#shitmattsays

[mattwolf4325]

#MotivationalSaturday #ShitMattSays

[shitmattwebbsays]

We eat a lot of fuckin' triscuits.

Matt Webb on the strict dietary regime of Marianas Trench

[fidesinus]

#nasty #rapedbyrobots #shitmattsays

[mattdesu]

Fuck

So tonight driving home from work I received my very first ticket. The same day that I got my first car, a 2007 honda fit sport. I've had others but this is the first car I felt was "mine". It's not the nicest car, but I got to pick it out and it's damn sure the fastest car I've ever driven. It kinda sucks that I was so excited today and I felt like I was on top of the world, but BAM that high sure ended fast. Reflecting on all this I was very upset at first. It felt like the world was against me I mean really a ticket not even 12 hours after the first time I drove the damn car? Really? But even so I may or may not be looking for an excuse for my stupidity, but I think I can take a lesson away from this (besides the obvious don't fucking speed you lil shit). Being in college, everyone is obsessed with graduating as fast as possible, taking as many credits as you can possibly handle without killing yourself (literally stuDYING) and it's really sad. Sad that we can't take a class we're interested in because it's major restricted, or you just simply don't have the time. So maybe this is the universe trying to tell me to slow the fuck down and just chill out. You'll get to where you have to go eventually, don't go lose your shit every time there's some adversity. If you're always speeding along, you might not end up where you're supposed to. Shit happens for a reason, just learn from your mistakes and don't dwell on it.

[shitmattwebbsays]

From now on, I'm only buying yogurt-coloured clothing.

Matt Webb on the latest fashion trends

[candeeapplee]

#shitmattsays

I forgot to goddamn text you back

[shitmattwebbsays]

I would have made an awesome used car salesman.

Matt Webb reconsidering his career choice

[shitmattwebbsays]

Matt Webb’s Top 5 Summer Items

1) Waterskis! Because there ain’t nothing better than getting up at the crack of dawn on a calm morning and ripping around the lake, provided someone will tow u behind a boat.

2) Soccer ball! Because my middle name is Messi and I live right by a soccer field.

3) Sunscreen! Because skin cancer is bad.

4) Sunglasses! Because I don’t want u to know where I’m looking.

5) Bluetooth Speaker! Because I like to bust out funky jams. Wirelessly.