Schmerg The Impaler's Secret Laboratory

Schmergo, Washington DC denizen, lover of literature, fan of fluffy cravats and falafel. This blog is a garbage disposal of corny jokes, memes, Shakespeare, classic lit, Les Miserables, musical theatre, pop culture, history, and assorted other hijinks!

[badsciencejokes]

Send this to a doctor to mess with them lol

[arqueete]

obsessed with this sign i saw taped up outside the bat room at the zoo yesterday. the enthusiasm, the hand-written note, the bat drawing.

[saccharinestardust]

me when i receive a letter from my close and personal friend mina murray

[schmergo]

I have this running bit I do where I refer to F. Murray Abraham as “F.,” like a clueless namedropper pretending to know him on a first name basis. I am the only one who perpetuates this bit and nobody else thinks it’s funny.

[obi-waankenobi]

You know, as much as I'm a fan of horror and time loops, the absolute funniest interpretation I've seen of Dracula Daily is the one that goes that Jonathan Harker is fine and healthy and happy, he's just telling this story to his grandkids. Again. Because they love hearing the Vampire Story.

[misidentifying-animals-in-posts]

best animal names: unnecessarily judgemental edition

[finalhorsegirl]

obsessed with this stupid shirt i found at goodwill the other day

[schmergo]

I have never been able to articulate why I don’t really enjoy playing video games, but I think it just boils down to, I just I hate being told to do tasks. I do tasks all day! I’m not gonna relax by doing more tasks for made-up people!

If a character in a video game says, “Help me find my 7 lost treasures and you will be rewarded,” my instinct is to be like “FIND THEM YOURSELF! I’m tired!” which is kind of the opposite of how games work.

[ytumamatambien2001]

[marisatomay]

“what’s the song of the summer” ?? it’s DANCING IN THE DARK by bruce springsteen for the 42nd year in a row

[goodticklebrain]

It’s (allegedly, possibly, vaguely) Shakespeare’s birthday!

I hate living through times that would make a good history play.

[socialshakespeare]

Happy birthday deathday to Shakespeare!

[gimmickbird-deactivated20231221]

Thanks push notifications

[ritualday]

we're getting closer to 2030 and what are we supposed to do then. that's not a number for a year to be

[uss-emberprise]

[kylorens]

I stumbled upon this cartoon of Hamlet made for kids and THIS SCENE MADE ME SCREAMMM

[fangorn-forest]

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

[paperjoshi]

on it boss

[paperjoshi]

trapped in the catacombs boss

[loveridden1999]