Mmm... Horny merman...
You've been told not to give the jellyfish mer food outside of feeding hours. He's actually very touch-starved because touching him delivers a small electric shock, so he's one of the mer that most of the staff steer clear of. You think it's unfair that he doesn't get treats on top of all that, so one day when no one is looking, you sneak him a piece of salmon.
You slip it into his tank, bravely holding it out and mentally preparing yourself for a sting that never comes. His slippery fingers gently take the salmon. He chews on it slowly while regarding you with wide eyes. His kind don't have pupils. Instead, his eyes are the color of a galaxy, so shiny that you can see yourself reflected perfectly in them.
Another staff member comes down the aisle and you have to beat a hasty retreat and pretend to be busy elsewhere, though you can't stop thinking about the encounter. The next day, the head supervisor gathers the staff in the break room. The burly man is hiding a smile as he tries to look stern, crossing his arms.
"Alright, who fed the jellyfish?" He asks.
You sheepishly raise your hand. The last thing you expect is for the whole room to burst into applause.
"Congrats," Blue, nicknamed after her electric blue hair, gives you a smack on the arm.
"I don't get it. He doesn't sting," you protest.
"Do you know why we don't feed him?" The head supervisor asks.
"No...?"
"Because it sends the poor thing into a rut of astronomical proportions. And it'll continue unless he mates several times," Blue says gleefully. "Man, it's been a while since someone fell for his sad puppy eyes."
"What?" You demand.
The rest of the staff go back to their work, patting you on the back as they leave like you're going to war. The head supervisor chuckles at your expression.
"Well, the best way to learn is through experience. Here you go." He hands you a cylindrical container that looks like a cross between a Stanley cup and a thermos bottle.
It has a lid and buttons like a scifi movie prop. You unscrew the top and peer in. The insides are padded, grey, soft, and rubbery. It looks like a fancy fleshlight with two holes. You press one of the buttons and it makes a soft sucking sound as the insides compress.
"Uh, what do I–"
The head supervisor is already halfway down the hall. "You've got a soft touch," he calls over his shoulder. "This should be easy for you."
@vals-lente
