Nothing like a little dysphoria and bullshit to start the day: my new job have been great about listing my gender as “non-binary” or “neutral”* on all their records**. However, when they tried to verify my ID (driver’s license) it was rejected due to mismatched gender. Because the UK government only recognises male and female. According to the UK government, my gender isn’t real. I was assigned female at birth, so my legal gender is “female” and under current UK law, there is no way to change that. Ever. According to the government, I’m a woman and that’s that.***
So my ID says I’m female, which does not match the organisation’s records, or reality. The HR person handling my case has never dealt with this before and asked me to send a different ID to verify, not knowing that this is impossible. Because of the aforementioned government fuckery. In the end, I advised HR to change my gender to “female” in their records. Because then at least this will match my ID and they can verify it, so I can start my new position and do the job I have poured my heart and soul into for the last 4 years.
But it is based on the falsity that I am a female person. This is incorrect. It invalidates my actual, self-identified gender as a non-binary person. I also don’t know if they’ll be able to change it back after... so I could be stuck with an incorrect gender on all organisation records. And the same at any other trust for the rest of my career. Which is bullshit. And it calls into question my whole legal identity because as far as the organisation is concerned, my ID doesn’t match who I said I am. That I am not who I said I am. As if I tricked them, “oh yeah you caught me, I’m actually a girl!!!”
I’ve sent off a very calm instructional email to HR, but I am now sitting here trying not to break down because I just want to be believed. I am who I say I am. No matter what the government or my ID or anyone else says. I am who I say I am and that my government doesn’t accept that is so much fucking bullshit.
* whether or not “neutral” is a good descriptor for non-binary folks is another discussion, but suffice it to say that I’m really happy with the way the organisation has accounted for me and my gender so far.
** this is the same organisation where I did all my student placements, so I have in effect been “working” there for 4 years. However now that I am qualified, I’m starting a new job as a qualified midwife. Which means going through the whole process of being officially hired. My manager and the practice development team are awesome and it’s been so good to know I am accepted and taken care of that way. And now THIS.
*** the UK government recently rejected proposed changes to the Gender Recognition Act which would’ve allowed people to self-ID for gender. This did not include non-binary gender but that was seen as a logical next step. These changes had overwhelming public and professional support. The Equalities Minister, Liz Truss, previously stated that these changes would go ahead, then made a U-turn and rejected the measures at the last minute. I’m not going to provide sources here because we all know how to use google.
Sometimes you need to shut out the re-election of a hateful government by drinking tea, watching the new season of The Expanse and knitting a very cosy scarf for a friend. Also eating as many samosas as you can fit in your face.
I’ve never felt more ashamed of my country. I don’t feel proud to be British, I can’t see myself feeling proud of my counrty again to be honest. We have proved tonight that we are an island full of horrible, selfish, close minded, racist little people who only care about ourselves and quite frankly I feel ashamed to be a part of it.
