rather to be stable enough to let people in.
Even now, he sort of wants to go bother Daz at work. Surely there's something he can do to help out, right…? Some little task he can do to ease what he's pretty sure is a Sisyphean work load.
He's heard Raine, Aleph, and Khons all complain about how much there is to do, so he's reasonably sure there's more than his wildest estimates.
…Actually, he’s pretty sure he’s only heard Daz complain about people doing things he doesn't like.
If Daz has complained about his job otherwise, it wasn't to Aster.
However, Daz has admitted that he was overworking himself well past the point of exhaustion to try and sleep, so that doesn't mean much.
He knows Daz, or at least his work ethic. For a long time, that was one of the only things that Aster could bring himself to praise.
Hmm. Maybe…he should plan to go in at some point.
There's a shove against his side. When he looks over, Theo has bumped him with his wing.
Rolling his eyes, his best friend says, “You look like all fuckin’ lovesick.” “I'm shocked you can put a name to that.” “Oi, fuck off! I was just sayin'--”
There's a long sigh, Theo rubbing the back of his neck. “You have your date later, right? Orph has talked about the fuckin’ Welcome Wagon hours enough that I'm pretty fuckin’ sure he'll be off soon. You should go…I dunno, do you even have nice clothes…?”
There's a brief vision of himself trying something on in Daz’s sewing room.
“I think I will be, soon,” he says, feeling a little excited about that fact.
Maybe he should figure out what exactly a claim looks like to Daz.
If Aster is in it for the long haul– and he is– then it's only right to declare those intentions in the right way.
He nudges Theo back, grinning widely. “Thanks, Theo.”
“For…?”
“Being my best friend. And, uh, being chill with…everything. I'm going to make sure that he never feels trapped again. Even if you decide not to join us, I hope you'll be proud of my efforts to make him happy.”
There's an unreadable expression on Theo’s face, before it shifts into a smile. Slinging an arm and a wing over his shoulders, Theo tells him, “You'd better. I'm gonna be real fuckin’ pissed if shit goes south n’ you're both miserable. But for– joining you two…”
The warrior makes a face. “I dunno. Maybe, eventually…? But you said he's real fuckin’ insecure, n’ it'd be– real, real fuckin’ weirdchamp to do that right now. Need to sort my own fuckin’ thoughts out, n’ whatnot. Even if I did wanna do that, it's kinda…fast. I'd rather give it some fuckin’ time, let you two figure out if you want it.”
Why wouldn't they? If it's the current future, then of course they'd accept him.
Theo sighs. “Future clearly isn't set in stone. Just ‘cause you see it doesn’t mean it has to fuckin’ pass. We've got…agency n’ shit, yeah? So…maybe one or more've us isn't okay with that. I dunno, maybe I decide I wanna be monogamous or never be with fuckin’ anyone at all. Maybe Daz isn't comfortable sharing you– maybe the reality of us being together isn't any good for you, either.”
…Huh. Theo has already given it a lot of thought, hasn't he?
Well, he can’t really say that any of that is wrong. He knows he wants to be with Daz, but beyond that…he's willing to keep an open mind, if nothing else.
“You’re right. I might’ve jumped the gun a little. I'll have to tell Daz I admitted what happened, but…maybe after the date. So, uh…if you get a sudden demand to meet, that'd be why.”
Daz is going to be furious, but Aster didn't see a point in lying to Theo when he guessed correctly and would be hearing about it soon anyway.
And Daz feeling insecure doesn't have to be a big problem now, right? Aster is going to do his best at all that sappy, romantic shit.
…Starting with his date.