@shipgambles commissioned: 9, 14, 17 for the lgbt asks! || LGBT+ Headcanons || ACCEPTING
9. How has your muse’s identity evolved to what it is now?
Elias’ identity has evolved slightly over the years, not so much his gender identity as he’s always strongly felt like a man, and he’s never changed his stance on identifying as one. His sexuality, however, has evolved quite a bit over the years as Elias has started to realize certain things about his identity. Elias used to go based off his aesthetic attractions, rather than his sexual and romantic attractions and at first assumed himself to be Bisexual since he aesthetically appreciated men and women equally.
However during early stage of his teens, he started leaning more towards identifying as asexual, because he came to realize he so far never actually formed a crush or genuine attraction towards anyone. Though this was something he didn’t mention to his family, given the already unspoken controversy around his identity as a trans man. Though eventually, Elias started leaning more towards identifying as Demisexual.
This mostly came to be because of his singular friend growing up, Josiah Hawke (yes Elias did yoink this man’s last name). Elias actually came to realize he felt some form of attraction towards Josiah, and actually lost his virginity to him when the two decided to experiment together. Elias doesn’t exactly use the term Demisexual, but his time spent with Josiah did help him realize he can feel sexual attraction, and the small twinges of romantic attraction that come from having a crush on someone.
14. Has your muse ever secretly dated someone because they were afraid of what other people might think?
Nope! Cause that would require Elias to have actually dated someone in the past. Despite his experiences with Josiah, Elias never dated him publicly or secretly. The two had a mutual agreement to remain only friends, even as they experimented together, and as far as Elias is aware there was never any romantic feelings on either of their parts that would have warranted dating. The biggest secrets he keeps in terms of his relations with others are the occasional one night stands he’s had with other men.
Though if he did date someone, in all odds he wouldn’t keep the relationship a secret from anyone besides potentially his family. But this depends on the person, how he feels his family would react to them, and if he feels that his partner would ever meet them in the first place.
17. Were there any people or characters when your muse was young that seemed to influence their identity?
There wasn’t so much a major influence as there was encouragement by one person in particular in his life. His eldest brother, Alois, who had always taken notice of his “weird” habits as a child and encouraged them wholeheartedly. See Elias used to love to mimic his two older brothers constantly as a child before he came out, and while Nikolaus would find it annoying, Alois loved it.
He loved Elias trying to be like him, and often gave his youngest sibling his old hand-me-downs. Alois taught Elias a lot as a child, just based off the fact it seemed like Elias needed to know certain things. For example, Alois taught Elias how to tie his own ties, and given the age gap between them already whenever he was due to shave his face, would let Elias watch and mimic him in the mirror. Alois actually kept a small, turn down hand mirror on his vanity so that Elias could see himself whenever he’d mimic Alois shaving.
A lot of the time spent with Alois is what helped young Elias start to realize his identity at such a young age. Under the child’s logic of “why would I like doing boy things if I wasn’t a boy?”