#showe thoughts

[sweetiesoverit]

I hate how most stories set in the future have a scene where someone is getting a history lesson and there’s a question like

“when did [insert bad person] come to power? a) after terrible thing that is entirely possible due to current socio-political climate b) before terrible ecological thing that’s going to happen because of pollution or c) during world war any number greater than or equal to 4”

and then we’re supposed to be like oh wow mr author sir you are truly a visionary far beyond your time that has seen something now so obvious yet we were blind to the whole entire time

[admiral-michova]

*elevator music has a kind of quality that we miss and for some reason is often overlooked*

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Race: Nobody ever questions what kind of bone the dog in cartoons is eating, let alone where he’s getting the bones from.

Spot: Race, it's 3 a.m. Go to bed.

[abcdefghijkyla-blog]

Random Shower Thoughts: Pro-Choice v. Pro-Life.

This morning was an especially hard morning to wake up for work. Not because I was hungover, but because I clocked out at 11:30 Saturday night (after a 9 hour shift and 3 hours in the sun at the WVU game). Then I was up for a couple hours in the middle of the night,comforting an upset friend. So, getting up at 7 for work was a little rough, to say the least lol.

ANYWAY. Point being, I was sleepy. Sleepy Kyla in a hot shower = a lot of thinking.

I never think I'm pregnant. Never. Even if I have a reason to think I am, I always dismiss it. Blessing or curse, I'm not sure. But I never freak out.

For some reason, though, this morning I was kind of worrying. I'd missed my pill 2 days in a row (by a few hours, because I forgot to take it with me to work) and it kinda slipped off at the end the other day. Again, normally I wouldn't think twice about it. But sleepy Kyla spaces and thinks more than normal. ANYWAYYY...

I began to think about abortions.

Would I be able to get one if I was prego? I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge that I love babies a whole lot and cannot wait to be a mother. Which, maybe, is the reason I never really think twice about the possibility of being pregnant. It just doesn't bother me.

But now, now that I have a much, much better understanding of what my future entails I'm second-guessing my once personal anti-abortion stance.

And this is where I digress for a second.

Note: personal. Note: anti-abortion, not pro-life. I mean, honestly. Is anyone really anti-life?! Hardly. We talked about this in my cultural anthropology class last year, about language frames. Saying "pro-life" almost makes you feel guilty if you say you aren't pro-life. Anti-abortion means the same thing, but it's not as emotional. The same goes for pro-choice. Pro-choice sounds better than pro-abortion.

Note: personal. I see the issue of abortion as a completely personal decision. If a woman is okay with getting one, then why the hell not. Me personally, though, I don't know if I could. Morally, I don't think i agree with it, for myself. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't have the choice.

Digression complete. Back to what was originally on my mind. Something less political ahaha.

Abortion. Me. My life.

If I was pregant, would I get an abortion? In the past, no. But now?

I'm not in a relationship. We're friends, and we have been for about 2 years, but we're not in a love relationship. 

If I was going to get one, would I even bring it up to him? Or is it my choice? I'm pretty certain he couldn't deal with a baby right now, either. He, just like I, is planning on grad school. I mean, hell. He's not even from the U.S. What would his African family think of him knocking up an American girl? Surely he wouldn't want it. But would I owe it to him to ask his opinion?

Would I be able to handle it emotionally? My attachment to children. My yearning to be as good of a mama as my mama has been. I really don't think I oculd do it.

But I would need to.

ADladflkjlkjdf random thoughts. Stressing me out ahaha. I need to cool my engine for awhile.

Just turn my brain off and go.