#shitpostposting

[max1461]

Agile communism. The people's scrum. Five-year sprint.

[crustacean-on-main]

[max1461]

Everybody's really excited about identity these days so I'm starting a new thing like gender or race but it's called SNINFT and I think it's gonna be really big. There are five sninfts and everybody has two of them and the five sninfts are called norble, wizit, needo, somp, and rud. your first sninft is inherited from your great grandma and then your second sninft you pick when you come of age and you can't change it later even if you don't like it BUT there's a bonus thing which is you can swap your first and second sninft whenever you want so if you are needo/somp you could switch to somp/needo and that would be fine. anyway I'm thinking we can all start worrying about sninft all the time and having wars over it and killing each other and stuff and then get more enlightened because of progress and change our minds to it doesn't really matter.

[max1461]

type of guy who invariably buys the worst salami in the store because he was cursed by god himself never to buy good salami: you know I don’t like salami very much

[max1461]

yeah basically I follow a strict moral code that's sort of like bushido for lesbians

[max1461]

There's much more jizz in a sperm bank than in a regular set of balls. So if you see some jizz you might think "that came from a sperm bank, surely". But in fact balls are far more common than sperm banks. So in the end it's more likely it came directly from some balls. Bayes theorem.

[max1461]

sorry we privatized your boyfriend. yeah we passed an enclosure act and he's private property now, you don't have your traditional usage rights anymore. yeah if you want access to him you'll have to pay rent, sorry.

[max1461]

ironic. even in the "land of the free" your not allowed to fly a plane into a couple of towers. really makes you think