#short testimony

[hopeinsummer]

One morning, I was out praying in my garden.

I sat in silence with the Lord, admiring the trees in my backyard and watching them sway to the soft summer wind.

Then, I saw a squirrel crawl up a tree, and I said to the Lord: “Lord, whenever I’m out here with you, could you please show me a squirrel so I know that you’re with me?” I didn’t think much of it.

A few weeks later, I’d completely forgotten about that prayer, and I was having a very rough week spiritually. I went outside and did the same routine — sat in my backyard in silence with the Lord. It was the first time I’d done it since I prayed that prayer weeks ago.

At first I say with my eyes closed, but suddenly I had an urge to open them, so I did. At that moment, a single brown squirrel appeared just perfectly in the center of my vision, climbing the same tree as when I made that prayer. I wept and praised the Lord.

[hopeinsummer]

Running back to Him

About a month ago, I got very sick with influenza, and during that time I fell out of habit with reading my Bible. Even after I got better, I truly struggled (and still am) to get back into my word and into God’s presence. In a snowballing compilement of sin, and weakness, the enemy struck. For weeks I was filled with anxiety, and fear, especially about my future, and I was just feeling down in every aspect of the word. Negative feelings began to cloud my mind, and all I could see was that dense, swirling fog that blinded me to anything else.

Then, while I was feeling down, one of my closest friends, who is agnostic, told me something that reminded me of a truth I had forgotten. I was talking to her about my fear of the future, and she said something along the lines of: “If you believe God has a plan for you…”

I didn’t even catch the rest of what she told me. In that moment, all I could think about was how I could have let myself get so lost in my own anxiety that I forgot the most important truth of all: God will always have my back.

Even though I’m still working on getting back on track with the Lord, I still sometimes think about this interaction. It reminds me how God is everywhere: where we least expect him, and always where we most need him. He’s always calling; he’s always speaking. He’s always there with open arms, waiting for us to run back to him.

[tapferhills]

So, with online services, my pastor has encouraged all of us to share our testimony on social media. And since this is pretty much the only social media I use…here goes:

I grew up in a Christian household, but as a kid I was really uncomfortable talking about spiritual things.  I didn’t want to discuss God, I didn’t like when people prayed in small groups; it always felt just way too personal and unsettling to talk about.  I didn’t like conversations about God stuff – not with strangers, not with friends, not with family.  But when I was 11, I started personally believing that Jesus was who He said He was, and I wanted to accept Jesus’ gift and follow Him.  But I still couldn’t talk to anyone about God, it still made me extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed (think Lady Mary’s discomfort when Edith sees her praying in Season 2). So for about a year, I would constantly pray privately to God that I believed in Him, but I just couldn’t talk about Him with anybody, and could He please forgive me for that, etc.  And so for that year, I was never personally secure in my salvation, until finally, God had had enough.  : )  On one random Sunday during church service, God just seized my heart, and I couldn’t wait for the preacher to stop preaching so that I could run down the aisle and tell people I wanted to be saved.  God helped me to be insanely excited to do what I had been terrified for years about, and with that moment He made sure I knew that He heard me and I was His child forever.  And from then on, God’s just kept on transforming my life and what I can do. He’s helped me become much less prideful and angry, and much more loving, patient, and so much more trusting in His ways.

God is good.  All the time.

[quiche-quibbles]

That anon made a valid point and so did you in your response. May I ask, how long have you been a Christian? When did the Father direct you to the Son? (John 6:44)

Heh, that’s a long and complicated answer xD

But to put it “briefly” I grew up most of my life in a Christian environment w/ Christian parents, Christian schools up until graduating high school, and I remember accepting Christ at 6 years old and then 11 years old.

Taking my faith seriously didn’t happen until I was in 8th Grade when I started having my quiet time and asking God what His Will was. I was baptized a year later.

And then after graduating, I hit a low point in college faith-wise, season of doubt and rebellion (though I still told myself and everyone I was a Christ-follower and Bible-believer)...

Then in 2017, I experienced a couple of epiphanies when it came to God, sin, the Gospel, and my purpose here on earth. Like a clearing of the mind with all these beliefs I’ve held making a lot more sense now than ever before.

And that’s the short version of it 😂. This is why I struggle with sharing my testimony cuz there were multiple turning points in my life, not just one (as usual with testimony-sharers). At one point in college, I was even questioning whether or not I was really a Christian. But God graciously reminded me that I was.

[anchoring-seeds-blog]

I made a decision to follow Him in fall/winter 2010. I transferred into a small highschool and joined the Christian focus group. For the first time, I had real Christian friends. Little did I know they had made a major impact in my life. They were so encouraging and edifying. So then I went to a youth rally with them, it was really good, my heart wasn't moved by that but a seed was planted again and it began to grow throughout the rest of that year. Finally I was looking for something to help satisfy my heart, and I found a novel called Messy Spirituality. To sum it up, I read it and what I found at the end was saying a prayer, that somehow I would hear the crystal-clear voice of Jesus whispering, "I love you" That moment I felt such an indescribable Love, that overthrew me from darkness unto light.