#should be over

[yadayadaofachild]

I dont think anyone could give me one good reason why i should stay alive. “You’re still young.” -Yeah, but i dont feel like it physically or mentally. “You’ve got so many possibilities. -oh, in this world thats going to shit anyway? Im good. "You’ve got so much potential.” -Theres 7 billion people in this world, at least half of them are 10x more talented and useful than i am. “You could change this world.” -You cant help those who dont want to be helped. I look in the mirror and think about who i am, what my life has been, and all the great things my life could be, and i still wish i had never been born. If i owned a gun, i wouldnt even have made it to typing this post. Ive deleted my facebooks again, and am just going to accept and live in my solitude. I feel my boyfriend is going to leave me. I dont have friends, my family doesnt care about me, and the family that does is full of drama which i dont want in my life. Ive spent so long trying to be happy every day, that i cant even give effort to try anymore. I dont even desire to be happy anymore; i no longer desire to feel alive. Id rather be dead than ever wake up feeling like this again.

[snxpe]

When I'm at school I think about how much I am dreading going to school the next day I CANT DO IT

[kooladaicecream-blog]

Dapat over na ko sayo

But i'm not. It's been 2 weeks since i had anything to do with you. Bakit ganon? Di parin ako makausad. Naging busy naman ako sa buhay ah. Tinigil ko na manghimasok sa buhay mo. Tinigil ko nadn mang-istalk. Tinanggap ko kung anong nangyare at pinatawad naman na kita don. Dapat makalimutan ko na lahat diba? By this time, dapat wala na kong pakialam sayo diba? Kasi nga iba iba na direksyon ng buhay natin ngayon. Magkahiwalay na landas natin, dapat hindi na kita inaalala pa. Pero hindi eh, hindi ka nga sumusulpot sa cellphone ko. Sa isip ko, dun ka naman pa-sulpot sulpot. Mawawala, tapos susulpot nanaman, mawawala tapos ayan ka nanaman. Hindi ko parin mapatay patay mga ala-ala. Para silang mga bangkay na nabubuhay nanaman sa twing naaalala kita. Yung mga salitang nabitawan naten sa isa't isa nuong tayo pa, nuong masaya pa, replay lagi mga eksenang yun sa isip ko. Yung mga tawag, yung mga kulitan, saka yung mga pangako. Sa tagal na ng panahon, dapat nakapag move-on nako. Dapat isa ka na lang ordinaryong tao sakin. Yun bang 'dapat hindi na ko naaapektuhan'. For some reason, you're still important to me. Even if you don't feel the same. IDK.

Basta ang masasabe ko na lang. Naaalala ko lahat ng sinabe ko sayo bago tayo nagkahiwalay at hindi ko babawiin mga yun. Wala akong babawiin at wala akong pinagsisisihan. Namimiss lang siguro kita sa oras na to'. Mawawala ulet to pag nalibang nanaman ako or may pagkakaabalahang ibang bagay. Bahala na kung anong mangyare. Sabay na lang sa agos ng buhay.