Just saw some dipshit proclaiming that in the one act play Salomé by Oscar Wilde, it is AcKsHoOaLlY never stated that she kisses John the Baptist on the mouth after his head is lobbed off. Then I ask you, o' wise and blatantly illiterate one:
What the fuck is this?
THE VOICE OF SALOMÉ
Ah! I have kissed thy mouth, Jokanaan, I have kissed thy mouth. There was a bitter taste on thy lips. Was it the taste of blood?... But perchance it is the taste of love.... They say that love hath a bitter taste.... But what of that? what of that? I have kissed thy mouth, Jokanaan.
[A moonbeam falls on Salomé covering her with light.]
(And there is actually more before all of that as well. There's a lot of kissing of John the Baptist, sans body, going on in this short little play. I want to know what version this other person read. Maybe it was Lord Alfred Douglas's abominably bad translation. That little asshole couldn't do anything right.)
I'm really looking forward to this! Interpreted performance just aren't the same (though I still appreciate it. Don't stop).
[Image ID: Poster for Deaf Austin Theatre's Short Play Festival. Art is of an alley at night. The plays, which are available to stream through stellar Novels 8th through 16th, are:
Days Between Us written by Heba Toulan,
Dumpster Diving written by Rob Roth and Joshua Castile,
Matchmaker written by Beth Louise Johnson,
The Deaf Table written by Garrett Zuercher, and
Wands Have More Fun by Allison Fradkin.
There is a qr code in the bottom right corner to get virtual tickets. End ID]
i wrote a play as part of a workshop festival, and you can read it!
it's sort of an unauthorized au-sequel-thing to Daft Punk's Electroma, but you don't have to have seen that to read this.
wordcount: 894
content warnings:
suicidal themes
gun violence
sex
murder
skinning
My Silver Lining
By e065
CHARACTERS
Robot (The Robot’s dialogue contains most, but not all, stage directions.)
Driver (The Driver’s lines can also be read as gibberish with the same emotional tone.)
Cashier (no lines)
Noise Complaint (no lines)
PLAYLIST
I Want to Be Alone (Dialogue) - Jackson C. Frank
No Surprises - Radiohead
My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit
Alone - Heart
SCENE 1: I WANT TO BE ALONE
ROBOT: I can see nothing ahead, behind, or around me but road, sky, and soybeans. As my battery fails, I fall to my knees. I rest my head on the gravel by the side of the road. I do not feel the sun on my skin, only the heat inside me from my components straining. It is a relief to stop. Before my sensors give out completely, I hear the sound of a distant motor and see dust rising on the horizon.
SCENE 2: NO SURPRISES
ROBOT: I reactivate in a car being driven by a human. Something pulls at the back of my neck. I reach back and find a wire, tethering me to the center console. The driver notices I’m awake and smiles at me.
DRIVER: Hi there. How are you feeling? / You are safe. What is your status?
ROBOT: I undo my seatbelt and try to jump out of the car. The tires scream against the road as the driver slams the brakes and pulls over. She grabs my shoulder.
DRIVER: What the hell? / I didn’t expect that and it scared me.
ROBOT: I look back at her. I start to move. She stops me. My gaze falls on the radio. I reach for the dial, scrolling through stations until a song touches me deeply. I sit back and fasten my seatbelt.
Robot sings along to No Surprises as the driver pulls back onto the road.
SCENE 3: MY SILVER LINING
ROBOT: We arrive at a gas station with an attached convenience store. The driver gets out and stretches. I follow her into the convenience store. The cashier pulls a gun on me.
DRIVER: Wait, wait, it’s okay. Don’t shoot. / He’s not a threat.
ROBOT: The driver holds an arm in front of me. I step outside. Two small brown birds are hunting for food in the grass. I watch them. The driver comes back out and puts her hand on my shoulder. I stand up and follow her back into the convenience store. The cashier does not pull a gun on me this time. I follow the driver to the bathrooms. She enters one. I enter the other. I see my reflection in the mirror.
An extended pause. Robot’s narration becomes rapid and frantic.
I leave the bathroom. The cashier looks alarmed. I could walk towards them, not slowing down. They would pull out the gun. If I kept moving, they would shoot. The sound of the shot would scare the birds, and the driver…
(narration slows.)
I don’t walk towards the cashier. I lean on the wall. The driver leaves the bathroom. She puts her hand on my arm.
DRIVER: You okay? / What is your status?
ROBOT: I put my hand over hers. I decide to live. There is a sheet face mask hanging on one of the shelves. The driver follows my gaze and takes it from the shelf. The driver selects food and looks at me apologetically, knowing I can’t eat. She pays and hands me the mask to apply to my face. We leave.
SCENE 4: ALONE
ROBOT: We arrive at a hotel. The human puts her bags down by the bed and enters the bathroom. I sit on the bed and browse through television channels. I find the music videos. My mask begins to slip off my faceplate. I hold it in place. The human comes out of the bathroom and sits next to me. She places her hand on my arm.
DRIVER sings along to ‘Alone’ by Heart. Robot joins her. They sing together, getting into it until someone bangs on the door and shouts. They stop singing.
ROBOT: The human turns the volume of the television down and smiles at me. She sits on the bed, pulling me by the arm to sit with her. She kisses my face. She seems to want to have sex with me. I am unable to explain that I am not fertile. She touches my neck. I touch her chest.
Lights down.
ROBOT: The human lays down, relaxed. I hold one of the pillows against her face until she suffocates to death. After she is dead, I carry her into the bathroom, place her in the bathtub, and remove her skin. I begin at the top of her skull. It unzips down the back, where her hair and clothing will hide it the seam. I’ve never skinned someone before. I thought it would be harder. It’s like her skin wants to leave. Mine feels the same way. I take my skin off. I weep. I put her skin on. Her cheeks hide the tear stains on mine. I take her things and drive the rest of the way. Her friends– my friends– welcome me with open arms.
Lights down. Lights up.
ROBOT: I reactivate in bed next to her. She looks at me as though we had the same dream.
PR Person: Welcome into office, Mr. Governor. It’s such a breath of fresh air to have a wholesome, clean-cut family man as governor of this state after your predecessors’ sex scandals, embezzlement scandals, and deeply offensive costume scandals. Now, I hate to ask this because I’m sure it’s not necessary, but is there anything we should know about your past that you want us to keep out of the news? Any skeletons in your closet?
Governor: (chuckles) Oh, haha, well, I was a major geek in high school. Might be embarrassing if those old photos got out.
PR Person: Haha, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about, sir.
(TWO MONTHS LATER, video footage surfaces of the Governor in his high school talent show biting the heads off of live chickens as the audience boos, screams, and faints. The video goes viral. Protestors are chanting loudly outside the Governor’s Mansion. News helicopters are hovering overhead.)
PR Person: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, MR. GOVERNOR???
