#shut up lillimer

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

You know when youre so angry that your rage overrides your anxiety and you can just Do The Thing out of spite? Whats that called and how do i do it more.

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

Whyyy

Whyyy do parents always assume if you can't find something you didnt look?? I went to the dollar store to find my mom some stringlights but they were sold out. I looked all over the damned store for them, the bulk of my time was spent looking for then. I didnt get what i wanted from the store either because they also didnt have what i wanted. But I for sure could not find her those stupid lights.

And she got so mad. " well they were there a couple days ago" " its hard for me to belive they sold out that fast" " why didnt you ask?"

Well, i didnt ask because the lines were all the way to the back wall of the store and i have bad anxiety. But I looked everywhere for your lights. I checked the display, the seasonal, the electronics, everywhere. But yes mother i didnt even try.

You know, she couldve just gotten out of the car and looked herself. But no. She " wasnt in the mood for it"

And her friend was with me. Her friend saw me start to panic. She said " its okay honey, theyre just lights" I said " no, shes gonna get mad at me, just you watch" and when she started sniping at me in the car her friend said " oh what she was supposed to ask about the lights that werent even there?"

So thier friendship is over.

Just why? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR KID COULDNT FIND THEM?!

why do parents feel the beed to yell and berate the child because they couldnt find something....what good does it do

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

Hey cashier's and store workers, i love you guys, youre amazing, but can you please not joke about being totally out of something we really need...? My mother and I almost cried when one of you said you dont carry lwanmower batteries. We wanted to prove that a single mom and her daughter could do things for ourselves. And that would have been the straw that broke our backs. We know it was in good humor, we know you wouldnt have been able to tell that we were so torn up. Just, please for future refrence...

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

A picture about Crying Headaches. I wanted to do mermay this year but with losing three pets in this past month i dont think i can...oh well. Im gonna be okay though, I promise. Im making some mashed potatoes to cheer myself up

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

In less then a week i become

Bigger adult

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

My proudest moment forever will be when i was put in a group of popular kids in my high school english class, and the teacher told us to interpret a poem, first on our own and then amongst eachother.

It was called the last word and it was basically someone chopping somebody elses head off and how it hurt to deal that blow. They all took it literally. And when it was my turn to speak i told them how my interpretation was that it was a verbal argument between to people and the blow hurt both of them because it was something that shouldnt have been said.

I will never forget the stunned silence and the "OHHHH" that followed. It wasnt a proud moment because i showed them up, it was a proud moment because they asked how i got there and what led me to the conclusion and when the teacher called on one of them they said " well i thought it was literal but X explained" and they gave me credit rather than taking it.

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

Something cute

When i was like...15 i would ride my bike down to a little gas station and buy a candy bar. I was always there buying candy cause it was an escape from my homelife. Sometimes i would bring back candy for my mom and brother other days it would be just mine.

The cashiers were all very sweet. I knew them all by name and they all knew me. Because we were all friends i used to make them origami. Little origami animals, flowers, candy cups all that. Over months ad months i would tell them about my day, bring them origami, buy candy it was so much fun. My dad would go and get gas and they would tell my dad " Oh X was down here today and she gave us this" and show him. They always had the origami on display.

One day i went down there and the cashier who was my personal favorite lit up when she saw me. After i bought my Milky Way she told me to hold up a sec. She and the manager came out with a little gift bag. It was nowhere near my birthday. They had all pitched in and bought me origami paper and my favorite candies. I cried, it was the sweetest thing. They had just done it out of the kindness of their hearts.

I look back on that all the time when im sad. I still have the origami paper. And later on when i was with my current boyfriend (who looks much older than me) one of the male cashiers told my dad that he "almost jumped over the counter to get him away from me" which is sweet but i explained that he was my boyfriend and he isnt that much older, dont worry.

I think about those people from time to time. I got to my old town and to that old gas station. It has long since been renovated, the cashiers changed out, my origami may be in the trash they may be somewhere else. But that store will always be a favorite memory of mine.

[lillimer-the-glitter-lover]

Hhhhhh

I dont have much confidence in my Boba doll. Ive had this draculaura for so long but giving her new life is going to be wonderful. And Dollightful released a cute new doll, and its so wonderful. I should let inspire me not discourage me.