Hi! I found you through my blog queer as a coot (formerly gendergander, formerly genderbrave *indecision*) I'm a bit baffled by someone being anti-feminist so I thought I'd ask you about it. As much as feminism and feminists aren't perfect, surely equality of the sexes is something to strive for? Curious~
Oh, I'll clear things up!
I do want to strive for gender equality. I love men AND I love women. I will not stand for sexism against men or sexism against women and will do what I can to offer my help in anything to further that.
I do not believe you have to be a feminist to support gender equality. I don't believe that feminism has a total monopoly on the idea of equality, and while you can be a feminist if you support the idea, you don't have to be.
I just think that the feminist movement itself has a lot of contradictory, hypocritical views and flaws. After all, feminists are not a hive mind...still, I would think they would agree on the same basic ideals that made them want to be feminists in the first place.
I know very well that not all feminists are bad. But a lot of them are. A lot of them blame men for every single problem they have, and in general they are very sexist towards men. Also, quite a few of them are transphobic (which doesn't help me since I'm agender. Since I'm dfab, a lot of the radfems have called me a traitor to the female gender. Though they are even worse to dmab trans people and it's heartbreaking for me to even think about). I don't really have much of a say in this because I'm white, but a lot of people consider feminism as a whole to be very racist, too. Furthermore, I don't think women (at least in the West) have it as badly as a lot of feminists say they do.
I think that men and women both have gender issues that need to be solved, and I wish they would acknowledge both sides of it more. Plus, gender equality should also strive to end transphobia, which includes the inclusion of nonbinary people.
I will not automatically hate you if you call yourself a feminist. I will not be ashamed to agree with feminist views if I believe they are striving for actual equality. I just think the movement itself has too many problems for me to consider myself a feminist, though.
I'm sorry this post was long, but I hope this helps?