I'm not sure what's more frustrating about this
that I have a good chance of failing one of my winter courses, which endangers my scholarship in a BIG way
that there just is NO accessible version of this textbook in existence. like non-existent.
that the accessibility office, being more or less closed for winter break, is not there to advocate for me.
this isn't an "evil professor" situation, she's trying her best, she can't change the fact that an accessible version of the textbook doesn't actually exist.
the textbook is so poorly formatted that it feels like a joke, to the point that the formatting is a large part of the reason it cant have a digital/audio format. and I am expected to READ THIS. A LOT OF IT
this is an "asynchronous" class so 50% of it is just reading this fucking thing
that if I tried to tell ANYONE about this, they'd go "well you shouldnt have put all your reading off til the last minute/should have read ahead in the syllabus/yOu AlWaYs PuT tHiNgS oFf ThAtS wHy YoU sTrUgGle" as though I havent been forcing myself to NOT do the (more accessible) homework for my other winter class, not allowing myself to do chores/go outside/make art/see friends/etc, and havent been forcing myself to sit still in my apt for DAYS in the vain hope that I would magically gain the ability, through sheer force of will, to just Pick Up The Fucking Book And Read It Already.
THAT I CARE. ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK. IT IS INTERESTING TO ME. I GIVE SO MANY SHITS. however I literally CANNOT absorb information if 99.99999999% of my brainpower is focused on perceiving the actual physical letters.
I. CANNOT. READ. THIS. IN. ANY. FUNCTIONAL. MANNER.